living with someone that does not want to be AF

[summer girl]

Does any one else live with someone who does not want to stop drinking and how do you deal with it with out feeling angry, I do know I can only control myself but if any one has any tips I would be grateful.:new:

[rubywillow]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Summer, it's a very personal thing, and depends on the extent of their drinking, IMHO. Hubs drinks, occasionally, but normally, and is conscious of me and my wishes. I'm in a good place now with mine, but everyone is different. Stay sober. You'll see the answer clearly in time.
Rubes

[Guest]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Summer,

Many of us do live with heavy drinkers. It does make it difficult but not impossible.

So many wise, helpful, loving people here.
:welcome:

[summer girl]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Thanks for the replys,He drinks beer which I do not even like the smell of,I do not mind it with clamato. He drinks every day and has since I met him. I have asked him to stop but he says that is how he is. I do find when I have tried to quit before that he has brought home wine, some times I can resist but other times I have caved. I can not blame him because I have a choice. But some times it is hard when he is drunk , Yes that was something we did together but I can not be his drinking buddy any more. The guilt and shame I have for living that way are overwhelming and I hate myself. I am on day 8 Af I know it is not alot but I am starting to feel somewhat better I am glad I have here to talk to someone. It is hard as most evey one in our family drinks,my work etc. so for others I am not any different than they are. But I can not go on feeling like i am wasting my life.

[LVT25]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Summer, my hubby and I were drinking buddies from day one, for over 20 years. Then I quit......and he didn't. And yes, it's hard, and yes I get really irritated with him at times.
But, it can be done if you want it bad enough.
Check out the program here. It really does work!
:welcome:

[rubywillow]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Summer, sounds like you're good and ready for a change. Focus on yourself, try to ignore his AL use. After you are comfortable with the sobriety you are striving for, the choices you have will be clearer. Decisions made wwith a clear head are always the best ones. Maybe you will be content with him as he is. Maybe not. But stay on YOUR path, because you have seen that the 'same old same old' is not what you want. So glad to have you here. Please join us on 'the journey Starts here' thread. You'll find lots of support there, too.
Rubes

[fennel]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

You know, I'm experiencing this a bit myself. Oddly, my partner was supposedly the less obsessed part of the equation. Now that I have massively cut down on my A consumption, she is jonesing for drinks. And taking them. I don't know if she'll ever follow my lead, or how this will all pan out. All I know is that for now, I need to not be drinking. Or barely be drinking.

[summer girl]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Thank you all,I am startin to feel less alone, when you go through the AL thing some times it feels if you are the only one. So glad I finally got the courage to post on here.

[rubywillow]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

Summer, it seems like a big step, huh, to put yourself out here? Actually, you'll find so many 'been there/done that' stories, you will be amazed. You know the old, absolutely true, saying: 'There's nothing new under the sun.'?? It applies at LEAST equally here. You'll find support, info, friends, help, comfort here, as long as you're not looking for coddling, but truth from those who've done it all. I'm glad you're here. Shop around, find a site you like, and post often. Let me be the first to invite you to 'The Journey Starts Here......' thread.You will find support there, or many other sites here.
Rubes

[runningwind]

living with someone that does not want to be AF

fennel;838040 wrote: You know, I'm experiencing this a bit myself. Oddly, my partner was supposedly the less obsessed part of the equation. Now that I have massively cut down on my A consumption, she is jonesing for drinks. And taking them. I don't know if she'll ever follow my lead, or how this will all pan out. All I know is that for now, I need to not be drinking. Or barely be drinking.

fennel, please don't take this the wrong way, but I feel I need too say this; there is change going on in both of your lives and for most people that can be uncomfortable.
She might be trying too get you to drink because (I have said this a thousand times, sorry), then she dosen't have to listen to her own issues. Take care, I truly wish you the best!

runningwind