depression caused by AL or visa versa?

[mama bear]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

Thanks wise mario!

[KateH1]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

Ruby, such a wise doctor! So true his statement is.

The last few years of my drinking career I became extremely depressed and often suffered from extreme anxiety. Like DG, I even considered ending my life. These thoughts were irrational, I know, but fueled by alcohol these thoughts were growing stronger all the time. A sense of helplessness and hopelessness had replaced my once optimistic nature.

The first few months after I stopped drinking, I had a lot of ups and downs....moments of near euphoria to others of depression. But the sense of hopelessness and helplessness were not present. I now know that allowing ourselves to even out after years of drinking takes months, not days. For me, this process took about 6 months.

The thing is, many of us began drinking to mask uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. I was able to accomplish this to the point that I could no longer FEEL my life, neither the highs nor the lows. That was no way to live. In my recovery, I have had to learn to accept my feelings, all of them. I have had to learn new coping skills and most of all acceptance, that sometimes I am not perky and happy and that this is OK. I am happy that I no longer attempt to heal my life through "chemistry".

Again, I completely understand that sometimes, people truly suffer from medical problems that cause depression and that medical intervention is the wisest course. But, at the same time, I think we should not see pills and/or alcohol as an answer to the normal stressors in life, but rather learn to deal with life on life's terms.

xxx Kate

[changemylife]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

Such a great thread! Lots of great advice. Mario, I tend to be a perfectionist. This is very difficult on the brain cause no one is perfect. I am hard on myself. I do need to relax a little and ease off the bad thinking. I have an appointment this week with a therapist to start working on this stuff.

[godknowsImtrying]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

Again, I completely understand that sometimes, people truly suffer from medical problems that cause depression and that medical intervention is the wisest course. But, at the same time, I think we should not see pills and/or alcohol as an answer to the normal stressors in life, but rather learn to deal with life on life's terms.

So true. I went back on the Wellbutrin recently to deal with the depression coming back...as I began to drink again. Though I've had more than the "normal" stressors in life, I managed to deal with them much more successfully without alcohol. Drinking only made me feel hopeless...and more depressed. And then comes the negative self-talk. There's always the fear that I've done irreparable damage by drinking...or that I'm genetically pre-disposed to depression and it's a kindling thing.

So Mario-wonderful advice I've also heard from a wonderful therapist. Need to reconnect with the real world. The world I get into when drinking and, then, depressed is a very bad place. Surround yourself with the positive and things really start changing.

That's why it was so important to reach out and connect as I try to see the world again without AL and what it looks like.

[sk8punk]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

I had social anxiety and bouts of depression before AL. Alcohol made my anxiety way worse. In my mind I made little things I worried about into huge problems.
I'm going to counsuling now to help me with my problems.

[looking for peace]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

I'm glad this post inspired so many great comments. Mario, I really needed to read your post this morning. I slipped last night and am hearing all that negative talk in my head today. It's so hard not to say I hate myself. I need to keep rereading it. I have copies of alot of your posts and go back to them. I just don;t go back to read them at the right times.

Not that this is an excuse, but my trigger yesterday involved my 15 year autistic old son. We took him to yet another psychologist who has yet another new technique that will cost yet more money and take more time. My husband is all for it it, but he doesn't have to deal with the meetings, logistics, paperwork, research etc...(it's like a full time job) I already spend most of my time driving my son to therapists, meetings, activities etc. He can't stay home alone so I pay a fortune to get adult "babysitters" for my son to take him to the movies and on outings. I can't even go to the store for 20 minutes without taking him with me or getting someone to watch him. We have no family here to help out. My older "normal son" will be leaving for college in less than 2 years and then no one will be at home to watch him while I step out to do errands. I just couldn't take the idea of yet another expensive and what I believe to be empty promise to help him out. Sometimes I feel like we should be saving all of our money for his future care instead. This is on top of other big issues that have happened over the last 2 1/2 years.

I probably should have posted elsewhere, but I just needed to vent about my son... Don't get me wrong, I truly love him to pieces, I just feel so weighed down, with no end in sight. I probably need to learn more about acceptance. I'm so ashamed and disgusted for caving... the 2 hours of "relief" is in no way worth what I'm going through today. The idea that if anything bad happens to me would result in his being completely lost and distraught doesn't even stop me from caving in, makes me disgusted with myself. Sooooo upset. :upset:

[changemylife]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

Looking for Peace :l

[fennel]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

KateH1;840241 wrote:


Again, I completely understand that sometimes, people truly suffer from medical problems that cause depression and that medical intervention is the wisest course. But, at the same time, I think we should not see pills and/or alcohol as an answer to the normal stressors in life, but rather learn to deal with life on life's terms.

xxx Kate

I happen to come from a family of the above. There is a long history of depression/anxiety on my mom's side of the family that doesn't really respond to much besides medical intervention. I've accepted this. I don't need to be on meds all the time. I cycle in and out. I don't mind dealing with life on it's terms. However, when depression becomes paralyzing, pills are necessary (for me).

[catch22]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

If i was to be honest i think my depression come first, BUT i did not like to admit it. I really thought i would end up like my brother being in and out of hospitals not allowed out or section. when i was a kid i was shit scared, Of a lot of things and they stayed with me through my adult life. Im on anti deppressant they dont make me happy,( i create my own happiness and it does help a lot by not drinking AL) but they do balance me out at a medium level if that makes sense, i dont shut myself alway in my bedroom no more or isolate myself.

P.S looking for peace, sorry i had not read your last post, you know there are good people here 24/7 to support in anyway they can, so vent as much as you want. Big hug from me.x

[rubywillow]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

LFP, I can only imagine the burden you carry every day. Autism is very difficult condition, I know. What part of the world are you in hon? Do they have support groups? When you need to vent, post anywhere. We all have to blow off steam somewhere. :hug:

[fennel]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

looking for peace;840664 wrote: I'm glad this post inspired so many great comments. Mario, I really needed to read your post this morning. I slipped last night and am hearing all that negative talk in my head today. It's so hard not to say I hate myself. I need to keep rereading it. I have copies of alot of your posts and go back to them. I just don;t go back to read them at the right times.

Not that this is an excuse, but my trigger yesterday involved my 15 year autistic old son. We took him to yet another psychologist who has yet another new technique that will cost yet more money and take more time. My husband is all for it it, but he doesn't have to deal with the meetings, logistics, paperwork, research etc...(it's like a full time job) I already spend most of my time driving my son to therapists, meetings, activities etc. He can't stay home alone so I pay a fortune to get adult "babysitters" for my son to take him to the movies and on outings. I can't even go to the store for 20 minutes without taking him with me or getting someone to watch him. We have no family here to help out. My older "normal son" will be leaving for college in less than 2 years and then no one will be at home to watch him while I step out to do errands. I just couldn't take the idea of yet another expensive and what I believe to be empty promise to help him out. Sometimes I feel like we should be saving all of our money for his future care instead. This is on top of other big issues that have happened over the last 2 1/2 years.

Wow. This sucks, lookingforpeace. Can you tell your husband what you just told us? :l

[justfortoday]

depression caused by AL or visa versa?

now i liked that

I often think of the chicken and the egg situation. Which came first? Was it the mental illness or was it the abuse of alcohol/substances? I have come to this conclusion. It is a mental illness. I can only ever go by myself, so in no way talk for another soul. I think, I was mentally ill from a very young age. Depression engulfed me. I got on with it. Then found alcohol and substances and just rode the road. Until one day, I woke up and thought 'hey ho, this is bad and it is killing you, why are you doing it, just stop!!' The carnage of drink and self abuse is too much for me to insult any of you, but you all know the score. Lucky is he who has a friend after substance abuse. Then the true enormity of my actions came into focus as I realized stopping was more than just a word or a wish. I tried AA, I tried and walked away. I read self help books and put them down. I continued and realized we are fighting a demon, hence the name demon drink. I think it is depression first and self medication. Good luck with your quest....:l