alcohol

[justfortoday]

Just recently I have really given some honest thought into my alcohol abuse. I did think it was a recent thing and then actually gave some serious thought and found that it has always reared its head. I was the one at school, who drank too much. The one who found that alcohol excused my bad behaivour, I was drunk so therefore, it is ok!!! I am not sure at what point it became a problem, maybe the fact that each day I craved wine. It was very real, very powerful and very belittling at the same time - 9 times out of 10, I caved in. If the one time I did not cave in, it only gave way for the next debilitating case of self harm and abuse. I could could myself with a knife and not feel as much pain as I do after I wake up after a binge. I recall nothing and that to me is sinful. I am not sure rehab is the answer, that is the place if you can afford it. I believe alcohol excess is the result of an imbalance of mind, body and spirit. How the heck do I get better??

[rubywillow]

alcohol

Just, your name is a BIG important step in our journey. Just for today, I will not drink. If that's too hard, we can break it down into smaller steps. But, yes, sadly, if you are losing memories and time, there IS a problem. There is a pattern in your drinking, right? Think about it, even post it here if you would like to get pointers and comments. How does your day start, when does the drinking start, what are your habits??? DO you want to get out of this before the real destruction begins, because I promise, it will destroy. I've been rebuilding bridges almost 2 years, and don't know how far I have to go. I know what precious time I've lost, tho. If you REALLY want help, you need to start a 'PLAN' and go throught the 'TOOLBOX'. We'll tell you how if you want. Do you remember if your first drink was a good experience? Mine wasn't, but I kept after it till I got where I was 2 years ago, an embarrassing mess, dying from poison. Stay with us, share with us, join any thread you like, or PM me and you will receive help.
Rubes

[spuddleduck]

alcohol

:welcome: hi justfortoday. well done for thinking about your issues. you have found a great place here for advice, support and inspiration.blacking out is just awful and it will only get worse. read lots of posts here. you will find lots of people in the same position as you are. good luck

[hillsidetime]

alcohol

Hi just for today. Reading your posting sure did hit home...I was also that drunk person in school etc. I never really outgrew the binge drinking, even when I had a young family. Some other things that I have been thinking about, in relation to drinking too much are based around habit. I do think that we get into habits that are one day at a time. If I look at a "harmful" habit as something I only do today, it doesn't seem so bad. When you look at it with a bigger scope, over decades, it seems different.

I think, most people most likely have imbalances all the time, and I think that is what is "normal". It seems that we always are trying to find balance. For me, drinking too much, was really changing my balance in a lot of areas.

I wish I had the magic potion and could make you better. For me, this site, and the amazing people have helped me so much. All the best.
Hill

[justfortoday]

alcohol

thanks

I have read all the messages of support and thanks very much. I am sober today, but do spend most of my time contemplating how on earth this began. In answer to Ruby if I enjoyed my first drink? The answer would be, not really and to be honest, I do not like the taste of alcohol, which is the weirdest thing ever, but it is true. I love a cold drink of pineapple and lemonade and wine or beer does not refresh me so it must be the feelings of drunkness I enjoy. Which in itself is stupid as I just lose control and cannot remember many things. I will read the mwo book and also the seven weeks to sobriety sounds interesting. I am focusing and being strong. I have far too much to lose. Have a nice day one and all.

[Guest]

alcohol

Just,
You made me remember I also hated the taste of alcohol when I first started drinking for a pastime(ha) in my 40's. Started out on drinks like Slo Gin Fizz, weak Screwdrivers. I hated the taste of whiskey and especially beer! but by the end whiskey was what I wanted, quick buzz and then of course the blackout. And beer I could guzzle, thinking I would not black out with it.
Strange how an addition will make you change your taste!:yuk:

[justfortoday]

alcohol

to saving grace

And by but always for the grace of god!!!! Wait until you taste meths!!! No, I have not gotten there yet and god forbid, but it amazing how alcohol will take you to the limits and it will. I think prohibition was good in reason, maybe not in practise but the ethics were there. :H