Not a product of abuse or anything else.

[Cinders]

Not a product of abuse or anything else.

Thank you to all of you for your responses.

I guess sometimes I read all the horrible stories of childhood abuse and reasons why and I just don't have that memory to recall.

I had a wonderful childhood. I have a wonderful adult life.

And yet, here I am. Still an alcoholic.

No. I am not looking for the "why." I know the why doesn't matter.

But sometimes, I feel so badly because I was given such an idyllic life, childhood, teenagerhood, adulthood, and yet I am still here.

I just kind of wanted to throw out there to those who are in my shoes, it is okay that we are what we are.

We did not ask for it, nor was it handed to us.

I can't ask a psychiatrist to find a way to help me based on my history or past. I have to find the answer within myself.

I am okay with that. I do not mind that I am an alcoholic, I just know I wasn't "made" one by circumstance and family.

It is what it is.

I hope this rambling makes sense. We are what we are.

Love,
Cindi

[mario]

Not a product of abuse or anything else.

I can't ask a psychiatrist to find a way to help me based on my history or past. I have to find the answer within myself.

I am okay with that. I do not mind that I am an alcoholic, I just know I wasn't "made" one by circumstance and family.

It is what it is.

I hope this rambling makes sense. We are what we are.

Love,
Cindi

right on cindi,

[hillsidetime]

Not a product of abuse or anything else.

Hi Cindi, I have to say that I am like you. I do not have anyone to blame. I just like to drink. I think that both of my grandfathers drank and drank a lot, but they were not around when I was growing up, so no influence there. I also feel guilty, you are not alone. I blame myself, and my inability to stop drinking too much, too fast, too often, for too many hours in a row - I don't have an off botton. There is a chance that there is a physiological reason for some people to be prone to addictive behaviours, or to be prone to alchohol abuse - however, it most likely will not be figured out in our lifetime. Regardless, those answers won't change things. What can change us, is finding a way to live sober.
Hill

[KateH1]

Not a product of abuse or anything else.

Very interesting.....I believe that we drink because we choose to drink or not. We definitely understand that addiction is very complicated and not at all easy to overcome. When we are living IN Our Addiction we have a never ending list of Excuses and Reasons for our drinking, and many also have a lengthy "Blame" list. But, at the end of the day, we drink because we Choose to Drink. The only way to stop drinking is to take responsibility for our own life and the power to change the way that we live.

As for coming from trauma and abuse. I lived through horrible, emotional, physical, mental and mental abuse. I also lived though years of sexual abuse from my own father. I grew up never feeling loved or safe. This too, is a complicated environment to live through and to learn how to thrive in spite of. But, it too comes down to choices, to let the past rule the present and the future, or to learn to let the past go and make our own choices for the present and our future. Drinking does not heal the past! Drinking does not create a safe, healthy and happy future. Only we can create the life that we desire!

Just my thoughts....I am happy for all here who are finding their own way to a life free from the ravages of alcohol!!

xxx Kate

[catch22]

Not a product of abuse or anything else.

Got to say I almost feel guilty that my brother got in debt through being a Alcohloic, it also broke up his marriage, plus he lost his job, and was in prison, as well.

These things never happen to me i have my husband, plus my son and daughter with me, they were never taken away from me through my drinking, so im counting myself very lucky.

what about the people that gamble and every time they say this time im going to WIN and they dont.

Yes my childhood up bringing was not normal, my dad drunk a lot and when he was sober he was not right in the head. I dont blame him for my drinking he never twisted my arm and force drink down me. To be Alcoholic is a addiction there are lots of addictions besides AL .

Cinders dont feel bad im glad your still here:l, and it ok to feel those feelings, dont feel like you feel selfish because your still here, or because someone else had a bad childhood, if that makes sense.

We are all different, with the same addiction.