Girlfriends......

[Helensback]

Girlfriends......

Not that I'm gettin' cheap or anything.........

......But I think, upon reflection, Kev would be best to review the rules of proper table setting.
Shouldn't really cost too much. Maybe a shrimp cocktail and a B&B plate or two.

If he works his silverware from the outside in when dining, he will inevitably impress all those who care - such as the waiter.

But --- his Sheila may actually notice and think that perhaps he reads books and stuff.
Heck, he might even give the impression that he is interested in every little detail of a woman's mind!
- ad nauseum.

Then, by golly, Kev might have a hope.

A hope is nothing to sneeze at, you know.

Trust me,

Helen

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

Helen........

That was Am-bloody-azing advice love. Wish I had thought of it. But, alas, I do believe Kev has possibly had the said book thrown at him.

I, as Kev's best mate, do believe that he has dallied his last dalliance. He has gone a bit too far with his coquetry and well, I think his bloody goose is cooked.

Poor, poor Kev.

Nay, poor, poor Kev's sheila.

[tawnyfrog]

Girlfriends......

Kanga,

I know he's your best friend and all that - but don't you think Kev's being a bit pusillanimous? Most women hate that. But no doubt, Melvin will have a better take on this.

Tawny

[Helensback]

Girlfriends......

I agree

Nothing worse than a man who cowers at a salad fork and double knife setting combined.

Really.

And what to do when the glasses are set? Hmmm?

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

Yes Tawn.......and Helen...................

But poor Kev, is not so much a bloody lily-livered coward so much as the poor bloke has a phobia.

He has espousalsphobia. He just found out. Poor bloody bloke.

Melvin....................how can I help Kev's situation............

I remember once, when we were boys........Kev was afraid of spiders so I wanted to show him that spiders were okay. The only way he would believe me was if I ate one, so I ate a giant Huntsman and Kev was cured from that day on.

I would like to help Kev out again............but I just can't bloody think what to do.

[Helensback]

Girlfriends......

espousalsphobia...

Okay - You got me.

Sounds like it might itch.

Not good in a restaurant setting.

Or- depending on the itch site - in any setting.

A fear of scratching the surface?

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

Helen, Helen, Helen......................

espousals.

a. a marriage ceremony.
b. an engagement or betrothal celebration.


phobia

a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

[Helensback]

Girlfriends......

and yer point?

Still sounds itchy to me.

[Guest]

Girlfriends......

Melvin

Dear Mr. Kanga,

With respect to Brawnyfrog and Helenscracked, seriously, what in the hell are they talking about? Kev sounds to me like a very brave man indeed, and I have no doubt that a mere table setting would in no way intimidate him.

But the phobia, oh the phobia has me worried! I do feel that guiding Kev in matters of matrimony may require your gentle and obviously tactful persona. I feel you shine in that department. If I may suggest? Thankyou in advance! Perhaps a quiet chat about colours for the wedding and such? You know, keep his mind off the pressure of such a committment.

You must not forget, I am here for consultation whenever you should require it. I feel I have become quite close to both you and Kev. I think we sensitive men can become a force to be reckoned with in the 'How to win your woman' stakes.

And Mr. Kanga, may I now ask you a question? Thankyou in advance! Could you perhaps guide me in the best way to...um...un-win a woman? I have a rather...um...persistent suitor who, to put it politely, won't bugger off.

Yours truly,

Melvin.

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

Melvin my man!

Bloody good to hear from you.

Helen, I think itchy is a word we can work with.....yes, in a round about fashion you have revealed that Kev, has, in fact, got itchy feet, and they are also very cold.

Now Mel, me old mate, Can I say first of all what bloody style you have. Thank you in advance. Now, your drama first Mel, I can call you Mel, can't I? I find, when I'm tryin' to shake a sheila is that if you try to pull her best friend, that tends to put the troublesome female's nose out of joint. However, that leaves you with the dilemma of havin' the first sheila's friend round your bloody neck so..........ummmmm, yeah, just continue this pattern until you run out of sheila's...there.... and, I will accept your thanks in advance for that beaut advice.

And, yeah, Tawny and bloody Helen.......what do they bloody know? Uh! Sheilas!

Re weddin' colours..............oh, if that's what it bloody takes to help my mate, Kev. I'll give it a burl. Maybe I could seek your advice with same? You obviously know more about this kind of thing than I do, you being betrothed n' all. You are, aren't you mate? Anyway, if you're not, I have a bonza mate who would happily step in there...........you might know of her...............her name is Kate.

[tawnyfrog]

Girlfriends......

Melvin,

Perhaps if you also ingested some large arachnids, your unwanted paramour would, indeed, bugger off.

As I'm doing. I've booked a 3 week holiday to Barbados. Leaving tomorrow.
Good luck to all of you.

Tawny

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

Tawn!

I didn't mean to call you a bloody sheila.

TAWN!

I just got carried away........it was Kev who made me say it

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

I did eat a spider..........see I even kept the X-Ray of my stomach...............

BUT...........that didn't keep the sheila's away, as suggested by Tawn, in fact it's bloody sheila magnet. So, Mel, don't do it mate.

Tawn...........don't get on that 'plane.......................

[tawnyfrog]

Girlfriends......

oh I know, Kanga ... and the dog ate your homework.

I'll send you all a postcard.

[TheKanga]

Girlfriends......

Melvin................

"You must not forget, I am here for consultation whenever you should require it. I feel I have become quite close to both you and Kev. I think we sensitive men can become a force to be reckoned with in the 'How to win your woman' stakes."


Mel, yer on mate.................. what can I do to stop me cc from disappearin' out of me life forever.......................

Tawn! Just hang on there...................you can't go because..............................oh Melvin, I just don't know what to say........................:upset: