AL Detox Time

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

Meech, HC-all 3 of us need to band together and put our fingers in our ears and go "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA " when the beast starts talking. He is a persistent devil but we know what's best for us and most importantly HE LIES!! Yup, he's a big fat liar!! You're right Meech-if we listen to his soft velvety talk and believe him when he says "just a couple" it will be an all out binge. We all know it.
I'm going to get a pedicure after work with my sis. I don't know if she'll suggest dinner afterwards-sort of an impromptu ladies nite out but here is my plan: I used to LOVE banana and strawberry daiquiries but the rum and hard liquor I really couldn't handle so I switched to wine. Well, if we go out tonite, I'm going to indulge in remembering my college days and order one. BUT!!!! It will be a VIRGIN daiquirie!! How cool is that?? I get to have my cake and eat it too!! Take that you beastie beast beast!!:alf:

[gyco]

AL Detox Time

hi meech,you seem to be doing quite well,use whatever works,remember you are in control,not the substance,i wish you well gyco

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Thanks Gyco. That's the key isnt it? Finding out what works for you. An activity, a quote that hits you, knowing I have to report on this thread and would be mortified to say I failed. The CD's helping to block out the cravings for the most part.

Hippy - Yes don't let the daily plans slide. As you never know when the tough days, moments will hit you. That sneaky bast#$rd!

Pappmom - Enjoy the virgin Daiquri's. One thing even when I was drinking I enjoyed the margaritas and daiquri's just as much when they were virgins!


Speaking of CD's blocking out the cravings. I still have hard days but I really think the hypnosis is having an affect on my subconscious and is succeeding about 75% of the time. I have been noticing some days very little cravings that i can flick away with a finger. But about twice a week (USUALLY WHEN I AM NOT TOO BUSY) they are nasty.

Because it's only been 2 1/2 weeks of listening to the CD's, but I think my brain and way of thinking will continue to develop a healthier more focussed AF behaviour. I do realize decades of developing this terrible AL routine is not going to be cured in a month. I just hope it gets easier after a month.

I know tomorrow night will be VERY VERY difficult. I have nothing going on, it's the weekend, hubby at home. It sets up for the typical 6 beer binge (and for me that's a drunk even with the tolerance and a shameful hangover in the morning).

Realizations:
1) Can't think of AF forever because it's too overwhelming. Set myself up for failure that way. For Right now ODAT.
2) Can't moderate. The feeling I get from booze is so addictive I just keep drinking. Stopping after 2 is even harder to do then stopping before the first one. Even if I do a 1 year AF, if I start it's back to square one.
3) Keep trusting the hypnotic CD's and know that they will continue to build a new way of thinking, behaving and living AF.

No regrets.


Everyone - :lalala: To the AL BEAST this weekend!

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

Meech, you crack me up!! Didn't even think to look for a La La Smiley!! You know I'm going to be using it all the time now LOL!!

Yep, same with me-it's the times I don't have anything on my plate that I want the glass or 8 of wine. I can't go shopping every nite-don't have the money and the boyz deserve my company so I really have to work on how to get past those types of cravings.

You're doing so well and I'm so impressed with all your physical activity!! What do you do for a job where you get to lead 90 minutes hikes? I want it!!

I'll check in again tomorrow. I'll be on the boards all day if it's slow at work-might even find me in chat for once!!

Have a great nite!!
:h

[Hippy Chick]

AL Detox Time

Morning Meech.
Your realisations are true for me too. Even now the thought of being AF forever is overwhelming.
I think you are right about the CD's taking a while to erase the last few years of thinking. "It wont happen over night but it will happen" to quote a very old and stupid shampoo commercial.... Keep at it. Even the relaxation you get from just laying there must do you some good.
Take care, stay strong and fingers in the ears!
LALALALALALALA.......
:H

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Happy Sober Saturday Day 19 Today

Well just finished a beautiful trail run with a great group. Then leftover lasagna. Yummy!

Must go to store this afternoon to stock up on AF drinks. I must try this great sounding AF cocktail that calls for lemon sherbert but I can't find any in town so I may have to make it from scratch this afternoon.

Hippy - Yes I think you have to be real with yourself or it won't work. Thinking that maybe I can moderate after a big AF stretch is a joke. I'll be back to binging every other day in an instant. But thinking I'll never have an ice cold beer ever again is down right scarey. I still miss that drink something fierce. Honestly I think I start salivating when I think of it.

Papmom - My job is basically a sports/fitness coach and when we moved to the mountains it just fit to do trail hikes, runs, snowshoeing etc.... Love it. My other job which is once, sometimes twice a week is pulling some evening shifts at a restaurant. The tips are amazing so I can't pass up the cash. It's amazing I have boozed it up with all the activity. It sure hurts and I have nothing leftover after work. So the kids get the "worn-out hungover sleepy mom". So it's been nice to actually do my job and have energy leftover to play with them!
:thumbs:

Work was busy last night and my darling children (2 out of the 3 anyway) decided to get up and be noisy at 6am!!!! Can't get them out of bed during the week for school. :what?:


Long weekend here so lots of tourists in town. Lots of parties so I may put in the sleep CD for some white noise to block out the world tonight when I sleep. Tomorrow morning is early big hike then big bike. Then work tomorrow night at the restaurant and it's gonna be a busy long night.


I'm actually in the mood right now to organize some closets. Since this happens once every 10 years for me I should seize the moment. I'll let you know how I make out. If I go for it or just wait for the feeling to pass. :H

I really am going to work hard at fighting the beast tonight!!!! :fingers::bat:

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Day 19 and I really want a beer right now

Okay it's 5:50pm - BIG TIME WITCHING HOUR FOR CRAVINGS


I had a great morning then the loss of my twin brother hit me hard in the early afternoon. I heard a song that triggered the sadness and I haven't stopped crying all afternoon. I can't believe he's gone. I miss him so much and wish I could just bring him back. :upset:

I know that drinking will only make me feel worse and the regrets will be mortifing in the morning.

I just really feel weak and want to get drunk. I knew tonight would be tough. Damn, I hope I can get through this first intense craving.

No regrets isn't working right now. It usually always does....

[JackieClaire]

AL Detox Time

Come on Meech,
You know I'm listening sweetheart, You can do this, we can do this. Remember Johnny H's thread from yesterday.
J x
:l

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Waiting it out

Still want beer but I think I got over the first craving of the night. Which hopefully was the worst.

I wasn't even going to post as I didn't want to be talked OUT OF DRINKING!!!!! AL BEAST figured if he could keep me away from this site then he'll get his claws deep into me.

I SERIOUSLY thought I would be heading to the liquor store. Night's not over yet, but I am feeling a little more in control than half an hour ago. I dug out some old chocolates I found in the cupbard, kind of gross but it helped take the edge off.

I know I need to eat to help cut cravings. better go do that now.

Jumping in the bath with some reading as soon as hubby gets through the door. He can do supper with the kids. This is serious.

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

hang on Meech!! LA LA LA LA LA!!!! I think the bubble bath is a great idea-keep the book in your hand or have a cup of tea next to you. You can do this. I'm sorry that the memory of your twin was a sad one for you. I have a feeling that the raw feelings and extreme sadness will be important things for you to go through even tho it hurts real bad. Numbing yourself won't let you move on right? I know how much you want to give in but it's time for us all to find other ways of dealing with emotions, memories, the need to relax etc.
I'll be up for a while so will be checking in on you for the next few hours. It's almost 9pm here-you're coming up on 6pm right? Did you eat supper yet?

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

i survived again

Papmom, JC, I know Hippy chick will be reading the post soon too (and anyone else)

I can't believe I resisted. The temptation was ridiculous. Nasty Beast tried every excuse it could throw at me. I had to believe if I just waited it out it would subside.

When you are in the throws of a mean craving it feels like it will never go away, so you might as well give in. BUT IT DOES FADE. A beer would still taste good right now but I have beat the worst cravings and the rest of the night will be okay.

I ate a healthy supper and had more peach drink.

The bath is being drawn and I'm about to go in and de-compress. Thank you.

CD's and supplements are great.....BUT IT WAS MY AWESOME MWO FRIENDS THAT PULLED ME THROUGH TONIGHT!!!! :

Still very sad as I think I am actually really coming to terms with the reality that he is gone (always be with me in spirit but gone in body).

But tomorrow I will wake up hopefully feeling happier and absolutely NOT HUNGOVER AND REGRETFUL.:l:thanks::h

[Hippy Chick]

AL Detox Time

Hi Meech. Sorry I wasnt around to help you thru your nasty night. Sounds like you did really well though, so be proud of yourself. You WILL have no regrets in the morning. You are struggling with a horrible addiction as well as the sadness at your brother dying but you are doing it. You are not giving in the that voice inside your head. You are stronger than that. You are proving it time and again that YOU are in control, not the beast.
The sadness you feel for loosing your brother is not going to go away by numbing yourself with alcohol because you cant numb yourself to that pain. Unfortunately you have to ride that pain out. Dont add to that pain by drinking because then you will have to deal with all that shame and regrets you WILL feel as well as the grief.
You said shortly after your brother died that you wanted your sobriety to be a tribute to him. Keep thinking of that when the desire gets strong.
Well done on coming here and putting your pain to words.
Take care and go gentle with yourself.
HC:l

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

Yea Meech!! I''m so proud of you and you WILL be an inspiration to me when my cravings become unbearable. You did good!! I'm sorry I was asleep when you finally posted-just couldn't keep my eyes open which is a welcome change!!
I hope you have a great Sunday and that the weather shines on you and your brother's spirit. I didn't know you when he passed so I will go back and read your posts.

I've got to run now or I'll be late for the graduation!!

[helenk579]

AL Detox Time

Meech;849082 wrote: Hi Everyone,

I wasn't going to post or especially do a "new thread" on this. BUT I thought if I do a new thread on my first day of my 6 week detox journey it will make me much more accountable.

My Abstinence CD's and the last of the supps (Kudzu) arrived yesterday. I am not doing any medication so am REALLY hoping the supplements and CD's will be effective enough for me.:fingers:

Yesterday I didn't drink so today is 1st day of Detox Plan & 2nd Day AF. I am hoping to go the full 6 weeks and see if my mind's behaviour has transformed.

I will take it ODAT mostly as thinking right now 6 weeks = 42 days = 1,008 hours....you get the picture. YIKES! I'm going to work on the next 24hours for now.

I took my first pile of vitamins and listened to the "clearing CD". I think I fell asleep and then woke up when he counted down and said open your eyes. "OR maybe I was in deep subconciousness"????? Definitely relaxed.


So I shall report on my progress on this thread. I am hoping it will be one more thing I do in my detox plan to have AF success.

I hope everyone is staying strong and AF.
Meech :l

Thanks you for the post.

[Hippy Chick]

AL Detox Time

Hi Meech. How you doing today? Hope you stuck your fingers in your ears again if that nasty beast has been calling.
I tried to clearing CD last night but I was too tired to listen to it and it was just annoying me, so gave up at the stairs. I wish he would go thru a longer relaxation process. I like concentrating on one section at a time to relax it rather than just group body parts together.
One thing I realised last night when I was falling asleep is that I quite enjoy falling asleep sober. I like those last few minutes of consciousness where I start to drift. I had so many years of being so drunk I just passed out rather than fall asleep. Strange the small things that mean alot when you are actually conscious enough to register them!
Anyway hope you are doing OK and will check in again tomorrow.
Hi HelenK. Come on over to the newbies nest and tell us abit about yourself. Lots of us struggling here and we always welcome newbies.
Hipster