AL Detox Time

[mollyka]

AL Detox Time

Hey Meech, sorry the Nal didn't work, that's a bugger alright! Anyway as you say back to dealing 'head on'.Well done with all the runnin an stuff, that must balance things up a little bit??!!
Molly

[Hippy Chick]

AL Detox Time

Hey Meech.

At least you learnt something from the episode. I really admire you for coming back, admitting what you have done (and learnt) and giving it another go. Please dont stop doing that as I would hate to know you gave up.

Maybe Nal is lilke some anti-depressants. Some dont work for everyone and you might just have to keep trying different meds to see which one works for you. Do you have another appointment with your doctor? They might have another suggestion. What about Antabuse? I know there are horrible side effects of drinking while taking those so that maybe a good deterrant. What about a therapist? They might be able to give you some coping strategies.

Whatever you do, just keep coming back to see us. We miss you when you're not around.

Hipp

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

Hey Meech,
quick hello and want you to know I did read about your weekend. I'm sorry the Nal didn't work the way you thought it would. I agree with HC, either give it more time or change meds. Can you try taking it when you have the craving but work real hard to not give in instead of taking it when you know you'll drink? I don't know, it's all so confusing sometime. I do agree that you need to find some other way to reward yourself for a job well done instead of beer if that is truly your goal-to be AF. If you want to mod, then maybe another med will help with that.
gotta run-working only part of the day as I don't dare leave LM in the house too long or I'll come home to a mountain of almond poop!! :H
:l:h:l

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Hi All,

Yes I really don't want to moderate as I am like many of you - ALL OR NOTHING. I gave it a shot with Naltrexone and I don't know. If I know I may cave I'll take it again. I just don't want to take it daily because it makes me sleepy - I noticed when I only had a couple beers the first time I was feeling fine the next day but really really tuckered. The pharmacist told me it would make me really drousy.
And well last time I took it doesn't count because I was hungover and always fatigued when that happens the next day. I mean if it's going to stop me from drinking great but if I'm going to be totally fatgiued the next day that's only a hair better then a hangover??

I won't take antabuse - scared to death to take that. I use toner on face and mouthwash and I'd hate to accidently have a gruesome reaction when I haven't even drank. No thanks!
:no:

Great alcohol counsellor in town but I know her (daughters go to school together etc....small town) and I REALLY will be uncomfortable. So my support is the great people here! :thanks:

Well I am very sleepy today. This new job is tiring as i work till about midnight then get up at 6am to train. And this girl needs 9 hours sleep and I ain't getting it lately. One more shift tonight and I'm going to sleep in till at least 7:30am tomorrow. I have one last hard workout before the next triathlon on Sunday.

Good thing is the new job keeps me away from AL because I work during the craving hours. And after tonight it's no alcohol until after the race. Hydration and carb loading.

So what's my plan after the race?
Reward = Something fantastic which is NOT Alcohol. Now that's a true reward.

I have to drive 4 1/2 hours to my relatives after the race to pick up my kids. Then head for home the next day so I have to try and eat a big meal (I don't even care if it's fast food) before I arrive at relatives where there is always cold beer, because when I eat I don't crave Alcohol nearly as bad.
Then the next day I'll be back to the restaurant for three more shifts. So if I can stick to my plan Sunday I should have 10 Days AF by the time work is over next week.
It's really just the one day (Sunday night) that's going to be the tricky one.

Hmmmm now I just have to figure out what that non-AL reward will be.....

Hope everyone is feeling a little less glum on this hump day. Take care all and I hope you all have some great sober plans in place for the upcoming weekend. :l:h
Meechie

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Yehaw! Done my shifts for this week and off work till Monday. :yay:

Man was I grumpy and tired yesterday. I think knowing I had yet another shift to do at the new job. But I was sober so that's good.

Tonight we are taking the kids out for sushi and then to a movie. It should be a wonderful family night and completely distracted from AL.

Day off hmmmmmm housework? Yeah I better get at it.

Looks like a thunderboomer is looming this morning hope it blows off so I can get one last swim and bike in this afternoon. Then it's taper till race day.

For now it's laundry, toilets and kitchen floor duties.

Pop in later! :bye:

[Hippy Chick]

AL Detox Time

Hi Meech.

Sounds like you are having a break for a few days like I have. Hope your race went well and you enjoyed your break from work.

My daughters BFF left for England on the weekend and she is talking to her on the internet at the moment balling her eyes out. So I am going to go and be a good mummy to her and give her a cuddle.

So I will catch you again another day.

Hip

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

I'm back. Been very busy with being away, new job and cleaning the house last week like crazy before the in-laws arrived. Why did I work so hard to make the house spotless, when once they left it was a disaster again.

Rainy and cool today. Nice break from the heat so I shall clean up this house and do some fun indoor stuff with the kids. Hopefully the clouds will break up for a nice late afternoon.

Well inthe last 10 days I have drank twice. :upset: Once was 5 beers followed by a bunch of water. Didn't feel to bad physically the next day (thank God I sweitched to water) but I felt terrible for giving into the beast. Another time I had 2 beers and barely choked them down. I didn't take the Nal I just didn't want anymore. Wow I wished that happened all the time. If it did I guess I wouldn't be here right?

So I feel like I am ready to committ to another stretch of AF days. I get a bunch under my belt then I slip. Get back up for a bit, slip again. What I am finding that when the slips start happening more often (once a week) it's only one close step away from being right back to where I was 9 months ago.

So here I am at AF3 and hoping to stay AF until my final triathon of the season the middle of September. That's about 5 weeks. I'm a little scared about posting this. Can I do it? This is a big committment? Will I last? I am almost feeling like deleting this paragraph so that I don't have to be responsible for such a big AF Goal.

However I have done it already this year. Did 6 weeks! I should be wiser and smarter going into this one right? I don't really want to take the Nal because it makes me so drousy the next day. And out of the 3 times I took it, it failed miserably once. Perhaps I need to give it a bigger chance. OR perhaps I need to just do it on my own. Oh this is so hard.

And it really shouldn't be at the same time. If I was in intense pain and was told it would all go away if I didn't have a drink, I'd do it in an instant. And if I don't have a drink do I feel intense pain - NO. It's an urge, a frigging craving for me. Nothing is going to hurt if I don't have a drink. Hmmmmm maybe I should put this in my list of affirmations next time I crave. :dunno::question2:

Thanks Papmom and JC for the private messages. :l

Hi Hippy, Molly and everyone else. Hope you have had some great sober days while I was off MWO. :l

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

meech im here no internet posting from phone PIA!! will catch u 2morrow when i'm back online hugs pam

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

Hoo boy Meech, reading that post from last nite anyone would have thought I was drunk!! Nope, just a very slow connection and a phone not really made to post or surf the web.
RE: 5 weeks. You can do it if you really want to-you've done it before. I'm just wondering how much you really want to be totally AF? I think you really really want to mod, right? Why don't you try that? Use the nal if you think it will help or if not, something else maybe? See if you can use the discipline you use for your triatholon training and give yourself a limit of 2 drinks a nite. My guess is that your brain chemistry will say "MORE!! I want MORE!" but I could be wrong. I have been before you know even tho I'm constantly told I think I'm always right :H. Anyway, I think you have to try because for some reason, you haven't gotten to the place where you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you have to be AF and nothing less will be acceptable. I would definitely hang out a bit on the mod list to see how others do it and what tricks they might use to stick to a limit or if they truly are normal drinkers now like RJ.
Anyway, hope your day is fun and cool. Another heatwave here in the NE this week. Bah Humbug!! I want fall to get here!!
:l

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Reward Trigger

Hello All,

Thanks Papmom for the advice. I feel like I want to totally be AF however your words and others suggest possible mod? I must be sending that message. I will definitely look at the moderation threads out there. I don't know. I want to be free of it so bad but then I go and reward myself with something I loathe.

I am realizing more and more through this journey that REWARD is one of my biggest triggers. As I failed last night and had 4 beers because they were left over in the fridge from company last week. Uck. Don't feel too bad today just pissed off at myself once again.
Spent 4 hours gutting my daughter's room and re-organized all the toys in the house so = REWARD with Beer. Damn.

Whenever I do a big accomplishment like a race, clean the house etc..... I always give myself permission or "reward" to poison myself with beer. Then I feel shameful, depressed and hungover the entire next day. I'm really on to this trick and must put in place a healthy reward instead of booze. Because that's really just punishment once the buzz goes away.

:damn:ull I'm tired of this prison. I feel like I'm on the outside getting closer to a sober life but still anchored by the beast. No more AL rewards. I really hate the beast.

Meech

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

New goal

Okay Papmom I am going to perhaps work on a moderation plan and with luck perhaps it will be my next step to abstinence? I know that must sound very strange to many. In the past when I have tried to mod. I never had a plan or any thought in my head except "oh I'll just have a couple".

So I copied this information from Eve's thread in the long term moderator's forum. I'll give it a really good try and if it doesn't work then I'll try the stretch of AF again. I still hope on having many AF days but if I do drink I'll will try to stick to this plan. Oh I am so confused but I guess if I keep trying one day I will come up with something that works for a better healthier more happy way of living. :fingers:


1. Make your plan
We all know how important this is. Make a plan if you are planning on drinking. If you take supps take them on planned drinking occasions. Many studies have shown that L-glut (especially) can reduce cravings.

2. Start with a non - al beverage (especially if it's going to be a long night). At a party I hosted recently I didn't allow myself to have a glass of wine until the food was served. In the past I would have been sipping the minute the guests arrived. We've all heard to drink slow- have a non-al beverage in between. Be prepared for non-al beverages (especially if you are going to someone else's home) as they may not think to offer water/ seltzers etc. in between drinks.

3. Be careful of what images of drinking you allow yourself to see before you take that first or next drink. Rather than picturing the relaxed nice buzz feeling image - concentrate on how you feel the next day - imagine how you look with blood shot eyes or puffy or tired eyes from too little sleep. Remember how you feel, anxious, depressed, possibly humiliated or remorseful.

4. Learn to procrastinate. If you have the urge for that 1st drink and don't want it or the drink that should be your last one and you want another - think to yourself "I'll just sip some water/seltzer, etc. and wait 15 min. Keep trying to wait it out until the urge passes.

5. Use distraction. Get busy with a task, physical activity, or some type of mental pursuit that gets your mind off of drinking. Turn to someone for help! Come to MWO - go to the chat room, call an understanding friend.

6. Picture yourself with a caption underneath your name. I like to put the caption of what an Uncle said to my husband about me once "She should hear herself on a tape recorder when she's been drinking". Not nice - but could work from preventing that first or last drink I shouldn't have.

7. Substitute an image other than alcohol. Picture yourself with a tall glass of seltzer with grenadine and a lime twist.

8. Figure out your triggers and avoid them when able. My trigger is drinking at home.
Not a good idea for me to open a bottle of wine thinking I'll have only one or two at the most as in the past I have failed doing that. I can go out (hubby drives) and have one or two and be fine but the bottle at home doesn't work for me. Record when things haven't worked for you and don't repeat the behavior.

9. Use the ignoring technique. Just as you ignore a child having a temper tantrum so you're not rewarding the bad behavior by giving it attention (even negative attention) ignore the thoughts of having a first or last drink but just repeating ignore, ignore or just say STOP!

10. Learn meditation which can help you control your thoughts. Use a mantra that helps you. A.A. has some good ones and encourages members to use: "One day at a time"
"This too shall pass", "Easy does it", etc.

If all else fails, remember the negative consequences script. This is the one where you must replay in your head those memories of when you yelled at the kids because you were drunk or hungover and wouldn't have done that if you had remained sober, the time you had a fight with your S.O. because alcohol was involved, the time you woke up and couldn't remember what you had done the night before and were embarrassed by what you had said or done to someone, something you did wrong morally because your inhibitions were lowered. Really give yourself the memories before you take that first or last drink and say to yourself Is it worth it?

Hugs,
Eve11

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

:goodjob: Meech!! Lots of good stuff in long term mod thread eh? Although I definitely think you should try to find some other way to reward yourself for a job well done, I think following the suggestions outlined below might work for you IF you follow them to the letter. I think the key to your success will be in what you said:

.....for a better healthier more happy way of living

. That's really the key isn't it?
For me, a healthier, happier way of living doesn't and can't include AL anymore. Between diabetes and possible kidney disease, this is a no brainer. For you, it might mean AL in moderation on an irregular basis. If you use AL as a reward system, then it's just using that system as an excuse to drink because let's face it, we can find an excuse to reward ourselves 24/7 can't we? AL, if it is to be in our lives, must be looked at as a special luxury-one to indulge in moderately every once in a while, not on a daily basis. That's how normies view it and if you can't or won't view it that way, then you're going to have to admit that you are powerless over the beast.
Just some thought running through my head as I do a marathon procrastination session at work. Good luck Meech, and you know I'm always here for you!!
:l

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Thanks Papmom!

That's the thing heh....following it to the letter. Which is what I haven't been doing. So I shall give it a go.

Feeling kind of blue today. Probably the work dreads aren't helping. Not really doing much with the kids because working is looming in my mind - have to leave in an hour. Feel like everything is uphill today. It will be good when I'm home tonight and in my bed with my sober head on the pillow. Blah blah blah.

Tomorrow I don't work, so I will make the most of my day. For myself and my kids and shake off this glum feeling. Sorry to be such a downer.

[papmom3]

AL Detox Time

hey Meech, we all get that way from time to time-you've seen me in the dumps at least once a month!!
Get a good nite's sleep and lets see what tomorrow brings OK?
:l

[Meech]

AL Detox Time

Feeling much better today. I have the whole day off but it's raining again. It sure has been a wet year.

I had a hike planned today to a beautiful alpine lake but my childcare fell through. It's better really because I didn't have a great day with the kids yesterday and I feel guilty (stewing about going to work left me not wanting to do a thing - darn work dreads). Normally I work today but was not put on the schedule - yipee! It's raining too so no fun doing lots of elevation, mileage in wet feet only to NOT see the view at the top because the clouds are too socked in. So no hike today. Suppose to be sunny and hot the rest of the week.

I think it's God's way of saying "Okay I have set up everything just right so that you can have a full fun day with your kids". So that is what I will do today. Thanks God.

Hope everyone has a good day. And for me the AL Beast is not permitted! Kids only zone.