My AF Journey Journal

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Day 18 and 19

I am Happy. Realized that as I was walking the dogs on the Rail Trail tonite. I don't think I've been able to say that for a very long time. I am enjoying the day to day trials and tribulations and dealing with them. I am enjoying the beauty of the season. I am not focusing too much on what I don't have-trying to respect and enjoy what I do have. I don't ever want to be in an AL induced fog again. I am finding different ways to relax and feel good. Thanks Doc!!

The past two days have been busy busy at work but it's all over now and as of 12 noon tomorrow I'm on VACATION!! Yesterday morning I got up at 5:30am and let the boys out. When they came back in, instead of going back to bed for an hour, I harnessed them up and we took a 30 min walk in what was to be the last cool temps for 24 hrs (A heat record was set in my town yesterday, not only for the day itself but for the month!!). Yea me!! Still was late for work tho

Tonite Agility was cancelled so I took the opportunity to take the dogs for a walk/jog on the Rail Trail. Yea me again!! Foot felt great although a little sore afterwards. I will definitely be ready for agility next week!!

I have so many plans and projects for this next week. I'm going to devote a page in my journal to them so I can check them off as I do them. I'm really excited as I know I will be very productive for probably the first time in my life!! There will be NO days spent in bed hungover.

[Hippy Chick]

My AF Journey Journal

Oh Papmom you are just bursting with enthusiam and commitment. Well done, I can really feel it coming from your posts. It's exciting and inspiring. It is so rewarding for me each day to visit with you and Meech and see such progress. Congratulations to both of you - you are slaying the beast.
Had another boring day at work but am not getting that "Friday night feeling"....you know the one.... It's Friday, end of the week, I worked hard, dont have to get up early tomorrow, i know, I'll reward myself by getting shitfaced! Ha.. Some reward......
I did look twice at the vodka bottle my husband so loving bought when he asked if I wanted anything at the bottlo and I replied "yeah a vat of vodka" right in the middle of the crisis my son bought into the house. I was ONLY JOKING.... Still doesnt get the Aussie sense of humour, him being from England.
Gotta go and play 'Mumtaxi".
Enjoy your day/night and talk tomorrow.
HC

[Meech]

My AF Journey Journal

Wow Papmom, Sounds like you are going to have such an energized, fun and productive week off! Little envious of your warm weather still. Although today was much warmer and I even swam in the lake this morning (little brrrrr but not too bad).

Hi Hippy, you sound much better today. Glad things are settling down with the son crisis. And I appreciate your Aussie humor. It's a lot like Canadian humor I think. :H
Although my Mother's ancestory was British and boy could she laugh!

A little annoyed today. One of my clients is not happy with the communication I have had with her. She's been away almost every week, not showed up for group hikes (which I send out notices on a weekly basis that everyone else in the group seems to figure out),
and my life has been turned upside down lately too (show some compassion) AND she's disappointed in me? I swear, as adults we do have to take on some of the responsibility. Can't be holding everyone's hand. AND I can't do a quick private session last minute when I have three children to look after. I need notice!!!

Sorry had to vent. Not sure if it made me feel any better. Grrrrrrr. :durn:

Okay enough about that. I'm so thin skinned and sensitive.

I have to work tonight so AL will be easy to avoid tonight.
Have a great weekend and an especially great week off Pappy!

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Awwww Meech, so sorry you're having a tough time with your client. I swear, it just floors me how so many people think the world revolves around them!! It's this age of instant gratification I guess. You just go and enjoy your famiy get together this weekend (AF of course) and forget about her. You can't please all of the people all of the time so just work on the ones that are worth it.

HC-glad things are settling down with your son and that Friday evening passed with minimal cravings. I think that when we stop putting special tags on certain nights of the week the battle will be half won. I get your Aussie sense of humor BTW-I promise I would NOT have gone out and bought you a bottle of potato crap if you had said that to me. But, he was just trying to support you -the wrong way of course but ya gotta love 'em right?

It's getting very late and I just don't have the energy to do my daily post so I'll have to make it up tomorrow. There was soooo much to catch up on in the Nest and elsewhere!! I don't know if you guys celebrate Memorial Day so if you do have a great one and if you don't, have a great one anyway LOL!! i'll be back tomorrow at some point.

[Hippy Chick]

My AF Journey Journal

Morning. Just listening to the way the girl next door screams at her little boy. He is only about 5 years old and she is young and a single mum. She obviously cant handle life at present as she really lets this kid have it. The things she says to him are just awful and it breaks my heart to hear it. I dont think she gets physical with him but certainly tells him how stupid he is, what a waste of space he is.....so sad. And she is always nasty to me because I let her father know what goes on which she didnt appreciate. I was only thinking of the child.
What does Memorial day commemorate? Alot of people have mentioned it here.
Must be your first day of vacation. Yay.... hope you have a great week off. After working three jobs, I am sure you need it. I've still got three weeks to wait. This will be my first sober vacation and I am actually looking forward to it, not dreading it like I thought I would.
Think I might go and sit in the winter sun while it lasts. Thanks for your support with my son. We are using it as abit of an intervention with a family meeting tomorrow to keep him on the right path and tell him how much he means to us. My parents, who have been a huge part of his life from (before) birth are coming too to show their support. We'll see how it goes.
Take care and I look forward to catching up with you tomorrow.
Hippy

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Hey HC, Memorial Day I guess is just a US holiday. It commemorates all who lost their lives defending our country in many many wars. There are parades in almost every town and city although I prefer the July 4th parades. Most people either use the long weekend as the first once since the holidays to get away and visit family and also it's the first official BBQ weekend!! My family and I will get together tomorrow for Lobsters and other more traditional BBQ items. I'm going to miss the way that wine tastes with Lobster (or 'sters as we call them) but the aftermath of that wine is not worth the first taste so I'll stick to seltzer water with lemon.
Sounds like you have a great plan for your son. I can't even imagine how hard this must be. I know my siblings and I gave our parents a good amount of grey hair but apart from a few minor accidents, we muddled through our teens pretty well. Even my nephews have so far made it through and as far as I can tell are even more mellow than we were (I hope). We were very loved like you love your kids so that helped heaps. I feel bad for the poor kid next door-if he's lucky he will find a site like MWO when he hits rock bottom as an adult and he will as his mom has set the stage for a lifetime of self loathing and low self esteem. Keep doing what you think is right for him and hopefully someone in his family will rescue him before it's too late.
Good luck with the intervention.
:l

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Day 21 (Friday)

I'm doing very well and really looking forward to my week off. I don't have to work at ANY of my 3 jobs!! :happy:

Yesterday was 3 weeks AF and it flew by. My first time I used the drink tracker on this site and I think it made everything slow down. Now I'm just keeping track through this journal but I can see that very soon I'll stop tracking the days as I'm feeling more and more comfortable about an AF life as a choice.
We make many choices in our lives: We choose to eat healthy foods or junk food. We choose to exercise or be a couch potato. We choose to see the good things in our lives or the bad things. Whatever we choose has a profound affect on what happens to us that day and in our future.
For today I choose to eat good healthy fresh foods, to take at least one walk and to see the good things in my life. I choose NOT to booze, to smoke(I quit decades ago but it was still a choice), to watch TV all day.

Yesterday I found out there is a local store that will take the time to fit you for running sneakers and all the staff are runners. I have been doing my agility and light jogging in really crap shoes and knew that eventually they would injure me. I've NEVER been a runner-in High School I had shin splints so bad I had to quit running track and I was supposedly the number 3 hurdler on my team (so the scumbag of a coach said when I quit). Anyway, all my adult life I have been petrified to run/jog because of that early injury. Now however, inspired by "The Biggest Loser" and the marahons the contestants have run the past 2 seasons, and of course my success in Dog Agility, I really want to be able to run at least a mile at some point without pain. So, I splurged and got fitted for $100 shoes and a $44 sports bra. 2 weeks worth of boxed wine folks and those 2 items will last 6 months or more!! I was so excited to try them out that I harnessed up the devil dog when I got home at 7:30 and went up to the track at the local college up the road from me. We jogged two 220s with a 220 walk inbetween for a total of 3/4 of a mile. We also sprinted on the sidewalk to the road. Not sure how far that was. What I do know is that I had a horrible sleep due to bad soreness in my thighs and today I can barely walk. It was worth it tho!! I know the first week or so of the training regimen will be tough but I just have to power through it. The shoes felt great, as did the bra. The shoes definitely corrected most of my pronation-I felt lighter on my feet when running. Now to work on my endurance so I don't feel like I'm going to keel over at the end of the 220!!
It's already 11am and I have done NOTHING but read and post on this site since 8:30am so it's time to get the lead out and get to work on some projects.

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Day 22-My Project List for vacation week

• Clean and organize garden shed
• Weed and mulch garden beds (5/31)
• Weed and plant veggie beds (5/31)
• Clean basement so we can hide during storms!!
• Take one hike a day with dogsawprint:awprint:awprint:awprint:
• Clean house (IP- 1/2 done)
• Do tons of laundry (IP)Start "7 Weeks to Sobriety" eating plan and follow as close as possible (harder and more expensive than I thought-this is a delete)Dig out area for new pond with Nephew's help (almost done!!)Make my special zucchini brownies with zucchini from last year's garden (in freezer shredded). Not part of the eating plan but coworkers will enjoy when I get backClean out 2nd bedroom; install desk system from Freecycle.org that has been sitting in Dining Room for 4 months.Read the rest of my library books before they are overdue!!Make time for rest and relaxation (hard to find the time LOL)

[Meech]

My AF Journey Journal

I am so excited for your days off Papmom!

Running shoes are really the only investment in this sport of running. And the running bra. Nothing worse than bouncing around while your a running.

A good pair of shoes are essential for keeping you off the injury list. Like I tell my runners, "if you think your running shoes might be wron out - GUESS WHAT?? They are and have been for a while. Good for spending money on such a healthy investment rathar than a box of booze! :goodjob:

As for me, I better get my butt in gear too. I have about 5 hours of stuff to do in a 3 hour time frame. Yikes! Have a great day and will hopefully check in tomorrow night when I get back home or Monday!

Hi Hippy! What a loving support network you have. I am sure the intervention will be the right ticket to addressing your son's issues. And being with people who care about him more than anything!

I am going to try and sip on virgin caesars when I get to my families place tonight. It always feels like a real drink and I enjoy it virgin just as much as when there is alcohol in it. I will feel your presence and it will keep me focussed and strong!!!
:l

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Day 23

Very nice day today. Started out with a walk with the boyz on a new rail trail this morning. Forgot to bring bug spray tho so had to turn back after about 15 min. Did manage to jog part of the way back tho.

Spent the rest of the day cleaning part of my house, doing laundry and reading. Then off to my sister's for a family BBQ of Lobsters,steak and shrimp. I brought a yummy fruit tart for dessert. Had a swim in the pool which is now a salt water pool (guess its all the rage now) when I first got there. Very nice. Sipped seltzer all evening. Did give a couple of longing looks at the wine bottle and could taste the dryness of the wine but I held fast and kept reminding myself I can never have just one and I have lots to do tomorrow. Plus, my promise never to drink and drive again. The craving passed fairly quickly and I really enjoyed myself. My poor neice is sick with high temps and probably strep so she wasn't able to join us except for a few bites at dinner. My oldest nephew and his honey graced us with their presence and we had a great time discussing the college he will be attending and some of the classes he'll be taking. How about "911-Fact and Fiction" for a freshman level humanities class? He's sooooo excited and already looking forward to meeting his advisor in the next few weeks. We also regaled them with tales of his grandmother (my mom - who died when he was 4 I think) and our family camping trip across country. they both laughed like good little doobies.

Tomorrow is pond digging and plant dividing day and I can't wait so off to bed for what I hope will be a great nite's sleep.

[Meech]

My AF Journey Journal

Hi Papmom,

I posted a somewhat long chat here last night, then it got lost some how when I submitted. I didn't have the energy or time to start over.

Sounds like a wonderful clear-headed visit with family. Sounds like you are very close with family, nephew. It's fun re-hashing old stories. And the kids always seem to enjoy listening, laughing or shaking their heads at us.

I must say all you enthusiasm is starting to wear off on me. I may even tackle a few things around my house today.

Have a great day in the pond and garden! :l

[techie]

My AF Journey Journal

hi meech i have the same prob when crafting long posts. I find it's better to use another program like MS Word to write your post. You can then simply copy & paste. It avoids that nasty MWO timeout!

Have a great day. you too papmom!!!

[Meech]

My AF Journey Journal

Thanks Techie for the advice. The timeout thing has happened way too many times for me.

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Day 24

Been a long physically hard day. I'm beat right now and it's gorgeous out. Yep, the beast is screaming at me!! I'm filthy and look like crap but that wouldn't have stopped me last summer. After a day like today I would have put on a hat and run to the nearest store for a cold bottle or 2 of wine and then sat out on the deck munching empty calories, getting more and more buzzed until the sun went down. That would pretty much be 4 hours worth of drinking non stop. Today? I'm going to start dinner pretty soon because I'm Hungry and it's time I start eating when I'm hungry, not when I think I should eat. Lots of ice cold water, maybe a seltzer for pizazz.

My day started at 7am when my nephew came over to dig out the hole for the new pond. Yep, he actually was here at 7am!!!:shocked:He spent about 2 hours digging and did a darn good job. Didn't finish but I figured the rest would be easy enough (ha ha). After he left I took 2 of the dogs to the rail trail for a walk/jog. Didn't take the little one as I'm sick of him going crazy barking and lunging at any dog that comes near and I figured there would be tons on the trail today and I was right. The other 2 pretty much ignore other dogs when they're not with loudmouth as long as I give them the quiet command. So, as guilty as I felt for leaving LM at home, it was a very nice relaxing hour on the trail and I got some good jogging in.
Unfortunately I gave in to a junk food craving and stopped at BK for lunch. One thing at a time (OTAT) I guess and I've chosen the exercise for now.

After lunch, of course in the heat of the day, I decided to finish up the pond digging. Almost got myself heat sick but I did it. Spend the rest of the afternoon icing my ankle, reading, watching TV and pretty much vegging with the dogs. Around 4 pm I decided I wanted to check the level one more time and start filling the pond. Checked the level when it was about 1/4 of the way full and it was still perfect. Went inside to clean my filter/pump and when I got back out the pond was filled almost to overflowing and definitely not level anymore!! :upset: Oh well, I'll be filling in the sides and berming them up anyway and hopefully planting around it so maybe it won't be so noticeable. I've got the fountain going now and I'm very excited to finish up the final touches tomorrow and then go SHOPPING!! for water plants.

My back is killing me, I feel like I could go to sleep right now I'm so Tired but it's a good feeling. I am going to take LM for a short walk up at the college when the sun goes down a little more just to make up for leaving him at home this morning.

So I've indentified H and T of H*A*L*T. I'm definitely not Angry or Lonely so I think I can handle the other two and wake up tomorrow ready to go again.

One interesting note. My nephew came in after an hour of digging dying of thirst. I hadn't straightened up the kitchen yet and didn't notice that my copy of "7 weeks to Sobriety" was on the counter. I'm sure he saw it. I wonder if he'll say anything to his mom or dad, wondering why I have that book. I hope he'll ask me about it as I want to be totally honest with him but he probably won't.

Ok, time to defrost the salmon and get the sweet potatoe and asparagus ready to cook. Ahhh, summer!!:sun:

[Meech]

My AF Journey Journal

Wow what a Great day

So I wonder what your 1st day looked like last time you were on holidays? I have a sneaky suspision you got like a billion more things done today. I think your post made me tired. hee hee.

Today was nicest enough weather wise but I am still waiting for you to send some of that heat west?

Yummy supper you have planned. Some of my favorite eats! Enjoy talk to after tomorrow's big day! :l