My AF Journey Journal

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Hi Pie-yes I am on vacation this week. Not looking forward to going back to work on Monday that's for sure. Esp if the weather is cooler than it has been this week!!

[Hippy Chick]

My AF Journey Journal

Morning oopps it's just crossed into afternoon.

Good luck with your agility trials. Is it the dogs or the people who are on trial? Rhode Island? Sounds like something out of the movies. I have a vision of Richard Gear and Diane Lane..... or is that Nights in Rhodante, not Rhode Island!!

Feeling a bit perkier (is that a word?) today. Seen the sun for the first time in 10 days so might have to sit in it and get my vitamin d.

Take care and catch you tomorrow.

hc

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

LOL HC!! Rhode Island is just south of MA and is the smallest state in the US. know nothing about it's involvement in movies!!
We're both on trial LOL!! I direct and hopefully the dog jumps over/goes through, walks across the right obtacles in the right order!!
Meeting today is in central Air on a lake. Yea!! HC, I'll send you all the sunshine you want if you'll send me some cool air.
:l

[Doggygirl]

My AF Journey Journal

P3, I share your issues on the food front. I've been on a really bad stretch lately. I did really good maintaining for a year! Then down the slippery slope I went into carb and sugar land. I'm "turning the page" again today, as they say at WW where I go.

Good luck at the trial tomorrow! The meeting in RI sounds nice too.

DG

[Hippy Chick]

My AF Journey Journal

Sending you a big burst of cool air. Can you make that sunshine arrive in time to me to watch my daughter play soccer so it doesnt rain. Could have used it yesterday when watching my son play footy in the rain..... love kids sports in winter........ NOT

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

OH Hippy-you can have all the sunshine and heat you want!! I'm pretty sick of this hot hot weather. Everything I do makes me sweat bullets but am I losing weight? Not.

Got back late from my agility trial. Got disqualified in my first run for forgetting to take Koby's collar off-otherwise would have Q'd and taken 2nd place. 2nd run I got first place and Q'd so made up for it. Yesterday's meeting was lovely-on a beautiful lake and with awesome VERY healthy grilled food-lots of veggies. OK, the desserts weren't all that healthy LOL!!
Had to make my zucchini brownies when I got home tonite for the office party tomorrow. A year ago I would have downed a bottle of wine when I got home (I'm so tired, hot and I deserve it for working so hard and putting up with all the crap etc), stopped at the supermarket on the way in to work for storebought brownies and pulled the "I got home too late to bake" card. Or, called in sick.

Another great sober day!!

:l

[mollyka]

My AF Journey Journal

Well done Pappy! You did great - doggies and booze - Nice one and delighted you had a nice day as well!!
Molly

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

You meant to say doggies and NO booze-right Molls??? Don't want to give my peeps the wrong idea !!

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Just off the phone with the Nephrologist's secretary. He DOES want to see me. She said because of my age, my numbers do put me in early kidney disease range :upset:. Now I'm back to being scared and overwhelmed. She doesn't know when she can get me in-probably not until October but she's going to try very hard to get me in before my appt with the Nutritionist on Aug 10.
I've been going through a really horrible sugar craving period-I'm eating everything in site that is sweet or starchy and I've gained 3 lbs in a couple of weeks. The hot weather hasn't helped as I haven't been exercising like I should.
I've been really down today as well. Slept horrible last nite and have been very tired all day today, almost like when I was still drinking and would be so fatigued the next day.
I don't want to be at work-it's mind numbing boring. I worked at the front desk during the lunch breaks just to get some human contact.
Things are very bleak today. I just want to go home and crawl into bed or flop on my hammock and pass out after I eat a gallon of ice cream.
I will not drink however. I will get through this AF because AL WILL NOT SOLVE MY PROBLEMS!!! IT WILL CREATE MORE!!!

[Hippy Chick]

My AF Journey Journal

Hi Papmom.
Well done for recognising that AL will NOT fix your problems and in fact will ADD to them. I am sorry to hear of your results. I thought you had turned a corner and was heading in the right direction. Now you are back at the beginning.
Nothing much I can do or say but just know I am thinking of you, sending you lots of cyber hugs and hoping the time goes quickly for you.
PM if you need to.
Hip xxxx

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

Thanks HC. I'm trying not to think about it too much right now. Nothing I can do about it anyway until I see the doc.
I've ordered the natural AD that Lav takes to see if that helps even out my moods a bit. I just want to love life again, not just go through the motions!! I also want to sleep!!! I keep waking up throughout the nite, tossing and turning. It's driving me crazy!! I'm going to be an hour late for work today because of the sleep nite I had.

[Doggygirl]

My AF Journey Journal

P3, I'm sorry to read of the doctor's updated information. It must be so frustrating to have to wait so long for appointments. Hang in there!

For me, sugar is unfortunately a lot like AL. If I get totally off of all sugar and high carb foods for a couple of weeks, then it's much easier. But those couple of weeks can be a B!tch! And I'm currently on the wrong side of the sugar monster myself so I certainly understand! If it's not one dang thing it's another. Why doesn't broccoli taste as good as ice cream? (and I will spank the first person who comes along and says it does! :H)

DG

[papmom3]

My AF Journey Journal

I'll do more than spank that person DG with the mood I'm in today!! Ironically, broccoli is on the forbidden list of foods for the kidney diet, unless it's frozen!! I seriously need some one to tell me why fresh broccoli has more phosphorus in it than flash frozen????? And I happen to love (and grow) broccoli! :upset: But it still doesn't taste better than Rocky Road!!

[Doggygirl]

My AF Journey Journal

Can you send me your brocolli???

I do love broccoli, even though it definitely doesn't taste as good as Rocky Road! I have tried to grow it last year and this, and did not get very good results. This year, the results were not even edible!

I don't know what it is about broccoli either. I am hypothyroid and they suggest cooked is OK but not raw. Same with other cruci....f.... related vegetables.

DG

[Meech]

My AF Journey Journal

Hi Papmom,

Sorry I haven't been around to post lately. So sorry to hear about your news from the Doctor. Early stage, well that's not full blown or late stage. Perhaps this is early enough that things can be reversed and you can make a full recovery. I must google more info on this as I am very uninformed. You are cared for by a lot of people here and we are sending good health vibes your way.

Are you still trying to eat a veggie for every sugary treat? I know you are down in the dumps and to give in to the treats will only make you feel guilty and even more sad. I am so proud of you for remaining strong with your sobriety. THAT IS NUMBER ONE right now. And because you have stayed AF I am sure your body has already begun working at repairing and healing from all the years of drinking.

I truly believe (eventhough this new information feels like you are back at square one) you are so so so much healthier now than you were a few months back when you were drinking. I think you're body is on the mend it's just going to take some time. You are on the right path keep moving forward.

Don't beat yourself up about eating the sweets. Don't worry about your weight right now. If you have a treat - so what. You are not drinking - that's key. If you eat a veggie for every sweet then that's pretty darn good!

You are special to me and to so many people. I hope you can feel better and the heavy weight on you shoulders will lighten up as the weekend approaches.

Please be easy on yourself. You are going through some tough times. I wish I could give you more than a cyber hug but here you go ((( :l )))
:h

Meechie