drink problem?????

[papmom3]

drink problem?????

Wow!! All I can say is I must have a talk with my 18 yo nephew before he leaves for college in the fall. He's drinking now at the local colleges where he has friends who attend. As far as I know he's not drinking and driving (god I hope!!).

I have just realized these past few months that what I was doing in HS, College and as a young adult was bingeing, not "normal" drinking. Of course we all did it but were my friends able to stop right before they went out of control? I have no idea-I was too busy getting out of control!! As I think back to those years and the years since, I can't believe I was never ever pulled over for DUI, never got into an accident, never got raped (but was I ever date raped? Hmmmm-I always thought if I got that drunk I deserved what happened to me), never got AIDS or VD, never ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, the list could go on and on. In the past 2 decades, I stopped socializing and would stay at home to drink where I was safe (but alone-did manage to break a wrist while drinking-family thinks I slipped on ice taking the dogs out for their last potty. Wonder how my dad who took me to the ER, and the nurses/docs missed the booze on my breath). Funny thing is, when I did go out on occassion to dinner with family or co-workers, I never had more than one or 2 glasses of wine. Didn't seem right somehow to get out of control in that situation. Mind games.

Yep, definitely need to have a talk with that young man and come clean with him.

[daybyday]

drink problem?????

An observation I have noticed too Spuddleduck, thanks for bringing this up. I have a new friend that I hike and walk with. She showed up the other day to go hiking and was covered in bruises. Story comes out that she was drinking with some other ladies and they all went walking in the forest in the night knowing she couldn't stand or control her movements anymore. She fell down a small ravine and got all black and blue. The other women were in their 50's and still sober. I was really upset and thought this was bordering on abuse, for them not to have done something. She could have been seriously hurt and it made me realize all the times I'd been black and blue or cut after drinking and not knowing how or why.
You sure do notice a lot more and sometimes in amazement that you actually made it through all this in one piece. Hopefully with the strength it brings each of us, we can go on to extend a hand to the next person in need of a little help too.

[NewOne]

drink problem?????

I realized yesterday that everyone I know who drinks, drinks to excess. I realize that they too awake with waves of panic, shame, and that oh crap I did it again feeling.

Then they will cut back & try to control it, (and they do for a little while) then they end up on another binge & it starts all over again.

It's a loop that goes on forever. And I bet if the truth were known, it effects all drinkers sooner or later.

For some reason, when I realized this, I didn't feel so bad. I didn't feel abnormal, or different, or weak or wrong.

It's the nature of the beast. For not just some of us, but all of us. Some are just able to turn it off quicker I think.

Really....are there any "normal" drinkers? You know, those illusive romanticized people that I so strive to be like? I don't know of any. I think they exist only in my head.

[Doggygirl]

drink problem?????

NewOne, LOL my husband is an all illusive normal drinker. He can drink only ONE. Really. Not one in public and 20 in private like I used to do. One TOTAL. Sometimes he doesn't even finish that one. More often, he has zero. He only drinks on "occassions" and each day is definitely not an "occassion." In fact, in his drinking life I'm guessing there is an average of less than one "occassion" per month.

I can honestly say that I NEVER EVER EVER strived to be *that* kind of drinker. In truth, I didn't WANT to be a normal drinker where drinking is not a big deal and not even all that pleasant. Something I could take or leave like broccoli. What I wanted was to get drunk, but not TOO drunk. And definitely be able to drink without all those pesky consequences. And I wanted to be able to stop just before the point where my hangover would be really bad. I wanted to quit and be sure I would get exactly the minimum amount of sleep needed to function properly the next day. THAT kind of "control" is what I was looking for. I'd rather not drink at all than truly drink "normally" - at least my husband's version of normal!

On recognizing the signs in others.....I am mortified when I think of what was NOT a secret to others when I was drinking......

There is a guy I go to AA with who is really funny. When he talks about anonymity he says "it was anonymous alright. I was the last one to find out what an alcoholic I was."

Good thread.
DG

[spuddleduck]

drink problem?????

ive said to my friends (jokingly) 'thats the kind of thing i would do'. maybe it will make them think a bit about their drinking habits. i didnt get into problems till my mid 30's so who knows when the beast will strike you down. i sometimes wonder if because i didnt do the drinking thing when i was younger and everyone was doing it that when i started 'doing it' it was less acceptable which turned me into a 'secret' drinker.... not that i actually hid it very well (thought i was under the invisible cloak of alcohol... ha)

[KatieB]

drink problem?????

Tip - wow, a bottle of wine a night and she doesnt think that is excessive?! i guess ppl just assume people who are dependent on AL are only the one's that get DUI's or mess up their life in some way.. but even if functioning with drinking that much, it certainly is not good for her liver!!

[KatieB]

drink problem?????

NewOne;852548 wrote: I realized yesterday that everyone I know who drinks, drinks to excess. I realize that they too awake with waves of panic, shame, and that oh crap I did it again feeling.

Then they will cut back & try to control it, (and they do for a little while) then they end up on another binge & it starts all over again.

It's a loop that goes on forever. And I bet if the truth were known, it effects all drinkers sooner or later.

For some reason, when I realized this, I didn't feel so bad. I didn't feel abnormal, or different, or weak or wrong.

It's the nature of the beast. For not just some of us, but all of us. Some are just able to turn it off quicker I think.

Really....are there any "normal" drinkers? You know, those illusive romanticized people that I so strive to be like? I don't know of any. I think they exist only in my head.

Very well said newone.. especially the bit about "normal" drinkers only being in your head.. i think you are very accurate with that one.. AL is addictive, and no-one is immune.. though some ppl luckily try AL once and hate it and never want it again - i wish that was me!!!

[tylyr]

drink problem?????

So many truths here, and we problem drinkers or alcoholics have similar problems. What I really want is to be able to drink as I used to drink - a few glasses of wine, and feel good about it. Unfortunately, I've passed that point, I can't do it. I stop, and control for a while, and for some reason - I deserve a drink/ I haven't had a drink in a while etc etc - I start again. Does the day come when you don't actually desire a drink - or does the battle go on forever? I;d like to know.

My husband is a normal, take it or leave it drinker - he really is. Sometimes a small glass of beer, sometimes nothing at all, and even then only when we go out. I was like that once.

He has no idea that I'm on this site, he has no idea that I'm constantly thinking about drinking. Sad.