i am going away in my caravan again in a few weeks and i want it to be a sober holiday. problem is, like everything else, i see the caravan as somewhere we get roaring drunk. i know that antabuse should be out of your system 14 days before you take a drink so, i found myself this morning, browsing my calendar for the date fourteen days before my holidays so i could stop taking the antabuse SO I COULD DRINK THROUGH THE HOLIDAY! stupid, stupid, stupid. i have a one track mind honestly! i have done so well and i'm enjoying sobriety so why can't i change my mindset? why as soon as i think caravan do i think i must have alcohol? why cant i imagine going there without it. why can i not think onstead of the countryside with my hubby and kids, the barbecue, board and sports games, books, lovely scenery? laughing and joking in the fresh air?
i don't want to stop the antabuse and i'm gonna try not to. as ukblonde said to me a few weeks ago, there'll always be an event or an excuse to drink. nothing is a good reason to poison myself!
damb addict mindset. one track mind!
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