I feel so stupid

[someone_else]

I've been overdoing it, don't feel like I've improved really...been trying some new meditation cds but I don't know if they have kicked in yet - maybe today will be the day. I should just give away the rest of the beer in the house but in a way I want to see if I can resist it, or just have one or two maybe tomorrow. That's kind of weird, isn't it?

[mama bear]

I feel so stupid

GIVE IT AWAY....
why torture yourself???

[wannachange]

I feel so stupid

Get rid of it, down the drain. Not worthed, not even as a challenge.

[rubywillow]

I feel so stupid

Else, it's not the time to test yourself. It's the time, if you really want a change, to make a commitment. Get rid of the AL. Make a plan, ideas for things to do when you might get the heeby-jeebies. You, like each one of us, have to decide what we want the rest of our life to be, and in some ways, how long we want it to be. In my case, I have a lot of very important people who need the real me. But I do this first for me, because if I don't there IS no 'them'. Focus now on getting everything out of your life that can trip you up. And, like your post, ask for help.

[KateH1]

I feel so stupid

Hmmmm...are you sure you are not keeping the beer in case you give in and want it? Sort of like "hiding bottles?". Remember, no matter how many meds you take, how many CD's or books you buy, at the end of the day, you will stop when you "Close and Lock the Doors and Windows to AL"..period! As long as we leave a way back in for AL, whether it is AL itself in the house, or the long list of reasons or excuses we use to drink, Al will get in.

Best Wishes!
Kate

[someone_else]

I feel so stupid

Thanks you all. You're right. As I look back over my numbers the last few months, they have gotten worse, not better. I feel so disgusted. I keep clinging to this hope that I can moderate, but whenever it is around, I overdo it too often. Not every time I drink, but too often. It's true, I've taken supplements, listened to the MWO cd's, read books, etc, and I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere. I just keep resisting the idea of complete abstinence. But it's like a foot in the door.

[rubywillow]

I feel so stupid

Most of us come here with the hope of moderating. But once we're here, and listening to the wisdom of those who have fought the beast, we begin to realize we've put too much importance on our chosen poison. Which is more important to your life? Is it the suffering we get from AL, or the chance of actually living? Make a list: on one side, what does AL give you. On the other, what does it take. There are physical and mental problems with stopping, but we have those WHEN we drink. I'm wishing you the best, but you will have to work for it. The other side can be a beautiful thing.

[someone_else]

I feel so stupid

Maybe the cd is finally kicking in because I feel a new determination. The thought of total abstinence forever seems overwhelming - I know, one day at a time. My friend is coming over to get the rest of the beer later. Hopefully I won't have one of those stupid ideas to buy some later. I bought a case the last couple of times because it was cheaper, but I just drank more...not good.

EOC Institute- EquiSync- Brainwave technology for deep meditation.

I've been listening to the first cd for a couple of weeks and was starting to get discouraged. Hopefully it's starting to work.

[someone_else]

I feel so stupid

Thank you Ruby. Well said. AL hasn't done a whole lot for me that is good.

[rubywillow]

I feel so stupid

I'd also suggest you join a thread here you like. It could be one of the great ones on Just Starting Out, or here on General the Army, Journey, etc. Also check out the AF thread. There are SO many good, caring people here.

[wannachange]

I feel so stupid

someone-else why don't you throw them away and when your friend comes give him/her a cup of tea, I am worried he/she will say "ahhh gwaaan sure just have the one".
Show the strength, the determination and chuck em, block your nose while doing it, it stinks!
I am not anti-alcohol but I have a feeling you are ready for this.

[someone_else]

I feel so stupid

thank you all

Thanks Ruby! I joined last fall but I feel like I'm still starting out. When you joined, did you try to moderate at first?

Thank you wannachange - it will be ok. He's going to come over at 10:00am (I'm in CA and it's 8:30 now) and just grab them. I know I have had a beer that early but it won't happen today! It just seems gross to me at this point. Plus, I have to leave right after that to take my daughter to school.

I'm going to try to check in every day - sometimes I feel like I'm being a bother, but that thought has kept me from keeping in touch when I have felt weak. I appreciate all of your support.

[rubywillow]

I feel so stupid

Oh, Else, if there's a bother around, it's ME! When I'm home, I check in every 5-10 min. Almost like I gave up AL, and now cigs, for this. This place saved my life. Yes, I modded, and was pretty good at it, but it was so much trouble I decided it wasn't worth the effort. SO much easier to just be AL free. Trust me, it is GOOD once you make up your mind. The social effects are not what we expect. Most people don't give a flying rat's butt whether we drink or not, unless they are the people who love us and care about our lives, and want us to be here as long as we can. NOTHING will ever be better than the sunny faces of my little grandchildren, running to me for a hug. And drinking will cost me that, and cost them someone they adore in their lives. Think about what you have to live for, and how important you are to someone (your daughter, right?) So glad you are making good decisions. And she will always be better for them.

[Wilma]

I feel so stupid

New Here

Hi I am new here. Drinking has gotten me into some aweful situations. That leave me feeling remorse, shame, and embarrasment. I have committed to changing my drinking habits, if not completely stopping. I have started counseling, and I am ready to take control of my future. AA is not for me, I a private person with private struggles. I need to just let out my feelings annonymously.:new:

[rubywillow]

I feel so stupid

Wilma, this is the place. People here understand your position. Join in anywhere, you are welcome.