:thanks:i think that is exactly my problem...i start to get over anxious about WD's...then i drink cause i think i have too. how sick. i will drink even when i dont want to, just because of the sick al games my mind plays...then i wake up in the morning and drink again if i dont have to work, just to stop thinking...wow this is messed up...you guys are awesome, you know all the mind games that al brings and the games cant continue if the cheaters are brought out into the light. thanks!
i am currently back up to 1/4 pint vodka plus 2 beers or sometimes more per night....i dont get hangovers mostly, i have ativan for wd's which i take to get to sleep earlier because mix ativan with al and its lights out but still i am scared...yet some part of me enjoys my nightly trip to oblivious...even tho i have the best intentions, once i get 1/2 of the 1/4 pint down its all over and i can no longer stop or slow down much..except to pass out. i spend most of my drinking time here, just searching and searching, looking for an answer that in reality exists only within.....
at one point not long ago i got down to 2 beers per night, and would buy that every day after work....apparently was not enough. darn it all. next thing i know i am buying the 1/4 pints of vodka then adding some beer...i cannot buy in volume as i will drink it and my kids would freak if they see me drink anything at all....frustrated and not sure how to get control....
I am a single mom, i have tons of responsibility, i do pull it off most days, but this monkey on my back is heavy...about 2 years ago i went into hopsital for detox, i was very sick, had no idea it was detox until they told me, then 9 months later i slowly started up again, wanted to be a normal drinkier again and i was for a little bit...started ativan swearing i would never mix it with al and at first i did not but now i do....ativan, plus beer or vodka (cant smell it as well), you get the drift...now it is my nightly theme...drink, plus an ativan and sleep sleep sleep...i just need a thought out plan from some one who is not in the grips of this al thing cause i no longer trust my own thoughts, cause i am in the grips and cannot seem to break free. no one who knows me would ever think....
sorry for the somewhat tipsy rant....xxoo Lion
i am currently back up to 1/4 pint vodka plus 2 beers or sometimes more per night....i dont get hangovers mostly, i have ativan for wd's which i take to get to sleep earlier because mix ativan with al and its lights out but still i am scared...yet some part of me enjoys my nightly trip to oblivious...even tho i have the best intentions, once i get 1/2 of the 1/4 pint down its all over and i can no longer stop or slow down much..except to pass out. i spend most of my drinking time here, just searching and searching, looking for an answer that in reality exists only within.....
at one point not long ago i got down to 2 beers per night, and would buy that every day after work....apparently was not enough. darn it all. next thing i know i am buying the 1/4 pints of vodka then adding some beer...i cannot buy in volume as i will drink it and my kids would freak if they see me drink anything at all....frustrated and not sure how to get control....
I am a single mom, i have tons of responsibility, i do pull it off most days, but this monkey on my back is heavy...about 2 years ago i went into hopsital for detox, i was very sick, had no idea it was detox until they told me, then 9 months later i slowly started up again, wanted to be a normal drinkier again and i was for a little bit...started ativan swearing i would never mix it with al and at first i did not but now i do....ativan, plus beer or vodka (cant smell it as well), you get the drift...now it is my nightly theme...drink, plus an ativan and sleep sleep sleep...i just need a thought out plan from some one who is not in the grips of this al thing cause i no longer trust my own thoughts, cause i am in the grips and cannot seem to break free. no one who knows me would ever think....
sorry for the somewhat tipsy rant....xxoo Lion
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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