Yesterday, I did not drink any alcohol at all. I found myself getting very 'moody' and 'argumentative' towards the evening time, however, no alcohol or nicotine for that matter passed my lips. The results were amazing and I want to share this with you all. My neighbours and I engaged in some lovely chit chat, I was sober and could give a kiss to one of my neighbours proudly as I smelt of perfume and soap and not of beer and fags. A friendly kiss I may add and not a full on snog!!! (ha ha) My what a change!!!! I was given a curry meal which one of my neighbours made and included me in, my it was absolutely beautiful. I chatted and did so much. I removed some boxes and put them in the cellar of my home that have dogged me for as long as I can recall. I made my bed, I just interacted with life. I walked my dogs for 3 hours in total and felt so alive.
Now today I did buy wine, but do you know what? I think I am getting there, I honestly feel no better for doing it. I am not drunk and nor do I wish to get drunk. I thought it would be easy, but it is not. For all of us struggling it is NOT EASY!!!!
Yet it beggars belief why I did this to myself. I went out this morning, very tired actually from a sober nights sleep and the interaction with humans was high, I met some lovely folk. My work is not yet done, but I got wine, like the addicted fool I am, but have you ever felt that sometimes something is running out of steam and it's course has ended? That is where I am at. I liked being sober and in control far better than being drunk. I wanted to share that with you.
I just felt alive, for the first time in years, the smile was genuine, the chat was nothing I was going to feel embarrassed about the next day (if I could remember it!!!). We can do this for if we refuse drink, we welcome life. I know for me I am getting there, join me on my journey for I need you all to realize the errors of our ways. It is not our fault I think we may be predispositioned to do this, but come on, we are all on here for one reason, to share who and what we are and to recover. I am getting there and it is a process.... Good luck ye all..... much love
Now today I did buy wine, but do you know what? I think I am getting there, I honestly feel no better for doing it. I am not drunk and nor do I wish to get drunk. I thought it would be easy, but it is not. For all of us struggling it is NOT EASY!!!!
Yet it beggars belief why I did this to myself. I went out this morning, very tired actually from a sober nights sleep and the interaction with humans was high, I met some lovely folk. My work is not yet done, but I got wine, like the addicted fool I am, but have you ever felt that sometimes something is running out of steam and it's course has ended? That is where I am at. I liked being sober and in control far better than being drunk. I wanted to share that with you.
I just felt alive, for the first time in years, the smile was genuine, the chat was nothing I was going to feel embarrassed about the next day (if I could remember it!!!). We can do this for if we refuse drink, we welcome life. I know for me I am getting there, join me on my journey for I need you all to realize the errors of our ways. It is not our fault I think we may be predispositioned to do this, but come on, we are all on here for one reason, to share who and what we are and to recover. I am getting there and it is a process.... Good luck ye all..... much love
Comment