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[Elizabeth]

Hiya. I haven't been on this site for exactly 1 year and 3 days according to this site! Just the other day I dug up Roberta's book and today I woke up and READ IT. My own credibility and belief in myself has melted close to nothing after slowly declining into the black hole of booze. Having successfully completed 3 1/2 months sober and nicotine free I dived into the deep end and got trashed. Again I returned to sobriety but only for 1/2 months... and so this pattern has continued for the last 4. Each time I have embarrassed myself a little more and taken a big chunk out of my high professional reputation simply through drunken decisions and loss of valuable time and professional deadlines.

Like so many of us I feel incredibly alone and at times like this, wish I lived in a community where help was available. So this time I am taking the bull by the horns. No more compromising. I need as much help, encouragement and SUPPORT as I can possibly find and I in turn am going to be committed the whole way. This time I am going to try Topiramate (my chemist is sourcing it for me) and I will get all the nutritional supplements and follow the schedule. I have faith in God and faith that if I believe and follow the regime properly I will see a permanent change that will let me grasp and reach the life I envision. I can't wait to feel the euphoria and joy of being free... as described in Roberta's book. Here goes.

[mario]

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Hi & welcome back Elizabeth,you have done it before so you no what you have to do,you also know there is lots of encouragement and support here, so get your plan in action and get to your goals,wishing you the best and hope to see you around.:-)

[mama bear]

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welcome back Elizabeth...I love that name.....

[momof3]

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Elizabeth,

Never give up trying. There is much to be learned from relapses. Happy to hear that you are working on a plan. You may also want to consider what, if any, lifestyle changes you need to make, at least for the short-term, to keep you from drinking. For example, I had to remove myself from social situations where Al was being served for awhile.

Check out the toolbox thread in the Monthly Abs section. Lots of good stuff there.

M3

[one2many]

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Elizabeth, I remember you...so glad to see you back...

[rubywillow]

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Elizabeth, we only have to get up one more time than we fall down, in ALL things. Welcome back! You've started off right with the book. Now post on some threads, find some support you can always count on, and in another year and 3 days, you can write your story again, and be a support for someone else!
Rubes

[KateH1]

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Hi, Elizabeth, nice to see you! I think you said it all with the "No More Compromising". That is exactly what it takes!

The multitude of excuses and reasons for slipping are endless to we alcoholics! I also think that each time we allow ourselves to "Slip", we take yet another chunk out of our self esteem. Each time weakens our comittment and resolve and slipping becomes the norm. That rollercoaster of a few days AF and then drinking truly makes achieving the pleasure and benefits of sobriety impossible.

So, Elizbeth Good For YOU!! Your resolve sounds like exactly what you have been searching for! You can and will get this done!

Best Wishes!
x0x Kate

[Elizabeth]

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I think I will keep a journal this time. I have a spiritual diary but a journal for this, I think will help me to recognize things and understand better. It'll also add to my commitment.

[sunshinedaisies]

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Hi Elizabeth - like MB I too like that name (my daughters) - anyway - I am on Topa and have been AF since beginning of Jan so any questions, please feel free to ask. I did follow the schedule in the book. I have had very few side effects - tingling at the beginning - the odd Topa Dopa moment - but that could be age too. I have felt it to be wonderful for me. Welcome back and you know that you can do it!!

sunshinedaisies

[Cinders]

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Elizabeth,

It is absolutely wonderful to see you back on here.

I am sorry you ended up in the abyss again but you can climb out. Your faith will help you. Use it. Daily. Several times a day.

I have difficulty with faith and know it is one of my biggest stumbling blocks. I am working on it, though. I know I am the one who turned my back on my faith and have glimmers of hope that I am finding my way back again.

I hope the Topa works for you. It has helped so many. Hopefully those who have had success with it will chime in.

Take heart. I go to AA and have many friends there who have a chest full of white chips (for the restarts) and today they are sober and have been for many years. This gives me hope, too.

Please check in with us when you can and call for help when you need someone to talk to either by posting or by chat. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of distraction to get us through those "moments."

Love,
Cindi

[Lavande]

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Hi Elizabeth,

Welcome back to MWO, you know this is a good place!

When I made my plan I VOWED to never buy AL again & I haven't! I made a serious commitment to quit drinking immediately. I didn't want all the stops & starts that seem to plague so many people.

Wishing you the very best!
Lav