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    #1

    How to stay focused? | Struggling

    Hey guyz, just posted this in the daily AF thread but was thinking I might get some more/quicker response here.

    The thought crossed my mind today that I cannot see myself staying AF for the rest of my life. I don't even know how to make it through another couple of months to make it to 6mths. I just realised I need to start focusing on the daily challenge again. ODAT. The thought of making it for much longer seems daunting. I don't know how. I've struggled quite a bit more then usual today. How many times more untill I give in?!
    God help me, cause I don't know how. Today I was thinking, I just feel like getting wasted, drink some booze, smoke some pot or whatever the hell will get me away from this place (I was feeling a bit depressed today too.)

    How to stay positively focused on the near future and not lose hope?!!!
    AF since 15th March 2010

    The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.
    Tags: None
    #2
    How to stay focused? | Struggling

    johnny,

    Just for today try not to think to far a head. Just for today keep the thought that you will not drink today.
    There are still days that I have to take it ODAT. It will get easier, promise.

    J x
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment

      #3
      How to stay focused? | Struggling

      Johnny, it never worked for me to think too far in advance. This day, this hour, this moment, I will find a way to be sober. There are many, many tools available here, and you can jump on to an active thread and ask for help NOW!! Do it. These wonderful peeps will be here for you.
      sigpic
      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

      Comment

        #4
        How to stay focused? | Struggling

        Johnny, ODAT. Or one hour or minute. This does come up.

        Are there any external circumstances, situations, anniversaries that are triggering this? Sometimes it's something unconscious (for me things like approaching birthdate or death date of a maybe long departed loved one). HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. That's usually a kind of immediate one, but right around Christmas I had a very intense feeling of wanting to drink. Analyzing it, it was some repressed anger and loneliness. It wasn't a one hour thing, it was around for a couple weeks. But angry and lonely. Yup.

        Also milestones in our sobriety seem to be common relapse times (I hear this in AA all the time). I have no idea why, but knowing that helps me stay armed to make it through the day, should it come up. Some days I'm saying my serenity prayer over and over, but it works. There's a reason AA stresses prayer - it helps. If I get through any given minute, I can get through any hour and then day.

        I don't know if you use any supplements, but if so I up them at those times, make sure I'm eating good (a bad diet has a huge effect on my moods), get some exercise if I haven't been. Basically go back to the old Tool Box.

        I'm over 9 months AF, and I try never to think about forever. I try to focus on the positives that have come about, rather than deprivation. I remember how crappy drinking really was - a short amount of ecstasy and a then long day of yuck afterwards.

        Take care. :h
        ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

        AUGUST 9, 2009

        Comment

          #5
          How to stay focused? | Struggling

          ODAT Hope and Faith in yourself

          Hi JohnnyH,

          I just wrote you a huge post of encouragement and got booted out. :durn:

          Don't have time to do it again. Sorry.

          Long story short - How long have you been AF?

          I started a 6 week AF Detox on May 4th.
          As for going AF the rest of my life - wow very daunting. 6 weeks seems overwhelming right now. ODAT is the best course for right now. I know it may seem exhausting. Phew got through yesterday but now I have to put the armour on and fight hard AGAIN today. when does it ever end? Wouldn't it just be easier on my mind and emotions if I just got drunk, just today. BUT THINK OF THE REGRETS TOMORROW MORNING. And 100% guaranteed regrets you will have.

          HOPE - I like to think that this first stage of AF is the hardest. I hope and believe that eventually we will have a solid AF routine so that the cravings are NOT so strong and so constant (day in and day out).I am on day 18 and have some really hard craving days about every 4 days. I truly beilieve the hypnotic CD's and supps (from MWO) have made a HUGE difference in my ability to block out the AL BEAST. In the past any AF stretch I have done I have had strong cravings every single day. Relentless!!!! Now it's a couple of times a week. So much better.

          Also posting a AF 6 Week Detox thread where I journal my experience each day helps to keep me accountable. I know I have some incredible people here checking in on me daily and I don't want to let them or myself down.

          I would hate to have to post on my AF Detox journal that I failed.

          No regrets today and no regrets when you wake up tomorrow morning JohnnyH.
          Hope this helps. Looky here I still managed to ramble on the second time through.:H

          Comment

            #6
            How to stay focused? | Struggling

            Hi Johnny. Here's a couple lines from the poem you said you found encouraging:

            If you can fill the unforgiving minute
            With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

            To me this means take each minute and fill it with what matters in the long run, the moment you take a drink it becomes the unforgiving minute.

            Everyone has given you great thoughts. Stay focused on your goals or make new ones if you need to. Now might be a good time to pick up a hobby if you don't have one. Music, painting, writing, fishing, woodwork, the possibilities are endless. Stay strong. )

            Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


            St. Francis of Assisi

            Comment

              #7
              How to stay focused? | Struggling

              Hey guys,

              Thanks for the posts.I really, really appreciate it.

              Dancelot, Interesting thoughts, actually now that you mention it I remember this crossed my mind this morning and I think triggered this.

              It was around this stage last year (a little further down the line), that I relapsed after 3-4months AF. I'm getting nearer to the time now and the thought crossed my mind this morning. Than I thought how easy it just was to give in then and how easy it would be to give in again. Just a couple of drinks tonight. Then I thank God, realised how miserable I would be feeling tomorrow, knowing I had thrown it all away for one night away from it all.

              I'm still realatively early into my recovery and am at about 69 days or so, so just over the 2 months marker a couple of days ago.

              Thanks Rubs and JC. I know better than getting ahead of myself. But once a train of thought starts its so difficult to stop it sometime.

              I'm intending hanging around the board tonight. IT is hugely encouraging for me!!!

              Thanks Ceders, I do love that poem. I've been keeping incredibly busy and it has helped so well untill now. I just really had the blues this morning, Had a fall out with my wife too, another one btw just a half hour ago or so. Just can't run away from those situations unfortunately.

              Thanks Meech for your post!!! As I said, the regrets the next morning is the thing that's really keeping me on path at the moment. But i'm holding on by my teeth.
              AF since 15th March 2010

              The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

              Comment

                #8
                How to stay focused? | Struggling

                Johnny - Our minds are so tricky! My two AF stints in my adult life were 8 months and 10 months. I know those thoughts were creeping in just a little around the 8 month mark, and I'm about 9 1/2 now. I think we wonder if that's our limit or something (somewhere in our little heads). Gotta make sure I keep the Tool Box and other stuff close at hand and prove that little doubting part of me wrong.

                Many times we're so unsure of how to deal any obstacles in our life, because so many times we just drank instead of dealt with them. I think we make them bigger and fear them more because they are unknowns.

                Definitely stay close to here - it does help!
                ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

                AUGUST 9, 2009

                Comment

                  #9
                  How to stay focused? | Struggling

                  dancelot;863902 wrote: Johnny - Our minds are so tricky! My two AF stints in my adult life were 8 months and 10 months. I know those thoughts were creeping in just a little around the 8 month mark, and I'm about 9 1/2 now. I think we wonder if that's our limit or something (somewhere in our little heads). Gotta make sure I keep the Tool Box and other stuff close at hand and prove that little doubting part of me wrong.

                  Many times we're so unsure of how to deal any obstacles in our life, because so many times we just drank instead of dealt with them. I think we make them bigger and fear them more because they are unknowns.

                  Definitely stay close to here - it does help!
                  Yeah. That darn mind of mine. It keeps playing trix! Especially when you just think you're getting into a comfort zone, it all happens again and worse.

                  BTW, you asked about supplements. I took Antabuse for quire a while which helped greatly as there just wasn't an option to drink. Considering going on it again for a while just to havbe that extra bit of cushioning. Tight on budget tho so will have to wait for pay cheque end of the month.
                  AF since 15th March 2010

                  The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    How to stay focused? | Struggling

                    johnnyh;863910 wrote: Yeah. That darn mind of mine. It keeps playing trix! Especially when you just think you're getting into a comfort zone, it all happens again and worse.

                    BTW, you asked about supplements. I took Antabuse for quire a while which helped greatly as there just wasn't an option to drink. Considering going on it again for a while just to havbe that extra bit of cushioning. Tight on budget tho so will have to wait for pay cheque end of the month.
                    Probably a good idea. I hear of people who keep it around or carry it on vacation or whatever ( a lot of people seem to "slip up" when they're on vacation). I always keep my options open, and you can never be over prepared in my opinion.

                    The good news is, the comfort zones do get longer and longer, situations that might have been risky get less and less so. Finding ways over the bumps in the road makes them smaller and smaller. That first real test I had was scary. I was so caught off guard. I think knowing these things can and will come up, but that I can find ways to face and overcome them will ultimately make them easier. Life is never perfect anyway. We can learn better ways to deal with it is all. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps - they still count and are a far easier way to deal with things and they keep adding up.
                    ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

                    AUGUST 9, 2009

                    Comment

                      #11
                      How to stay focused? | Struggling

                      Just checking in again to see how JohnnyH is doing. Sounds like you made it through. :goodjob:

                      Dancelot - I will hang on to what you said. I will try to understand and believe that the hard days will start to be fewer, and the comfort zones get longer. This first stage is tough so knowing if we can get through it we get stronger each day.
                      :thanks:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        How to stay focused? | Struggling

                        Hey,

                        Thanks Meech!! Yeah. Had a much, much better day! I guess ones just gotta make it through those type of days.

                        Woke up on the right side of the bed, beautiful sunny day. Got some good MWO time in in the morning and had a stunner of a day otherwise.

                        Went to a 21st Birthday party tonight (family friend's daughter) and stayed clean. So, so glad i'm not drinking!!!

                        How are you doing Meech?

                        I just find it encouraging to see that after a bad day like yesterday (and it was by far the worst in a couple of weeks) I can have such a good day again. You really got to take it ODAT I guess.
                        AF since 15th March 2010

                        The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          How to stay focused? | Struggling

                          wow...you guys are amazing.......
                          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                          Live in the Solution....not the problem

                          Comment

                            #14
                            How to stay focused? | Struggling

                            Hi guys,

                            Struggling right now. Feeling blue and desparate for a cold beer. :durn:

                            Trying hard to fight off cravings. AL Beast is using everything he's got right now.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              How to stay focused? | Struggling

                              Meech distract yourself with some type of activity. Stay here with us if that's best but don't f' ing drink I listened to you and others and WE ALL KNOW THAT DOSEN"T WORK FOR US. It will get beeter once you move through this emotional state. PLEASE!?
                              Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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