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    #1

    Drunken Horrible Things Said??

    I am listening to Joy Behar on CNN right now.

    They are talking about some celebs that have said horrible things, such as used the "N" word, apparently, something that I can't stand.

    Their attitude is that if you are really drunk or really doped up on drugs, you are just saying what you truly think.

    I don't believe this. At all. I have said things to my husband of almost 35 years drunk that I don't mean, i don't believe and I don't feel.

    I think when we are drunk we do and say things we would simply do not believe. Drunk or sober.

    Drunk, we just say shite (as my UK friends say.)

    I don't mean to be the start of a flaying thread. I mean this as part of the reality of being a drunk.

    I have apparently said and done things drunk that I cannot think is okay. But I said them.

    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016
    Tags: None
    #2
    Drunken Horrible Things Said??

    I completly agree with you. My whole current situation is a perfect example of that. I was so far in the bottle and depressed that my mind created a distorted reality.
    Sober since 4/8/10 -OVER 150 DAYS AND GOING AF!!!!

    Get busy livin or get busy dyin-Duane Peters
    No more bad future-Skull Skates

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      #3
      Drunken Horrible Things Said??

      I'm with U. I totally agree. My main reason to become al free is simply that. I do act differently under the influence of al and do say things that are not true and inaccurate. I dont want to be like that any more. I want to be me......:thanks: not someone who is al driven.

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        #4
        Drunken Horrible Things Said??

        Not sure Cinders, I have been examinin my conscience here for the last few mins and I think I can say I never said anything drunk that I wouldn't have meant (not necessarily said) sober. I was quite a lighthearted drunk, so didn't much get into confrontation etc. but usually any drunken rantings came from my heart. That's only me of course, actually my husband does talk bollox a lot, but still not necessarily opinions that aren't his deep down, just possibly a bit more UnPC cos inhibitions are gone?! If he for instance used the N word no matter HOW much booze he had consumed I would be absolutely horrified cos that would not be 'in' him if you know what I mean. I think I do believe the saying ' in vino veritas'!
        Molly
        Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
        contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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          #5
          Drunken Horrible Things Said??

          I agree Cinders, I have said and done things that screwed up a perfect life - thank god for second chances, for certain I won't be doing it again

          Comment

            #6
            Drunken Horrible Things Said??

            You meant what you said; You always have something to say, so just get over it and do not say it. Otherwise, sober up and realise that your words actually HURT people. They have hurt me for no reason because you do not know me, but you certainly put your two bits in and your two bits are wrong.

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              #7
              Drunken Horrible Things Said??

              I certainly have said hurtful things before while drinking that i wouldn't say if sober,But now while alcohol free i can say things much more powerful and strong and getting my opinion across without being offensive and it actually feels good to do so.


              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                #8
                Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                Ouch...yougoit..not nice
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                  #9
                  Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                  cinders, i have said dreadful things to my husband whilst drunk.

                  like" i think we should split up."

                  WHAT????

                  i would never say that . i cherish my marriage, i adore my husband, without him i'd crumble. those feeling are neither in my heart nor my head. i had some grovelling to do after that night because words like that cannot be taken back and they do untold damage. so, looking back, i think i was just attention seeking whilst drunk. it's the only explanation.

                  so yes, i KNOW we can talk utter shite when plastered, things that wouldn't even enter our heads sober!

                  sometimes we speak the truth whilst drunk. but its always with added dramas and slurrings.

                  alcohol can twist our minds and say brutal things we don't think or feel.
                  The mind will intellectualize it, the heart will emotionalize it, yet the gut never lies.

                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9/girly-wirly-s-toolbox-2-45452.html

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                    #10
                    Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                    Yeah Cinders,

                    Can't believe that either.

                    Allthough I think I sound very convincing when I'm drunk. :-)

                    No, seriously. The things I 've thrown at my wife and others when I've been drunk. I rather think that for me, when I'm drunk, I say the things that I think might offend someone most. It might not be my opinion but I know i'm getting the attention I want.
                    This will probably be so diffrent with other ppl though.
                    AF since 15th March 2010

                    The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

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                      #11
                      Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                      We become a horrible distorted image of our darkest side, with no grasp on reality. That is the true result of alchol, the ultimate 'high' we are not expecting and find hard to believe. To be able to spew filth and lies with abandon is NOT just our real mind unrestricted. It is another person, one we would not know and probably run away from. I cringe when I realize, or have repeated to me, some things I've done, but I have to own them because my adiction fueled them.
                      sigpic
                      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                        #12
                        Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                        Their attitude is that if you are really drunk or really doped up on drugs, you are just saying what you truly think.

                        I would have to agree.

                        From the moment I wake up I'm faced with choices to make and thoughts that dictate those choices. God only knows how many thoughts I have a day; and some, certainly, are not pleasant. But those thoughts don't make me who I am. The problem with us perfectionist types is that we deny ourselves the space for thoughts we consider not a part of our personalities. But if you deny them where do they go? They hang around like bad smells in our unconscious minds waiting for the entheogen alcohol to set them free. So instead of allowing the thought to come into our head and simply acknowledge it and let it go. We tend to deny them and push them away. "You're not getting in here! This is not who I am!" kind of attitude.

                        Thoughts are just thoughts at the end of the day. Alcohol allowed me to bring forth those thoughts during black outs and to make them seem real.

                        An example. A friend of mine way back had a really attractive girlfriend. She was beautiful in many ways. Did the thought cross my mind of engaging in a sexual act with her? Of course it did. Would I act on that thought. Of course not, it would be morally wrong for me to do so. So I see it as it's OK to have these thoughts because a lot of the time they're automatic. The problem arose for me when alcohol got involved is that these thoughts became vocalised as a reality. The thought transcended from being just a thought to suddenly being catapulted into a fourth dimension know as "Phil's World!!!" That world was FULL of crazy thoughts so no doubt I was bleeding mad as a hatter when I was blacked out.

                        A friend said to me last night "Phil, if you generally feel like a shit-house, it's probably because you're behaving like a shit-house". Great words of advice. Don't no why I wrote that really? lol

                        I guess what I'm trying to say is that thoughts don't matter one bit really. WE place too much importance on the thoughts and opinions of others and especially those who are drunk or high. Look at the forum when someone makes a drunken post or is deemed obnoxious etc. How much feedback does it normally attract?

                        Many Blessings
                        Phil
                        "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                        Clean and sober 25th January 2009

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                          I don't mean to make light of your thread, Cindi, but it reminded me of something Bill Cosby said in one of his routines. He was talking about drugs, cocaine in particular. He said he asked somebody what was so great about it. The guy said "It intensifies your personality." and Bill Cosby said "Yeah, but what if you're an asshole?"

                          I think obviously alcohol affects different people in different ways. For some it may bring out the best or worst in them, in others it brings out a totally different person, the devil perhaps.

                          Interesting.
                          _______________
                          NF since June 1, 2008
                          AF since September 28, 2008
                          DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                          _____________
                          :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                          5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                          _______________
                          The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                            Hi All
                            It seems to me AL intensifies our own feelings and makes us more self centered as we indulge ourselves in whatever we are doing while under the influence. We lose our sensitivity to other peoples feelings and our manners, learnt since childhood, can be abandoned. Therefore what is said can be cruel, hurtful, over stated, exaggerated, etc... I think it is better to abandon AL than to hurt others while under its influence - especially our friends and family that we need and love.
                            Heres to a better future being AL free.
                            Hazeleyes
                            Allen Carr’s book changed everything for me. The easyway to control alcohol. Highly recommended

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Drunken Horrible Things Said??

                              I agree with Cindi. I have definitely said many things I did not think or believe, or even feel at the moment I said it.

                              Maybe I say these things to express other emotions I am feeling that are exaggerated, and to get the point across: What I do is lie (which means saying things I do not think or believe, or even feel)

                              The lies are spontaneous because I am drunk, but I still know they are lies.

                              The next day I never think, "well, I'm glad I finally got that out."

                              I always think "why would I say such a hurtful thing when it's not how I feel (or felt) at all?"

                              I do believe we have responsibility for what we do and say, even when drunk, but I also think it is unfair (and in my case utterly untrue) that drinking makes me say what I really feel deep down.
                              Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                              Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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