What is Willpower?

[beatle]

What is Willpower?

Another thought.

There is an approach towards alcoholics that has gained popularity called "Tough Love". The basis of this, as I understand it, is that an alcoholic or other addict can and will change their "ways" if given an ultimatum that the ones they love will cut them off until they do (change their ways).

I have been the victim of this approach. It had the opposite effect of what was intended. But I'll save that for another thread.

My point of this is that the premise of "tough love" is that addicts CAN stop, if only they exert their willpower... which is based on the concept that addicts are not exercising their willpower (or not enough), hence they are weak and unwilling to make a change.

What if all they want is to make a change and they put all their heart and soul and time and energy into changing... and it still doesn't work... not quite, anyway?

Is this a person without willpower?

[ThisWayOut]

What is Willpower?

There very well may be a different kinds of Will Power. I tam thinking this is the case because many/most folks with drinking problems are also people that have great strength and will of power in other areas of there life. People that are intelligent, driven and successful with great will power in general. But, addiction(s) could require a special type of will power (or perhaps something different entirely). I first was thinking about this after reading Alan Carrs book where he points out in so many words that shear force of will power cannot keep you from drinking or if it does you will experience the ongoing misery of constantly exerting general will power to combat the desire. So perhaps some thing else comes into play; either a more specialized form of will power or no will power at all (e.g eliminating the desire - either naturally using mind power, or artificiality using pharmacology) I have been around alcoholics (including myself) all my life and have read quite a bit about the subject and I honestly do not think anyone has figured out exactly the physiological, psychological, and theological aspects of AL addictions and addictions in general. I know many experts / authors / programs claim they have, but still...don't think the science is quite there yet. The alcoholics I knew/know were/are probably in the top 10% percentile in terms of strength of general will - will power. Yet they struggled disproportion-ally with the use of this same general will power to remain sober. So, I believe there is something else going on that is not yet fully understood. Either a specialized form or will power is required or none at all. I my case, the times that I have been most successful not drinking will power did not seem to come into play, rather [somehow] the desire to drink left me - and no will power was required at all. A change in thinking yes - but no will power. Just another opinion / thought on this complex subject.

Peace, TWO

[daybyday]

What is Willpower?

beatle;871736 wrote: Another thought.

There is an approach towards alcoholics that has gained popularity called "Tough Love". The basis of this, as I understand it, is that an alcoholic or other addict can and will change their "ways" if given an ultimatum that the ones they love will cut them off until they do (change their ways).

I have been the victim of this approach. It had the opposite effect of what was intended. But I'll save that for another thread.

My point of this is that the premise of "tough love" is that addicts CAN stop, if only they exert their willpower... which is based on the concept that addicts are not exercising their willpower (or not enough), hence they are weak and unwilling to make a change.

What if all they want is to make a change and they put all their heart and soul and time and energy into changing... and it still doesn't work... not quite, anyway?

Is this a person without willpower?

Maybe the approach of "Tough Love" has more to do with the age of the addict? Trying to get my son off drugs many years ago someone advised using this approach. The person advised that once the addicts were over a certain age the statistics of recovery got worse and worse. Using "tough love" on my 20 year old son was successful but would it work today, now that he's 30? I think 10 more years of abusing his body and mind would have made this a lot less successful. Just a thought.

[Guest]

What is Willpower?

ThisWayOut;872014 wrote: There very well may be a different kinds of Will Power. I tam thinking this is the case because many/most folks with drinking problems are also people that have great strength and will of power in other areas of there life. People that are intelligent, driven and successful with great will power in general. But, addiction(s) could require a special type of will power (or perhaps something different entirely). I first was thinking about this after reading Alan Carrs book where he points out in so many words that shear force of will power cannot keep you from drinking or if it does you will experience the ongoing misery of constantly exerting general will power to combat the desire. So perhaps some thing else comes into play; either a more specialized form of will power or no will power at all (e.g eliminating the desire - either naturally using mind power, or artificiality using pharmacology) I have been around alcoholics (including myself) all my life and have read quite a bit about the subject and I honestly do not think anyone has figured out exactly the physiological, psychological, and theological aspects of AL addictions and addictions in general. I know many experts / authors / programs claim they have, but still...don't think the science is quite there yet. The alcoholics I knew/know were/are probably in the top 10% percentile in terms of strength of general will - will power. Yet they struggled disproportion-ally with the use of this same general will power to remain sober. So, I believe there is something else going on that is not yet fully understood. Either a specialized form or will power is required or none at all. I my case, the times that I have been most successful not drinking will power did not seem to come into play, rather [somehow] the desire to drink left me - and no will power was required at all. A change in thinking yes - but no will power. Just another opinion / thought on this complex subject.

Peace, TWO

This is exactly my experience. I used sheer willpower 4 years ago and was dry for 3 months, then 3 months again in a 'whiteknuckle' sobriety. It was awful I couldn't think properly and was dying for a drink most of the time. This time I merely had to accept things were so bad I couldn't bear it anymore and that I had to change things. Wasn't easy but it has turned out easier than drinking.

[one2many]

What is Willpower?

chillgirl;871666 wrote: I love this topic!

For me willpower means the power of your will, your will being what you want and therefore the power behind this being how much you want it. I think its also hugely to do with attiitude and how you use your mind which is just a tool we are given to help us live our lives. Some of us choose to ignore the power our mind has, in doing so convince themselves they have low willpower. I dont believe any of our wills are different as beautifully put in this quote:-

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't.
It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."

To say "i have no will power" is an excuse most of us like to use when we are unwilling to do something or to put in the required effort to achieve it. The old phrase "where there is a will, there is a way" is so true, many people who believed they had no will power when faced with adversity suddenly find the strength to overcome great challenges.

My will power is no different from anyones but the Q I ask myself if I want to change something in my life is "how badly do I want this?" If deep down there are still reasons Im holding onto something then thats a separate issue... its not my will-power that will let me down, its my inability to face up to my truth.....

"if you think you can, or you think you cant, you're right!!"

Amen!! Love it.

[Doggygirl]

What is Willpower?

Beatle, we can always count on you for interesting and thought provoking posts! Just wanted to say I've enjoyed everyones comments.

I know that for me, the desire to stop drinking by itself was not enough. Will power was not enough. I can't explain it really, but am grateful that I no longer have the compulsion to drink that could not be denied for so long.

DG

[ready2change]

What is Willpower?

Here is an interesting article on willpower. It pertains to hypnosis, but has some interesting thoughts
on the subject of willpower.

The Myth of Willpower

R2C