I am struggling to stay AF

[sweet pea]

Hi, everybody,
I first logged on March 29th and bought the book and tapes and Kudzu and gave it a short try to go AF, been wanting to for a long time. I acknowledged my desire to be sober and my problem drinking on the forum. I only drank wine. My husband prefers that I drink, because he, too, loves wine and because I am IRRITABLE when I don't.
I feel very irritable at night and like I have a sharp edge, like I can't smile and relax, like I have to furrow my brow. Pictures of me at a family reunion over the memorial day weekend showed me looking tense and unhappy, even though I was trying to have fun. I have been AF through my own resolve since May 13th. What do you do to relax and enjoy life when there is no alcohol to take the edge off at night?????? gratefully, sweet pea

[Guest]

I am struggling to stay AF

It seems as if you need to discharge the static build-up. If you were a car I'd suggest a leather strap from the bumper to the road...just kidding, but you'll get the point. Maybe some physical activity would help...table tennis, shooting a hoop, tearing out some weeds, chopping wood? Watch funnies on TV, bake some scones?
When do you feel least irritable? Do you know why and can you get into the same place at will?
Good luck...I'd like to know how you're getting on because I'm on day five and feeling very mellow and not a little chuffed with myself for having dumped the grog so easily.

[more2life]

I am struggling to stay AF

You embrace waking up without a hangover.

[dizilizid]

I am struggling to stay AF

Hi sweet pea. Just want to find out what happens when you do drink. Do you get violent, or out of hand etc, or not really. Cause you say your husband wants you to drink, but with me, noone wants me to drink. Because i become the devil. No exaggerations. I literally become someone else, and that person is evil and very dangerous and unloving. I get the feeling you're not that bad. But if you feel like you want to stop, then you need to change your mindset, and also, if you really want to stop for you, then that should make the moods you have easier. Cause for me, i find i wish i didn't hav a drinkin problem, so i feel deprived of it, so i too must see a AF life as a good thing, and not as somethin i'm bein denied. If you get what i'm saying. Anyway, Hava good day. Hope this helped a bit.

[hazeleyes]

I am struggling to stay AF

Blue Heeler;877641 wrote: It seems as if you need to discharge the static build-up. If you were a car I'd suggest a leather strap from the bumper to the road...just kidding, .

Blue Heeler you are a riot!

Hi Sweet Pea
Keep reading lots on this site. You will eventually find that many of us are facing the shock of life face on, without anything to numb the pain, or give us artificial courage, or a false sense of relaxation. AL is a poisonous trap that we need to stay well away from. It does not make life better.

It will be a struggle, but the struggle is worth it and it does get easier to relax and enjoy life over time. You need to be kind to your body with lots of exercise, water, good healthy food. You need to rebuild your physical and mental body after abuse through AL use.

There are lots of threads to give you great advice, here.
May I wish you courage for the fight ahead
Hazeleyes

[Doggygirl]

I am struggling to stay AF

What do you do to relax and enjoy life when there is no alcohol to take the edge off at night??????

Cook a nice dinner and include an awesome desert.
Soak in a hot bath.
Try some hot tea in a new flavor and curl up with a book.
Go for a walk.
Play with the dogs.
Watch a movie.
Go exercise.
Work in the garden.
Go to an AA meeting.
Talk to a friend on the phone.
Clean a closet.
Work on a jig saw puzzle.
Sit quietly and realize how much I have in life to be grateful for.

There really is a LOT out there to do rather than drink. I know it doesn't seem that way at first. I thought I would be lost without AL. But nothing could be further from the truth. I was lost WITH AL.

Strength and hope to you in your journey.
DG

[spuddleduck]

I am struggling to stay AF

sweat pea, it takes time. i was very edgy when i first gave up AL. i found i was grinding my teeth and just generally being very on edge all the time. i tried everything to calm myself down and nothing seemed to work. the more AF time i had under my belt the better i felt. the edge went away and i started to feel much much calmer. if you can stay with it for a whil hopefully this will happen for you. your body is used to having alcohol to cope with life and its a big shock to be without. i really think it takes a little time to adjust. keep at it, im sure you will feel better.

[sweet pea]

I am struggling to stay AF

Thank you so much, Sheri. It is very helpful to think of alcohol as a volatile, flammable, psychoactive drug as you describe. I have tried to look at a glass of wine and view it as blood or urine to make it unappealing, but your description might be even better.
I do not think of myself as depressed, but SOMETHING is surely going on that makes me sharp-edged and tense. Thanks for your support. I have NO support in my environment as I am surrounded by people who enjoy drinking, I guess that is part of the problem. I will continue to visit this community. sweet pea

[techie]

I am struggling to stay AF

Hi sweet pea - I can relate to how you're feeling. However, for me it was depression. I was self medicating with the alcohol. It is worth looking into pwrhaps with your Dr.

[gyco]

I am struggling to stay AF

my life

sweet pea;877584 wrote: Hi, everybody,
I first logged on March 29th and bought the book and tapes and Kudzu and gave it a short try to go AF, been wanting to for a long time. I acknowledged my desire to be sober and my problem drinking on the forum. I only drank wine. My husband prefers that I drink, because he, too, loves wine and because I am IRRITABLE when I don't.
I feel very irritable at night and like I have a sharp edge, like I can't smile and relax, like I have to furrow my brow. Pictures of me at a family reunion over the memorial day weekend showed me looking tense and unhappy, even though I was trying to have fun. I have been AF through my own resolve since May 13th. What do you do to relax and enjoy life when there is no alcohol to take the edge off at night?????? gratefully, sweet pea

hi sweets i wrote this morning,i dont come here as much as i use to,but,this illness is about you my friend,it will rip your soul from you,ive been where youve been,it is not fun,40 years of it,not understanding what was rite for me,but always focussing on what others were happy with,you are a GIVER,you will eventually find out youve been givin a life to do the best you can,and my dear that is all we can do,hope it helps gykes

[not tonight]

I am struggling to stay AF

Hi Sweet Pea - I stopped drinking 27 days ago, and I too have experienced tension, frustration, high irritability. This is more than just dieting, alcohol changes your brain chemistry, especially if you abuse it. I found that the supplements really even out my temperament, also I have increased my exercise, which has so many benefits. Additionally I am filling my evenings, which would have previously been spent polishing off as much wine as possible, reading, drawing, in short I have time now for hobbies, which I did not have when drinking. This really helps take the edge off, and now I look forward to the evenings, rather than wonder how I will get through them without wine.

You are doing great, and it is a process!

[sweet pea]

I am struggling to stay AF

Thanks, everybody,
It helps to have support as I don't have any at home. Blue Heeler, you make me laugh and that in and of itself is a great anti-dote. I get irritable mostly when I needed the wine the most, between 5-6 p.m. and 8-9 p.m. Or, when I am at a social event where everybody else is drinking, then I feel irritable! Dizilizid, when I drank wine, I got relaxed and funny and maybe sometimes a bit silly. Without it I remain serious and it is harder to unwind and be funny. Maybe I just need to watch Seinfeld and do some yoga when I feel irritable. Spuddleduck, it is encouraging to think that it will get better and better the more that time passes, as afterall, it has only been 23 days so far. Maybe I won't be so crabby after 90 days. Thanks for the support everybody! sweet pea

[mollyka]

I am struggling to stay AF

Hey Sweetpea, yep can fully relate to what you are saying. I definitely was self-medicating with booze and when I dumped it I was like a tinker, cranky, irritable and particularly around people drinking I was and still am intolerant. I know now tho that I was masking depression which I am now dealing with, I think a lot of alcoholics seem to go hand in hand with depression, don't know which comes first, chicken and eggs stuff
Molly

[Theme2be]

I am struggling to stay AF

Sweet P,

What draws you to pleasure?
What inspires you to tears, naturally?
What comforts you when you feel what you feel?
Where do you like to go to breathe air without the poison?
How does it feel to feel what you have felt before without the misery?

Do you care about your favorite color and how it enhances itself to entertain you when you are under the vile influence?

Do you wonder about all the wonders that are already present awaiting your souls response from the core of whom you really are .

What are your favorite smells? Isn't it wonder filled to be in that moment, rather it baby powder or garlic as a pasta is in the making.

What are your aspirations?
To feel?
Then, your question is answered.
What are your inspirations?
To experinece.
Then, you have answered your question.
What does being in the moment when another is in need and you are sober enough to reach into that persons sufferings and in a realm that originates from your true essence?

Alcohol and the lives it wishes to capture is now arrested. It is under arrest. It is an under achiever. It is a non believer. It is an "it" that is undervalued even while it rears its ugly head.

Fight like there is no tomorrow.

Without "it" there is a better chance there is a tomorrow.

The sun is rising in your honor.

[IAD]

I am struggling to stay AF

Sweet Pea....try the Herbals...Evening Primrose Oil ( good for your disposition) Milk Thistle ( for liver function) L-Glutamine ( Amino acids for energy recovery...etc.) Kudzu ( Helps modify adictive behavour ). It's what I use .....works great ! IAD ( Take 3 times a day for 90 days...then modify to your need. ) IAD