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I hate my German/Irish genes

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    I hate my German/Irish genes

    I don't know who to blame this on, so there I blame my genes!
    Help....The weekend is coming and, I don't know how to socialize without drinking!!
    Love

    #2
    I hate my German/Irish genes

    Candi. You appear to have an option. Either you socialise and drink or not socialise and not drink.
    Why not have a weekend at home and pig out on pizzas and watch some interesting movies on TV?
    I don't mean you should become a recluse but take the time to work out a plan while you are out of the firing line. Your German genes would think that being out of the firing line is a damn good idea at any time.

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      #3
      I hate my German/Irish genes

      Yeah. Instead of socializing in a pub, go for a walk in the forest, or down to the beach, or do something new and different that you don't usually do, like a bike ride or something. I've stayed away from clubs and pubs. Like they say, you don't hang out at a barber shop if you don't want a haircut. And if you hang around the barber shop long enough, you will end up getting your hair cut, even though you were wantin to grow it. So just chill out. Remember, if you're friends are true friends, they'll understand and support you all the way. You'll find out who your real friends are. Anyway, hope you do well and make it through. Just keep coming here and posting when you feel weak. That always helps me. Ciao
      Failure is only failure the moment you give up.
      AF since 04th May 2010
      Fell overboard on the 8th July!
      My worst mistake was thinking that what i did wasn't that bad.
      :crazymonkey:

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        #4
        I hate my German/Irish genes

        Hey Candi,

        Genetically challenged here myself. Heritage wise and with a family history of alcoholism.

        There is life outside the hazey world of AL!!! I've been off the booze for 12 weeks coming Sunday and I feel fantastic. I'm starting to learn to cope in social environments and enjoying life to its fullest. Not semi conscious half of the time.

        Tough beginnings but definetely bright future ahead. That's what I would like to tell you as encouragement. It's not easy but so worthwile. You can do it
        AF since 15th March 2010

        The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

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          #5
          I hate my German/Irish genes

          It is quite easy to socialise with a soft drink in your hand... why not give it a go. It really is easy to say "no I just want a soft drink thanks....." But give yourself a winning streak and practice a couple of times at home first. But they are right, don't hang out at a pub if you don't want to drink.

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            #6
            I hate my German/Irish genes

            BH you are funny!
            M
            Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
            contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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              #7
              I hate my German/Irish genes

              Hi Candi
              I agree with Rags, you can socialise by choosing a fizzy drink or fruit juice. No-one really cares that much - well that is what I found when we had guests over for dinner and I served them Sparkling Cranberry Juice. They always drink wine and yet there was no comments at all. We all had a great night and everyone went to bed with a clear head...Yah!!

              Give it a try, its a great learning experience.
              Kind regards
              Hazeleyes
              Allen Carr’s book changed everything for me. The easyway to control alcohol. Highly recommended

              Comment


                #8
                I hate my German/Irish genes

                Hi Candi

                :welcome:

                The problem with blaming something else (your genes, your relationship, your job etc etc) is that there's a danger that you'll think "oh well, I can't help it, it's my genes/relationship/job etc". It gives you a ready-made excuse to drink.

                Instead of looking back and finding something to blame, I think it's important to look forward and put your energy into focusing on how you can get better. You can do it!

                Get a plan together about what you will do instead of drinking, and what you will drink instead of alcohol. There are lots of ideas in the toolbox in monthly abstinence
                https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html


                dizilizid;877656 wrote: Like they say, you don't hang out at a barber shop if you don't want a haircut.
                Ha! What a great saying!
                sigpic
                AF since December 22nd 2008
                Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                  #9
                  I hate my German/Irish genes

                  Hi Candi. I'm of German / Irish heritage too. We don't have to drink. Life is much better without AL in it, I promise!!!

                  They say to get sober, we have to change our people, places and things. I lead a busy social life these days, but NONE of it happens in a bar. I would suggest giving up bars, at least for awhile. There is a whole big world out there of stuff to do rather than sit on a bar stool.

                  Whatever you end up doing, enjoy an AF weekend!

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I hate my German/Irish genes

                    Thanks guys! I took your advice I went for a 2mi jog
                    I had to go to two places today where there was AL involved
                    I didn't drink, and I socialized, so I'm 3 days without AL, but is still hard.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I hate my German/Irish genes

                      Candi,
                      WELL DONE! I am facing the same struggle of socializing without AL and I have 4 (yes, four!) events this week that practically center around AL and they are all with family so I don't have a choice. And that is followed by a weekend away with wine-drinking friends!
                      I also have a family history of alcoholism so gene-wise, I have issues also.
                      Having said all that, it is ALWAYS our choice to take the drink or not. I know it is not going to be easy but I plan on drinking a lot of fruit juices this week......
                      Stay strong. I got your back. prancy

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                        #12
                        I hate my German/Irish genes

                        Way to go Candi. Prancy, I'll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. I've done the family events AF and survived. I agree, it's not easy, but you'll feel so much more powerful for overcoming it. John
                        Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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                          #13
                          I hate my German/Irish genes

                          Thanks, John. I am taking it one event at a time!

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                            #14
                            I hate my German/Irish genes

                            Hey Guys, am Irish and have to say that I have noticed in the last 20 years how much less Irish people are drinking. The youngsters do drink a lot but I think that is a world wide phenomenon.
                            Molly
                            Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                            contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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