day 2 al free. i went to see the doc today for another sick note for my back and to see about my depression getting worse. when i started to explain about how i feel in the school yard and i'mharbouring guilt from being off from work at the school, i feel like all the mums are staring, the heart pounding etc... the tears came, followed by a pretty bad panic attack, the third in two days. the doc calmed me down using distraction and breathing.
he told me it wasnt my depression making me feel the way i am, but anxiety disorder. this is brought on by long periods of stress. my sis and hubby have been doing the school run for me, to try to keep the panic attacks at bay. he told me this is common with anxiety and is known as avoidance, but in the end, does more harm than good. ive been avoiding my boss and just sending relatives in with sick notes for months now. i hadn't even informed her that they are going to operate. the doc gave me a self help booklet that said you should try and face these avoidances, sooner rather than later. so while i was feeling calm this afternoon, i did some deep breathing then rang my boss and updated her. she was lovely. i felt like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. the doc has refferred me to a councelor for CBT and wants me to go and see him next week to change my meds to one that treats both depression and anxiety. then my op for my back, i'll be like a new woman!
today i reached out for help, and i got it. the sense of relief and achievement i feel now is fantastic. guess my message is, dont wait until tomorrow to seek help, do it now!
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