It's actually Selamat Pagi (Good Morning) now...
I've had 5 weeks of 35C plus and 70 percent humidity and great surfing for the last month and Today was my first day back at work in the freezing cold..
I'm not at all happy...
I have to be up at 6am, Bollocks!
Melbourne is "Tidak Bagus" (Not good!)
I fully realize that a holiday is a holiday but 5 weeks away makes it really hard to come home, let alone work outside in 12C!
I'll be whinging for at least a week!
I never gave up the grog, got it under control for a while but "just", so after 5 weeks of drinking and surfing, I might be calling upon a few old friends (and hopefully some new ones) to help sort me out..
I've just finished my second bottle of red and just feel relaxed, not drunk (That's not good !)
I'm booked in to see a psychologist in a week (I suffer anxiety and depression, albeit mildly) but enough to make my life uncomfortable and stop me doing what I'd like to do... even though I am fully functional in most ways..
I'm uncomfortable and "bluffing it" about half of the time...
I had my first Panic attack while away (heart pounding like I'd been sprinting for 10 minutes, sweating, weak at the knees and felt like my gut was wrenching itself in two) Luckily I realized what it was and just watched it pass, it was over in 5 minutes..
I don't know what else to say except that I really feel like I'm about to lose my grip on the edge and fall into the pit...
This isn't the wine talking, I felt like this in Bali as well on several occasions..
Wish me luck, I'm off to get some help and be pro-active, I'll never give in to this shit, I promise...
Hope everyone is good
David xxx
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