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    New Idea

    I've read so many (and VALID) cries for help here, but I can't even think of my problems if I read our news. By 'our' I mean the news of my county, state, nation, and world. I'm constantly chided (nagged) for getting so involved in it when there are the day to day things to tend to, and the overwhelming personal losses I've had this year. But when we're having an ecological disaster of biblical proportions, and the reactions to it are flacid; tornadoes are wiping out towns in minutes and leaving death an destruction in the aftermath; children and husbands are ripped away from the mothers in a flash flood on a camping vacation together; a 7 y/o disappears from a school fair day, and celebrities and politicians fly over them to 'help with the the aftermath' ( these are only a short list of this weeks American tragedies) I greive. And I think about how small my complaints and problems are. You, my friends, have kept me from falling off the edge of the world. I know the size of a problem depends on how close we're standing to it, but I've always had the difficulty of feeling close to the pain of someone, some creature, truly in need. Seems I'm a sponge that absorbs others pain, and though I know it's not right, it's hard to shut off.
    I'm hoping you all will take a minute to look at your lives, think about what your problems are, and realize they are usually temporary. Most things are not world tragedies. We have to assign values to our problems, look for the best solutions, think 'how can I make this better'. I do not denegrate your problems; I only ask that you look at them in a bigger frame. We ARE fighting for our lives against AL, but it has been an ongoing process, as is recovery. We can no easier conquer it in a day than we can go back and prevent the disasters that happen worldwide everyday.
    Today, I will make a good day. Today, I will be the best person I can be, and help all who need help within my reach. My mind will not have time to think about drinking, wasting my life. If this means a lazy afternoon with someone I love, that's what I should do for the both of us. Sometimes it's as little as an acknowledgement in passing. So many things I don't remember doing in the past have been remembered, and told back to me by people whose live I touched.
    It's very hard to really make my point, but I guess I'm trying to say each one of us makes a difference, every minute of every day, without knowing it, by showing kindness. We've lost the art of grace, consideration, concern, and manners in our life. It sounds simple, but it isn't for most. And the results are life altering.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    #2
    New Idea

    Ruby you are a tough little country gal with the heart of a big country! I too feel these things deeply and find it very hard to shut it out. One of the signs I have in plain view in my office is very simple but a profound reminder:
    Yesterday is history.
    Tomorrow is a mystery.
    Today is a gift.
    So make a good day. )

    Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


    St. Francis of Assisi

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      #3
      New Idea

      food for thought indeed Ruby. the big pic escapes me when i selfishly focus on my own world. A broader mind of compassion & grace is definately required.
      Nice quote too RC.
      Will mull over these thoughts today during my actvities.

      Comment


        #4
        New Idea

        'Sufficent unto the day is the evil thereof' is an admonition from The Sermon On The Mount. I am not religious by any means but this sermon is well worth reading because it is a kindly warning for us not to borrow trouble, and to limit the things we are worried about.
        Do what you can in your own life and do your best in your own world.
        'Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.' Pretty good sense I reckon.

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          #5
          New Idea

          Thank you Ruby for you post. I am so consumed with my own guilt that I can't even look around and see what is happening all around me, good or bad. This is the most selfish disease around. I will take the time to do something good today.

          Comment


            #6
            New Idea

            Thank you get. I seem to attract worries; the world, country, state, local, family news sticks to me, and has caused me guilt that I'm not 'fixing' things for the less fortunate. In my rational mind, I know I can't help much, but the way I was raised, you had an obligation to help, to be there for others. Of course, my grandmother, when she cooked and tooked food to less fortunates every Tuesday, and my Momma, who took in so many of her crazy relatives children, didn't see what was going on outside their family and community. I don't think anyone can really identify with me here as far as my background. Hubs is upset with me all the time about how much I give to others, because his family gave nothing. I digress; I understand I have to limit myself, but almost the only way to do it is limit myself to my locality.
            Again, thank you for your response.
            Rubes
            sigpic
            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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              #7
              New Idea

              Thank you Ruby. You are a good friend with a wonderful soul.
              I love my family more than alcohol.:h
              Live in the Solution....not the problem

              Comment


                #8
                New Idea

                I have been thinking about this tread for a couple of days now (No! not obsessing! LOL, but mulling Rubies thoughts around in my head) I think that many women are raised with the idea that if they are in a state of "constant worry" and attempting to "absorb and remove the pain of others" then, they are doing their job of being good women, nurturers, mothers, friends etc. With that being said, I ask, what, if anything does, worry and absorbing the pain of others truly accomplish? Who does this help? By allowing friends, relatives and even casual aquaintences the freedom to dump on us, anytime they don't want to handle their bumps in the road, how does this help them to learn strength and the skills to handle the bumps in the future? How does draining ourselves dry help us, our families and our friends....let alone our employer?

                So, what to do? My Reiki training taught me how to heal without absorbing negative energy. Whether or not you believe in energy work or not. I believe the premis of this is wise for all to think about. It involves being able to read or listen, and then to let it go. That energy does not belong to us. So, why should be want to hold on to it?

                Some simple steps that help me are this. When I am made aware of a disaster, let's use the Gulf Oil Crisis, I am sad, I am angry, I have all of those negative emotions come up, but I do not absorb these emotions, I let them go, Meditation helps with this!. Then I think of at least one action that I can take in my life to help prevent this from happening again. For me, that is energy conservation. Though I have been taking steps in this direction for many years, I did discover one more small way of taking an action. I am now turning off my surge protectors when electronics are not in use. I keep all my chargers, Kindle, phone, lap top etc on one circuit breaker and it goes off unless it is in use. Small step, but small steps lead to huge change when many take small steps. I feel better and I feel part of a solution.

                Just some random thoughts that I wanted to share!
                xo Kate

                PS If anyone is interested in releasing negative energy, PM me and I will be happy to point you in the direction of a lot of good information on this!



                Yes, the world is brimming with disasters, every where we look these days. People are frought with personal problems and fear of the future and the unknown is part of our every day life.
                A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                AF 12/6/2007

                Comment


                  #9
                  New Idea

                  Thank you my friend Kate. I should have known you would understand the 'horns of the dilemma' I'm on. I HAVE to get a handle on it, or Hubs and I will stay at odds. He is a loving, giving, compassionate person, respected by all that know him, but SO different in his personality from me. Somewhere, between his personality and mine, I have to find my balance. 'Sponge Rube' is not a great place to be!
                  sigpic
                  Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                  awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    New Idea

                    Also, Kate, something I've read recently and trying to implement is 'What is there to worry about? If there is a problem, and you can fix it, do. Don't worry about it. If there is a problem and you CAN'T fix it, what will worry help'. Trying to 'absorb' that one!
                    sigpic
                    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      New Idea

                      I am a fellow recovering worrywart! One day Mr. Doggy said to me "worrying is something we do to convince ourselves that we ARE actually DOING something. But we're not." That ties in to the quote in your last post Ruby. There was just something about how he put that - when I worry I AM FOOLING MYSELF - that helps me stop it.

                      DG
                      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                      One day at a time.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        New Idea

                        Thank you Ruby for putting some things into perspective for me today.

                        As I sit in my living room with my 6 year old son who is playing his Wii so happily, I am reminded of how truly blessed I really am!

                        Tommorrow, I know of a family who will be attending the funeral for their 6 year old son who died two days ago from a brain tumor. They came here from South Africa in hopes that the doctors here could help their little boy. He could not be helped, so his funeral is tommorrow.

                        Sometimes we fail to see the bigger picture in life, we get so consumed with our own issues. The world is so much bigger and complex than just our own little world.

                        Thanks for the great post Ruby.
                        I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          New Idea

                          rubywillow;887669 wrote: Also, Kate, something I've read recently and trying to implement is 'What is there to worry about? If there is a problem, and you can fix it, do. Don't worry about it. If there is a problem and you CAN'T fix it, what will worry help'. Trying to 'absorb' that one!
                          Exellent quote Ruby! You are right, the non-worrywort types are equally compassionate, such as your husband, balance is the best way!

                          There are times that we might worry. When we know somone is in harms way, or very late an not reachable, but even then, there are steps we can take!

                          Over It, you hit the nail on the head, there are some things, like parents loosing a child that seem impossible to move past. But, still people manage to do so. And you are also correct that it can make the small stuff seem truly tivial, as it usually is.
                          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                          AF 12/6/2007

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                            #14
                            New Idea

                            Ruby....we are like a grain of sand in this universe........look at our problems the same way. How small is our situation compared to the whole picture in our universe......" We are but a grain of sand on the beach of life" IAD
                            ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                            those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                            Dr. Seuss

                            Comment


                              #15
                              New Idea

                              IAD;887880 wrote: Ruby....we are like a grain of sand in this universe........look at our problems the same way. How small is our situation compared to the whole picture in our universe......" We are but a grain of sand on the beach of life" IAD
                              my toe my toe.. lol iad ...ruby love the quote
                              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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