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Why I don't have 2 years today

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    #16
    Why I don't have 2 years today

    Greenie.
    Your very open and honesty post came at a time when I needed to hear that (the universe intervening again?).
    I am off on business/holidays next week and I have 5 and a bit months of sobriety under my belt.
    While away, I have to attend alot of social functions, that in previous years I have always been plastered at. As I have "so much" time AF, I have been allowing myself thoughts of exactly that..... "I can control it as I have been able to control it over the last five months"...... "just one or two wont hurt"......."I need one or two to relax and be able to talk to people"........ the stinking thinking goes on and on.
    I have been thinking about posting in my usual threads that I am going to slip next week just to prepare everyone for it!
    HOW DUMB IS THAT!!!
    I have even been thinking that I will have to change my quotes under my signature because I wont be AF anymore etc. I have been preparing myself for letting down some of my lovely friends I have made here who trust me to stay AF, who may even gain strength from my AF time! I felt like I had already let myself down even with just the thinking.
    So as you can see your post has gone straight to my heart and soul. You wrote that for me!
    I actually feel alot better now knowing that I will not drink next week.

    Thank you Greenie.
    I finally got it!
    "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become" Buddah

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      #17
      Why I don't have 2 years today

      Hi all
      Great post greenie. Thats what this site is all about learning from each other . What works what doesn't. This is a subject we hear time and again here. I thought I was in control of al. If your history with al is like mine you will never be in control. If I take that one drink the wagon will be long gone without me.


      Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
      AF 5-16-08
      Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
      AF 5-16-08

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        #18
        Why I don't have 2 years today

        Great post as always greeners, you inspire me too.xx
        "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

        AF 10th May 2010
        NF 12th May 2010

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          #19
          Why I don't have 2 years today

          Thank you Greenie good learning for all!
          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

          Comment

            #20
            Why I don't have 2 years today

            Greenie, As always you are an inspiration! Congratulations on being Solidly Sober after 2 years!!
            xo Kate
            A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

            AF 12/6/2007

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              #21
              Why I don't have 2 years today

              Greenie,
              I think that those thoughts have plagued everyone here! Thanks for the great reminder.
              prancy

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                #22
                Why I don't have 2 years today

                Greenie, thank you
                I know that feeling of testing the water and thinking why not?
                Well you have just answered me :-)
                Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                  #23
                  Why I don't have 2 years today

                  Brilliant .

                  Comment

                    #24
                    Why I don't have 2 years today

                    Everyone, thank you. Thank you for the understanding, the support, the positive feedback and for simply taking the time to read it. Solidly sober - good one, kate! I like it! I just may eat peppermint ice cream anyway!
                    sigpic
                    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                    Comment

                      #25
                      Why I don't have 2 years today

                      Right on track and time for me also. Sober 13 mos and keep thinking the same. Someday when I decide it's right I will have 2 or 3.. Worried it will just get worse though and you placed it right out there.
                      Thanks for sharing.

                      Winefree

                      Comment

                        #26
                        Why I don't have 2 years today

                        Greenie, great post!! I too had to step off the wagon to see if I was "fixed." I had to do that (unfortunately) to find out for SURE that I will NEVER be "fixed" when it comes to being able to control AL. You are right that the GOOD news is that once we are sure, we can go forward in a higher quality sobriety.

                        Wish I were there to share that ice cream!!

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                        One day at a time.

                        Comment

                          #27
                          Why I don't have 2 years today

                          Winefree and everyone else.... it does get worse. It might not be the next day or the next weekend, or the next month, but that dark scary place is still there. I know, I saw it.
                          sigpic
                          Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                          Comment

                            #28
                            Why I don't have 2 years today

                            Does it ever get better?
                            Hipster
                            I finally got it!
                            "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become" Buddah

                            Comment

                              #29
                              Why I don't have 2 years today

                              Hipster, for ME it got worse. I drank at a special weekend. Very lightly. Didn't drink again for weeks... a month maybe? But I eventually ended up with a glass in hand in the morning. It was just a matter of time. I even kidded myself that it wasn't as bad because I was drinking wine, no hard stuff. The BS we tell ourselves is absolutely incredible. Now I know for certain that I (as doggy girl puts it) I can never drink safely. Some people can mod. I'm not one. I know it, accept it, and am actually relieved to know for sure. Those thoughts of testing the water, the wondering, can drive you nuts. So if someone has to try it out for themselves, I completely understand and hope they don't get into the mind games the alcoholic brain will play to perpetuate it. That's when you can get ready to wallow in the mud.
                              sigpic
                              Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                              Comment

                                #30
                                Why I don't have 2 years today

                                Greenie thanks so much for your insight. I tried to mod more than the 60's. Always ending in failure. Like that age old idiom, once I decided to pick up a drink "the genie was out of the bottle!"
                                Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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