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Things I'm becoming aware of.

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    #1

    Things I'm becoming aware of.

    It has occurred to me that if I am going to make a go of sobriety then I am going to have to change a hell of a lot more than my drinking habits. Over the years my social circles have become rather heavily weighted in favour of drinking buddies. Even the friendships I have been lucky enough to maintain since I was a young child have become ritualised by a drinking culture. Tonight is Saturday night and I have stayed in. Not such a big deal as I was out all day and I don't mind my own company from time to time. However in the past if I had decided that I wanted to socialise tonight then I could have done so without too much effort, a couple of phone calls and a quick freshen up and I would be out the door ready for a drink in the pub. Now things are going to have to be different. I will need to re-connect with a lot of people on a new level based on shared interests. I may even have to cut some ties due to a lack of common ground. This is all pretty daunting stuff. Western cultures do not make our journey an easy one my friends.

    Good night one and all and stay beautiful!:bedtime:
    "The greatest hazard of all, losing one?s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed." Soren Kierkegaard.

    AF since 13 June 2010.
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    #2
    Things I'm becoming aware of.

    Mate, you need a girlfriend. That will stuff up all your existing social relationships and you won't need to go out. There's the shagging too. Give it a go.

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      #3
      Things I'm becoming aware of.

      shagadelic baby!!!
      Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

      Comment

        #4
        Things I'm becoming aware of.

        He He, believe me blue a girlfriend is definitely not what I need. I am fairly recently single after 6 years covering two co dependent relationships and broken engagements. I'm really learning to be independent and I like it. Don't get me wrong I am well up for the good times between the sheets and I think it's fair to say that is a priority of mine, but a girlfriend is not on the cards right now.

        Saying that I'm off out to lunch with a hot young chick in an hour however she is a friend and I think that for me, a quick shag is far easier to come by that a good friend. Although I must admit I've cleaned my place up just in case she comes back. New sheets and duvet covers in place, slightly ruffled so it looks like I haven't made an effort :devil::naughtfeet:
        "The greatest hazard of all, losing one?s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed." Soren Kierkegaard.

        AF since 13 June 2010.

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          #5
          Things I'm becoming aware of.

          That's the way. A bit of class. Gets them every time. Unfortunately the Chateau Cardboard is out of the question.

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            #6
            Things I'm becoming aware of.

            Johnny,

            All kidding aside, you are probably right about having to change some friends.

            I cannot imagine hanging with people who drink and not drinking. My brain doesn't work that way. "If they can, surely I can."

            Picking up some new habits and hobbies where alcohol is not an option is a good way to go.

            DG also mentioned that action hobbies, walking, biking, etc. tend to be better distractions than inaction hobbies, reading, etc.

            I am not saying that reading is a bad pasttime, but I agree that taking a walk when I feel antsy helps a whole lot more than sitting down to read or watch television.

            However, at night when I can't go out for a walk, I do read or watch movies to keep my mind from wandering where I don't want it to go.

            Like you, I am figuring out I have to change it up. I am looking forward to figuring out what I really like to do. Spent too many years not doing anything except drinking during my relaxation time.

            Cindi
            AF April 9, 2016

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              #7
              Things I'm becoming aware of.

              I know it may be a tired slogan, but it's tried and true: Don't change anything, change EVERYTHING.
              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                #8
                Things I'm becoming aware of.

                :thanks:Thanks Ruby and Cinders they are both very good pieces of advice. Many of my friendships pre-date Alcohol are I am happy to say I have other ways I can spend time with them. For those whom I share no other common ground with I guess the inevitable will happen but I am lucky to have some good mates.

                Another test passed today. Went for a meal with a friend and as soon as I walked into the restaurant I felt the compulsion to drink beer. That soon passed and I was fine with coke.

                In ref to the earlier points, never took her home although we have an understanding that it would be a mutually desirable thing to do. I think a good friend is not worth loosing for a shag. Bloody tempting not to turn on the magic though.:lilangel:

                We are bound to get closer as friends but I think we are both quite hedonistic by nature and therefore there is a risk that if we do not manage our mutual attraction it could turn into quite a destructive relationship. Man she looked hot though:devil:
                "The greatest hazard of all, losing one?s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed." Soren Kierkegaard.

                AF since 13 June 2010.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Things I'm becoming aware of.

                  John, keep thinking with the head on your neck! :H
                  sigpic
                  Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                  awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Things I'm becoming aware of.

                    There is no blood in it at the moment:H
                    "The greatest hazard of all, losing one?s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed." Soren Kierkegaard.

                    AF since 13 June 2010.

                    Comment

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