the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

[girly wirly]

those of you who suffer anxiety will relate. i got up this morning, my mind was racing with so many things. going at 100 miles an hour. i started writing myself jobs lists which were completely unachievable in one day. i decided i was going to asda to buy kudzu, milk thistle, l-glut, to sort my drinking, slim fast to make me thin, then i was gonna come back and listen to hypno cd's and clean and sort the house and the mound of ironing, in my mind i wold be a changed woman by 5 o clock.

sound irrational? thats the thoughts that flew through my mind in a very short space of time. in reality, my day went like this...

got into asda, and got that feeling everyone was staring at me. i felt naked. like i was naked and on display. the haze came over and i felt like i was dreaming. i stared aimlessly at the vitamins, yet didnt actually look at anything. this went on for around ten minutes, my chest had started to tighten, i was taking huge gulps of air so i could breathe and i felt the world was spinning so fast around me. after being glued to the spot i just got out of there, climbed into the car, realised i needed petrol. drove to asda fuel station, put my card and pin in, still in the haze but tearful now. tried to open the fuel cap and couldn't, i've opened it a hundred times and i didnt know how to open it today. the panic got worse and worse. eventually i got the cap open (i'd locked the car, it won't open when its locked) shoved ?10 of fuel in so i could get out of there. my phone went. text message from my sister "where are you?" as i was supposed to be visiting her. after last weeks events i knew she would be worried so i was trying to text "on way"whilst trying to drive, having a panic attack and sobbing/ trying to breath and blatantly still drunk from the night before. i don't know how i was physically able to drive. i don't know how the hell i got to my sisters in that state without killing someone. when i got there she eventually calmed me down. how many lucky escapes am i going to get? when will my moment of clarity arrive? i'm desperately hoping to stay sober tonoght so i can take antabuse tomorrow. i so need to get better. i can't take this much longer. sorry for the long confusing rant, but thats exactly what happens to me when i get an attack. it's confusing, irrational and upsetting.

thanks for letting me share x

[OverIt2007]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Hey Girly!

So are you saying you got drunk last night? Im positive thats where you panic attack came from, I used to have the worst ones in the world very much like you described, and always after drinking heavy the day before. In fact, almost exactly like you described how my panic attacks felt. It feels like you are losing your mind, and if you are driving a car, you forget how!

Oh goodness. Can you just stay home today and relax??? Are you feeling ok now???

[girly wirly]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

hi over (gorgeous pic, i love seeing what you guys look like, but i'm not brave enough to put a pic on of myself yet.)

i suffer panic attacks even during sober periods caused by traumatic events in the last year, but you're right, when i have them with any al in my system from the night before they are always worse. it was so awful. i had no idea how to drive that car or think rationally. they make you feel like youre going stir -fry crazy don't they?

[rubywillow]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

GW, OverIt is right. Same thing used to happen to me after a binge, and will continue to happen to you till you get yourself sorted. I'm glad your sister was there, but you shouldn't drive in that condition again! You could hurt yourself, someone else, or be arrested. You've got to be tough, and honest with yourself now, before you start fantasizing about having another drink. Be sure you have people to call to help you through this, or if it happens again. Make a plans (sounds like you have the tools) and WORK IT! This is SO important, and as you said, we never know when the next time could be the last time, permanently! It's already happened to someone here this year, and I'm still suffering over her. Don't want to lose another person. PM me if you need me, but continue to reach out!

[girly wirly]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

overit, its 5 pm here and i'm tucked safely in the house, forcing myself to not do anything other than sit here and read mwo.

[techie]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Girly I've had panic attacks like that after heavy drinking. It will subside which is the good news. I know they are scary, very scary. Use that experience to motivate yourself to not drink so you're clean enough to start the antabuse. Please let us know how you are doing girly. We care about you deeply...john

[OverIt2007]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Oh good, I am glad you are home and can just relax. Just try to get some rest, and know that tommorrow will be a better day. Thank you for compliment on pic, trust me..Not how I look in the morning, thats for sure. I know you have a couple of girls too? They need Mom to get better just like how my Mini Me needs ME to get better too! You can do it!

Im sorry you had some tramatic events happen to you to cause panic attacks. Mine were always just drinking related, and I dont have them otherwise. I am grateful for that because I do know just how terrifying they feel. Yet, another reason to get the monkey off your back with the booze.

Sounds like you had a good plan to get the suppliments and perhaps take the Antabuse? Perhaps tommorrow will feel like a good day to start with the plan? Were all here to support you in whatever way you go! Be sure to get a good nights rest tonight!:l

[stirly-girly]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Hi Girly. Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Lets just say that the panic attack and all might not have been so acute if you didn't still have AL in your system from the night before. Do you have any sleeping pills that you could take to get you through the next couple of evenings? From what I've read, not from personal experience, you should be three days detoxed before taking Antabuse or you could get a bad reaction from it. People on Antabuse have had reactions from as little alcohol as there in is a piece of fruit cake with brandy or sherry in it. Some even have problem with perfumes and mouthwashes. Just my opinion but if you have anti-depressants and something to help you sleep for the next few days, it would probably be better than just one night AF. I found that anti-depressants lessened my panic attacks as well. And they even out your emotions so you don't feel so overwhelmed by it all.
And just a suggestion because I tend to sometimes do what you did - write a huge list of things that I know I can't accomplish in one day and then feel disappointed in myself that I didn't get through the list. Just do what absolutely needs to be done over the next few days and leave the bigger picture for when you're feeling better and more able to cope. And by the basics I don't mean scrubbing walls and washing windows. Make the beds, cook a decent meal because you need to eat properly, wash the dishes, put in a load of laundry if necessary. That's all. If something needs ironing, do only what is needed for the next day and leave the rest. You'll get back to it eventually. Don't overwhelm yourself with trying to take on too much. It's a trigger. Sometimes half an hour of tidying up can make the house look as good as if you scrubbed it for hours. Neat does not cause anxiety. And treat yourself as best you can. A soothing bubble bath, the relaxing CD's, a good book to keep your mind off AL. You can get through this.
Stirly

[Cinders]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Stirly,

Those are very good words of wisdom.

In the medical community, one thing they look for with alcoholics and addicts of any kind, actually, is ADL.

Activities of Daily Living.

When we are actively engaged in our addiction, we can't pay attention to the most basic functions of ADL. Brushing our teeth, showering, eating, making a bed.

GW, start with the basics as Stirly has said. No. You are not going to be a new woman in a day, a week, a month, or even a year. You will evolve into a new woman every day as you fight this addiction.

Start with the basics.

Love,
Cindi

[KateH1]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Girly,
Yes, you have gotten much support and comfort here. Happy to hear you are safely tucked in.

Panic attacks are horrible, I suffered from them even before I took up drinking. During my drinking years the P attacks that would follow a drunk night were the worst. During my drinking years, I also had them during sober times as well. When I quit drinking for good, it took months for the P attacks to really subside, (not just a few days or weeks). I did find that taking Omega 3, 6 and 9 and excersice, even walking really helped!

You mentioned to us that you had also stopped taking morphine for pain. Is your Dr. doing anything to help you with morphine withdrawal?

One Day at a time and Patience!
Kate

[girly wirly]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

no kate, i had weaned myself off it before i took the overdose, as im not in as much pain, and coping with milder painkillers.

you have all given such good, strong advice. thankyou so much:l i'm doing my very best to listen. my liver is aching!

as for the al free time before starting antabuse some sites say 12 hours, but i'm not chanceing that, others say 36 hours. i'll see how i feel tomorrow evening.

thanks again. i love you all!:l

[OverIt2007]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

The very best to you whichever route you take. I do agree with Stirly Girl too. It is not quite so cut and dry on choosing which drug to take. I think it might be more experimental perhaps?

I am encouraged by my two dear friends on here who have had huge success with Antabuse. I understand for others Antabuse is not their answer, perhaps baclofen or something else. As we are all different, it only makes sense that we have success with our own personalized way of treatment.

I personally really like the aspect of Antabuse, although the pill has not actually went down my throat "yet" but not to say that it will not. I understand that Antabuse does nothing for cravings, but I actually LIKE the element of fear to the consequences as to what would happen if you do drink. Others may not like that element of fear, I understand that. For me personally, I feel when I am ready to take the Antabuse I will. Its a very personally decision and nobody can make the decision for you. It has to be your choice, its your life.

You just do what you feel is your best choice, and we will support your decision.

Good Luck to you Girly!

[girly wirly]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

thanks all. just need to get through these last few hours!

[Mrs Donovan]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

Hi GW - really really great advice from everybody here.

Just wanted to check if you are taking any anti d's? I'm in the UK like you and am on citalopram 20mgs for anxiety/panic attacks and depression - I'm also on the hypnosis cd's recommended by my dr from The Foundation for Positive Mental Health (if you do have a look at the website, have a look at the resources section for some little films and things) and after a month and half I'm feeling loads better.

I don't know your history but have read some of your posts and think you should be getting some meds for depression. Your panic attack certainly sounds like the kind I was having and they are GRIM but you can cure yourself of them even if they're not AL related.

Best of luck to you :l

[rubywillow]

the hideous anxiety/panic attack i had today.

GW, wonderful advice you've been given today. I hope you realize we care. Take care of yourself, honey.