Question not related to AL

[K9Lover]

Ok, just wanted to get some opinions. And I'm sure depending on where you live, the answers will vary greatly!

My daughter is turning 13 in September, and I am seriously considering letting her get her lip pierced, a very, very small stud on the right side of her bottom lip (when she turns 13).

Thoughts? I'm fine with it, but I'm not sure how the rest of my family would react. Funny how I'm 37 years old and still scared of the folks. LOL

[rubywillow]

Question not related to AL

Well, just my opinion, mind you, but I would have her wait at least till 16. 13 is still a child, and for many, it sends the wrong message. Besides, what will she want next?
You'll make the right decision as a mom.
Good luck! That's a TOUGH age.:H

[one2many]

Question not related to AL

I would let her get it done...

I was a punk back in the day and my mother used to go MENTAL at the way I dressed and the way my hair was..I was a good kid and never broght her any trouble...it was very hard on me to try find my identity with the way she used to act, burining my clothes, pulling me by the hair..etc etc.

I see nothing wrong with a small lip stud and don't worry about what the family think...they might moan at first but they will eventually get used to it.

Good on ya for being a cool Mom! My ten year old son has told me he wants to be a goth....go ahead I said but you take the black nail varnish off for school!!

Kids shoud be allowed to express themselves to a certain extent and learn about who they are and if making a simple statement helps them to do that..well and good...

I want a pic of the piecing tho!!

[Cinders]

Question not related to AL

K9,

I would not be fine with it but I AM AN OLD LADY. :H:H

Girls got their ears pierced, and that was with fierce objections from their daddies, when I was growing up.

However, if you are fine with it, that is all that matters.

It is not a tattoo on the face or some other deal that is undoable for the rest of her life.

That is how I view these things with my grandchildren. I may not like them, but if it is not a life altering event, then it is okay.

However, if you harbor some serious reservations, then voice them and stand by them.

My children both wanted tattoos growing up. I said "no." I told them to wait until they were 18. They waited. They both have tattoos now.

But at least they were old enough to decide what they wanted to do to their bodies. I don't like the tattoos but I don't really care at this point. They are their own keepers these days. Oh, heck, they are 31 and 29 respectively. I have no say anymore. Thank God.

However, the truth is, I said "no" and they listened and respected me. They waited until they were of "legal" age to decide for themselves and I was no longer in the picture.

Does that make sense?

hth,
Cindi

[Chillgirl]

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K9 - I think it depends just how passionate she is about getting it done, would she be happy waiting till she is 16? The good think about piercings is they dont have to be permanant.
If it means so much to her I would let her do it, I wasnt allowed to get my ears pierced and went and did it behind my parents back at 12. Id much rather have had my mums blessing, in fact it would have been really great if she had been enthusiastic about it and come with me, I would have felt much happier and so would she.

In the bigger picture, what does a piercing matter, you'd rather she was expressing herself that way than with drugs and by supporting her it shows you respect her decisions. By 13 I was up to all sorts and wouldnt have gotten into so much trouble if I'd had more open communication with my mum.

[OverIt2007]

Question not related to AL

Oh K-9, LOL. The dillemas we face being a parent, LOL!

How badly does she want this done and is she REALLY sure she wants this? Im sure the kids at school will definately have a big reaction to it. Im sure shes trying to be cool of course.

Um, its really up to you Mom, do you think your daughter will regret getting it done? You know her best.

My sister is devote christian, I mean if you think I am religious, my sister really takes the cake! Shes a great Mom of 8 children. Half of her kids are pierced and tattoed up, so just goes to show that tats and piercings have come along way. The christian kids are doing it too!

I think that you being the Mom will make the best decision for your girl. Im really just leaving this ball in your court.

[hart]

Question not related to AL

Well I am the last woman on earth who hasn't got even my ears pierced, but I too would judge based on the maturity of the daughter. If she is doing well in school and responsible otherwise, I guess it's okay if it were a tattoo I'd say absolutely not until age 18, but this, is reversible.

I don't think they are attractive, but I do remember badly wanting to fit in at age 13, those are tough years. I would say no to a tongue piercing though, there have been many many bad infections that have scarred from those. I also would advise when she wanted to go for a job to leave it out for an interview. Even babysitting jobs some parents may not like it.

[rubywillow]

Question not related to AL

Just one precaution (I'm sure you've researched it already!) This is from a famous Body Art Studio (you young'uns didn't think I know that, did you??:H)
Possible Complications
Some of you may have had your lips pierced for years and haven't suffered any damage to date. This likely means that you had a very talented and knowledgeble piercing artist do your work. Your piercer understood exactly how to place your piercing to keep it from causing erosion to the delicate tissues and teeth it needs to coexist with.

Others have not been so lucky with their lip piercings. Whether the procedure wasn't done correctly in the first place, or the piercee's body chemistry simple chose to reject the piercing, the story varies from person to person. The point is that sometimes a lip piercing goes wrong.

The problems may appear almost immediately, or they may only come to light months or years after the piercing was carried out. This is because many of the dangers of lip piercings take time to develop, and they may go unnoticed in the early stages.

The moral of the story is: Know what you're getting into before you pierce. If you understand the type of damage you might possibly be doing to your mouth, and you still believe your desire for the body art outweighs the risks then at least you've made an informed decision. You can deal with the consequences, if any, later.

Those consequences could include:

Infections: These can be caused by improperly disinfected piercing tools, an unsterile piercing environment or less than stellar after care on your part.
Nerve damage: This can happen during the actual piercing if you choose a less than fully experienced piercer.
Tooth erosion/cracking: If your piercing isn't located in just the right spot, your jewelry will rub against your teeth.
Tooth decay: This is typically an extension of erosion. Once the enamel is worn off, decay can quickly follow.
Gum erosion: This is caused when your jewelry rubs against the gums.
Gum recession: Your gums can shrink away in the spot your jewelry comes in contact with them.
Tooth scrambling: Without healthy gums, the jawbone itself can be exposed to infection and erosion. When this happens the teeth loosen and change position. Sadly, scrambled teeth are usually the first thing you notice, after the real damage is done.
Sensitive teeth: This is another by-product of gum recession. As the gums recede, the nerves of the teeth become exposed and sensitive.
Tooth loss: This is the final outcome of gum loss and decay.
HIV: This is one consequence everyone should take seriously. There are many fine professionals operating out there, but it just takes one careless misstep to transfer this incurable virus from one customer to the next.
Hepatitis: This risk goes hand-in-hand with the caution about HIV. Bottom line, educate yourself about sterile procedures and make sure any piercer you choose is using them. This includes checking up on the shop to see how it has fared in recent health inspections.
Conclusion
LoveToKnow Tattoos is a celebration of body art, but that celebration doesn't include turning a blind eye to anyone's health. You have to remain health conscious to protect yourself, even while you're doing something you love. Just something to keep in mind.

[OverIt2007]

Question not related to AL

Very good points to consider from Ruby. Make an educated decision for sure.

Its funny you say your still scared of "the folks". Im the baby of my family, and when I get around my Dad its like I am a little kid again. I think I will always feel like Daddys way little girl. Still so much parental power over me thats for sure!

[Guest]

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Not a mom, so take this with a grain!

K-
I can't imagine trying to decide whether or not to allow a pierced lip! LOL.
I will tell you that my belly button ring was beautiful in my 20s, not so great in my late 30s. Now I've got a scar and a hole that will never completely heal. I'm back to wearing two-pieces (?! perhaps not advisable, but what the heck!) and hate the scar.

Also, my many ear piercings are also scars. I'm convinced that the reason I have a hyper reaction to pierced earrings now is because it was fun to stick a needle in them when I decided to have a little more bling on my bod.

I will say, that I briefly (very briefly, 'cause ouch) had a nose piercing and that left no scar.

Perhaps some of the more 'traditional' or at least less obvious sites to begin with?
Good luck
~K

[maslow23]

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HI K9,

Just out of curiousity, has she explained why she wants this to be done? My 13 old daughter really wants a cell phone, so I'll consider myself fortunate right now not to have to deal with lip piercings--lol. When asked why she wants cell phone--of course, because everyone else has one. Not good enough reason for me ;-) She can continue to use mine.

Maslow

[K9Lover]

Question not related to AL

Wow...thank you all for the responses. I read them all and they make a lot of sense.

I know that she feels strongly about it, and she has been asking for quite a while, but I couldn't even fathom letting her do it before 13!

I've researched it a lot, and they do have clear "retainers" that hold the hole open that are practically invisible, so there are options for it not being too obvious. And of course I'd have her remove it before any important events.

Kids here just grow up so fast, she had a cell phone at age 7...so did most of the rest of the kids in ELEMENTARY school. Not that we cave to peer pressure, but these things are just so common. Plus she's such a good kid with everything else, I feel like it's a small thing compared to the BIG picture of life...

I'm gonna keep thinking about it, I have a couple months to decide, but I'm leaning towards a YES....I had my nose and belly button pierced back in the day!

The joys of parenthood huh?

[rubywillow]

Question not related to AL

maslow23;892044 wrote: HI K9,

Just out of curiousity, has she explained why she wants this to be done? My 13 old daughter really wants a cell phone, so I'll consider myself fortunate right now not to have to deal with lip piercings--lol. When asked why she wants cell phone--of course, because everyone else has one. Not good enough reason for me ;-) She can continue to use mine.

Maslow

Good for you, Mas. I believe we have to draw some lines, out of reason and safety. I know I'm older, but I raised 2 teens, have 5 granddaughters and 2 grandsons. I seen what too much parental latitude does. And, unfortunate but true, people are still judged by the first impression they give.
My father once told my son to leave his house over a do-rag on his head (he was in his 20's). Son respected him and left, but my Daddy took me in private and cried over it. Son is very clean cut now. Daughter mentioned when she was about 18 (and she was perfect child, student etc.) she wanted a tatoo on her ankle. Hubs told her go ahead, but he'd take it off with a belt sander. :H Today, she says Thank You. It would not fit the person she is today. Son does have one ear peirced, but rarely wears a stud.
So, obviously I lean toward caution. If she really wants it, she'll eventually get it. I still believe 13 is too young. (MHO)

[momof3]

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If it were my daughter (and i have one who is 13), I would not allow it. I would discuss with her why she wants the lip piercing, i.e., I just wouldn't say "no." And, I would probably print out some literature for her on the potential health hazards and social consequences of having a lip piercing. I would also tell her that I think 13 is still too young. And, I would share my personal thoughts that they are unattractive, quite distracting, and do not leave a good first impression. I will tell her that she would need to wait on this one. Perhaps 16 but more likely 18. That's how I would handle it with my daughter.

[KateH1]

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Hi K9,
I tend to agree that 13 is too young to make such a permanent decision. I also think it is much wiser to teach kids about peer pressure and how to overcome it, rather than give in.

I would also worry about infection. The mouth contains more bacteria than any other part of the body and more bacteria than a public restroom. I know, not pleasant to think about!

Good Luck with this!!