Question not related to AL

[sk8punk]

Question not related to AL

I'm probably not the one to comment on this. I have a couple tattoos (70 some last time I counted). But if it's a small gauge then I don't see any problem with it. They can always be removed for special occasions.
My story is similar to One2many's. My mom hated I was a punk. It does put a damper on finding your identity. Plus I'm still like that today. In a much tamer way. Well except for the tattoos but I didn't get those until my mid 20's. I like the fact I can put a suit on and tattoos are still visiable.
So I say let her give it a shot. You never know she might change her mond once she sees the needle.

[Guest]

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Well, and don't hate me for this, I wouldn't allow it for my daughter, not while she was under my care and protection. No tattoos either. It is insanitary for a start, but worse it labels her. Have a look around and see what types of people are doing it. I've seen them, and dealt with them.
Cruel it 'til she's 16, with any luck she'll be over it by then.

[akgirl]

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I like to consider myself a cool Mom but my rule is no piercings or tatoos until he is 18. Other than that....go for it. I let him dress himself and express himself in other ways. Even let him have a mohawk (only for a weekend)

I just help him understand that books ARE judged by their cover, and some might get the wrong impression of what kind of a person he is. Its just how it is.

Just my 2cents

As long as you are okay with it, moms DO know best ya know.

[lucky 2.0]

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I hesitated to post but others paved the road....

I think a piercing other than ears is disgusting. And who is going to hire someone with a piercing on their friggin face??? No company that will allow kid to make a decent living.

I am in CA as are you and think the whole idea is beyond disgusting and not cute in the least. I am not in education but if I were, I would worry about parenting skills.

Good luck.

[Sweaty Betty]

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I wrote a HUGE post and then lost it. I like debate about body modification.

Teen 1 (now 16) had lip piercings, he took them out after a year, and then stretched his earlobes. I don't like the ears, but am assured that should he decide on a corporate career where image is important its a small cosmetic procedure to make them look 'normal' again. (I took him to a doctor and asked).

Everyone is different, my boy is the same person with or without piercings/stretched lobes, its other peoples opinions that will vary, and he seems to deal with that well.

I question my own parenting skills all the time, but know plenty of unpierced Teens who are getting into all sorts of trouble at school and at home, and have actually been complimented on his behaviour at school, so I think that a lot of educators can see through the modifications. The school however has no rules against piercings etc. if they had, I would have adhered to them, as would Teen1.

Interestingly enough. I asked him what he thought about being pierced at 13, - he thought it was too young 'especially for a girl' Hmm.

Sooo, K9 I think I would maybe put her off for as long as you can, but continue open discussion.

If you have any questions about the actual process - healing/scars etc. We'd be more than happy to help if we could.

Isn't it funny though that in our virtual MWO world any of us could have multiple piercings/facial tattoo's etc, but because they aren't 'seen' no opinions are formed.(And thank goodness we can't SEE Techies !)

Bets and Teen2

[stirly-girly]

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K9Lover;892068 wrote: We've decided to give it a test drive with a fake lip ring (magnets), they sell them on eBay. So at least we can get a sense of what it looks like.

It would be an easy decision if I didn't like them, but I really do, I think they're so cute! And we're not giving in to peer pressure, nobody is pressuring her to do it. It's probably my fault, I really think they look cute and I made the mistake of mentioning it one day...

I've been in the professional business/corporate world for almost 20 years and I know there are ways to get around small piercings.

Anyway, we'll see how it looks, maybe she won't even like it! (Right...)

Well after reading all the posts I just have to add my two bits her. I have two sons age 30 and 33. Each of them at one time mentioned getting one ear pierced because a lot of their friends were doing it. I suggested that they opt for being a little different rather than the same as all of the other kids. They were about 16 or 17 when the subject came up. I also suggested they get a little ring that they could try out to see what they thought it looked like on them. Neither of them thought it looked good so we don't have pierced ears. Older son just got a very subtle tattoo a couple of months ago on his 33rd birthday. It's on his side about 4 inches up from his waist so it's only visible when he's not wearing a top and if his arm isn't covering it. To be honest I didn't really like the idea of him getting it but it's his decision and he's very happy with it. It looks okay and is unique which is the part I like.
Anyway, back to the lip piercing. First of all, I think she's too young and second, I would worry a lot about her teeth. Damage that couldn't be reversed. Third, I have to agree with others who said that they don't find face piercing attractive. The only thing that I find acceptable other than pierced ears is a very small stud on the side of the nose. And I'm not really crazy about them. Call me old-fashioned if you will, just don't like it much. And I have my ears pierced and have a second small stud in my one ear. And I almost always wear make-up since I think it makes me look more attractive. Just not crazy about the piercings. And again, I think she should wait til she's 16. Kids grow up way too fast these days...

[johnnyh]

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As a father of a 3 year old and a 8 month old I am very, very happy that I don't have to deal with that sort of thing for another 10 years minimum :H

You will find a lot of different opinion on the topic. Whether someone finds this attractive or not is up to one's personal opinion and will probably also influence the opinion on whether one should get one. At any age or a specific age.

Whether you feel it's right for her to have the piercing now or not is up to you as a parent to decide. How she's perceived by her classmates, etc. might be something to consider, career, etc. at this stage isn't really an issue is it?! And these things are hardly permanent as tattoos are.

I personally would probably discourage my boys, were they at the age, to have them, but it's difficult for me to say now. I think that whatever your decision either way is not catastrophic in consequence. So think about it and make your decision

[Guest]

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I have worn a tongue stud for 10 years now, had a lip piercing for a while too. If I could go back I would not have had either. As it is I removed my lip ring after only 18 months but do still have a partially visible hole. Only reason I keep my tongue bar is because it's been in so long it is part of me.

I'd advise not to do it but if you stop her she'll probably only do it anyway when she gets to 16 or 18.

[johnnyh]

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hmmm... if it's going to be visible I'd give it some more consideration actually. I had a nose stud when I was 16 which has closed completely and some ear studs some of which have closed completely, some of which are still visible.

[stillbreathin]

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Hmmm, I really don't think that I would allow my sons to do it - I have 14 and 13 year olds. (They go to a school where it wouldn't be permitted anyway - hell, hair can't even touch their collars there - but.....)
I'd probably be trying to find out why she wants it, as 13 seems to be a little young for anyone to be making those kind of decisions.... is it a payback? (You've been shocking, so I want to shock you back.) Do all her friends have this (What situations are they coming from - is this peer pressure, a passing phase, I want to look like my favourite celebrity.) Does she understand the ramifications - what are the recruitment requirements for any career/job/part time money earner she may want in the future - will this prove a plus or minus? Does she understand the medical ramifications? Infection/Scarring/Tooth decay etc? Does she know that she may end up with a speech impediment, that may limit her social interactions/romantic interactions/employment opportunities etc.
If as a Mother, you receive reasonable answers (other than, I WANT IT BECAUSE I DO) and she shows a mature understanding of the above issues, then maybe.....I'd also enlist the advice of a favoured Aunt/Grandparent/Teacher/Significant female Role Model to get feedback for her BEFORE taking the step........whew.......BTW, I'd kill my guys for even suggesting it lol. Good luck!!!

[Justforme]

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I can't help feeling that there is such a lot of pressure on kids now to not just be kids but to be mini-adults. Cell phones at 7 years old seems so unnecessary but then I live in New Zealand so probably you can discount anything I'm saying here as being applicable to life in California. I just feel sad that these kids have to grow up so fast. What about a kitten when she turns 13 or a pup (a goldfish???) something to learn to take care of and to be responsible for. Sorry if I sound like I come from another planet.

[K9Lover]

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Hi Justforme!

You don't sound like you come from another planet. I do understand what you're saying about growing up too fast...I totally agree! I do have to explain the cell phone at age 7, the only reason I gave her one is for those weekends she was at her dads house, because he has an annoying habit of not picking up his phone...so I needed to be able to get a hold of her...I know that may seem like an excuse, but it gave me peace of mind.

I also posted in another thread today that this is the same kid that still sleeps with a teddy bear...and teddy bear and lip piercing should not even occur in the same sentence!

Anyway, the decision is still a ways off, I just wanted to get some opinions, and boy did I ever! Thank you all for your input :h

[Justforme]

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Lovely photo of her! It's easier for me to manage 'at the moment' with my 10 year old. We live miles from anywhere and there is no cell phone coverage. Plus only 25 kids at school so not a hell of a lot of people for her to want to phone anyway! My other daughter (now 23) put us through sheer hell from 13 onwards so I am probably a bit on my guard with the second daughter but she's a whole different personality and will still be cuddling her teddy bears at 13 too! (3 exclamation marks! I've gotta stop doing that!)