Desensitisation to Embarrassment

[Mrs Donovan]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

Bridget and Guitarista

I got a little tear in my eye reading both your posts just there.

This is more than just stopping drinking for health reasons. This is a journey of self discovery, a rebirth and the chance of a new life as a person with pride, confidence and self esteem. Something that has escaped me from my teenage years until this year.

I wouldn't have been able to make this commitment to myself without everybody here at MWO. I really wouldn't. My eyes are filling up again.....:H

[Ringing Cedars]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

Great thread Bridge and comments everyone. Thank you.

I agree...no delete button or wasting too much time on regrets of things done. Need that precious time to do the things we won't regret!

[Mazzie]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

Hi all = great posts, thanks

Stopping the drinking - definitely the first step then comes the hard part!!! but I'm looking forward to the changes happening in myself bit by bit. We are so worth it.

[individualnz]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

Ditto

What a way with words you all have. I will go to work today and ponder this wonderful thread. Trying to live in the present and look to the future would be so much easier if you where not constantly throwen the past in your face! Self Esteem is a biggy, for anyone to master Bridge, but there are some awesome ideas flying around here about it.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

You know, I'm not a huge fan of Madonna, although I do respect what she's achieved.
But I saw her interviewed by Oprah, years ago.
Oprah asked her what she would be teaching her daughter about men.
Madonna replied that she would be teaching her daughter about SELF RESPECT, and that EVERYTHING else would fall into place.
I've always remembered that.

[MyChoice]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

girly wirly;893459 wrote: goodness bbbj

i sooo wish it had a delete button and a rewind button, so i could take a good look at myself whilst drunk. see myself through other peoples eyes. this post really hit home for me. i have no self worth, like you say, maybe i exchanged my self esteem for drinking a long time ago.

thanks for the food for thought!

It is painful to read....but ...(perhaps I am being selfish here) I am happy to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Thank you for your honesty. I feel exactly the same.

[Guest]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

Bridget The Philosopher

Good Morning Bridget and greetings from me and your friends in Cyberland.
You know Bridge, Cyberland beats the hell out of the real world. Here, you are with fellow-travellers, you are respected and admired for your many useful and often light-hearted contributions to our day.

The real world must be endured of course, there is money to earn and domestic affairs to be managed. It is an unavoidable necessity.
Luckily, you can come here where you can define yourself and express yourself the way you see fit. The irritating 'real world' people can be left at the keyboard and can be regarded as outsiders. This valuable escape route can give you a feeling of confidence and perhaps even an air of smugness and mystery as far as the outsiders are concerned.
'That Bridget Jones knows something we don't'
Now isn't that an intriguing thought? Bridget The Mysterious.

Anyhow, I'm right here inside your computer and you can talk to me whenever you like. For good or ill, there are not many who can do that.

[techie]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

I just want to say that this is such a wonderful and thought provoking thread. I hope more find it and contribute. Thank you Bridget. I am still somewhat haunted by my drinking past, but I still hold onto it. It has taught me some valuable lessons about the way I want to lead my life in the now. Oddly, I would not want to completely erase the memory of those days of debauchery, Ok, there are some action scenes that I would like to have edited. But like all of you I want to share my perspective on forgiveness. To me when we can truly forgive ourelves then the healing process can begin.

Healing means getting better, improving from a sickly situation. No one wants to remain out of sorts, ill, not functioning, yet holding onto past stuff means we are actually in that condition. By giving ourselves permission to be normal and, therefore flawed, we can begin to think more positively about ourselves. With this attitude we can begin to mend. Our healing may be spiritual, physical, emotional or psychological. They are all parts of us that need care and attention. They cannot be ignored because they extract a price in malaise if they are. When we are able to be considerate of ourselves, then we can function better in society and begin to be useful to others.

Shedding the negative stuff (what I want edited) from the past is not easy and it requires work. Time, thought, support and patience are all parts of this effort. But, the result is worth it because internal peace is such a valuable asset. We've all met someone who seems to have a serenity about them. Having come to terms with their faults, they attempt to overcome their hang ups and issues, forgiving themselves and not punishing themselves continually. They are good company to be with. It is something to do with putting everything into perspective, considering what is important, what is not and what is something that can be changed. I hope all of us get there?John

[byebyebridgetjones]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

Blue Heeler;893885 wrote: Good Morning Bridget and greetings from me and your friends in Cyberland.
You know Bridge, Cyberland beats the hell out of the real world. Here, you are with fellow-travellers, you are respected and admired for your many useful and often light-hearted contributions to our day.

The real world must be endured of course, there is money to earn and domestic affairs to be managed. It is an unavoidable necessity.
Luckily, you can come here where you can define yourself and express yourself the way you see fit. The irritating 'real world' people can be left at the keyboard and can be regarded as outsiders. This valuable escape route can give you a feeling of confidence and perhaps even an air of smugness and mystery as far as the outsiders are concerned.
'That Bridget Jones knows something we don't'
Now isn't that an intriguing thought? Bridget The Mysterious.

Anyhow, I'm right here inside your computer and you can talk to me whenever you like. For good or ill, there are not many who can do that.

That's an interesting take on it Bluey.
I suppose my exhausted ego would like to see myself as 'Bridget the Philosopher' or 'Bridget the Mysterious'
Being scrupulously honest with myself though, if many of the people who have seen me in action had been polled, they would much more likely rate me as 'Bridget the Fuckwit'.
This is my quandary. We start out, usually early in this country, as young party animals (80's term), drinking our own body weight in Passion Pop, Summer Wine or Blue Nun. We then vomit or perform some other form of spectacular emesis. We survive and live it down.
But in terms of embarrassment, I think the law of diminishing returns applies.
I suppose I'm just shooting the breeze about how we might recover that dignity and sense of integrity.(There are folk out there who do SO love to see our loss of control as a way to assert moral and other superiority.)
Not tipping vast quantities of alcohol down our necks is a great start.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

techie;893901 wrote: .

They cannot be ignored because they extract a price in malaise if they are.

That is a REALLY interesting way of putting it.
I'll contemplate that one further.

[tawnyfrog]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

byebyebridgetjones;893926 wrote: (There are folk out there who do SO love to see our loss of control as a way to assert moral and other superiority.)

Ahhh ... but do you trust ANYBODY who claims they've never made an arse of themselves? Non-drinkers included?

No. I don't want to use the "Delete" button on my past because I'd wipe out the good stuff as well. I DO however, really like the "Draft", "Edit", re-read, "Spell-check", "Refresh", then "Submit" button on my future.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

tawnyfrog;893930 wrote:

No. I don't want to use the "Delete" button on my past because I'd wipe out the good stuff as well. I DO however, really like the "Draft", "Edit", re-read, "Spell-check", "Refresh", then "Submit" button on my future.

Now THAT I can live with.

[one2many]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

tawnyfrog;893930 wrote: Ahhh ... but do you trust ANYBODY who claims they've never made an arse of themselves? Non-drinkers included?

No. I don't want to use the "Delete" button on my past because I'd wipe out the good stuff as well. I DO however, really like the "Draft", "Edit", re-read, "Spell-check", "Refresh", then "Submit" button on my future.

AMEN!

[mario]

Desensitisation to Embarrassment

one2many;893465 wrote: Some things I wish I could delete, others not so much...

I wish I could delete those times when I was drunk and did or said something totally stupid.

But I am grateful I remember those times because I call on them constantly as a reminder when I get the feeling "one won't hurt".

I wish I could get back all that time that I wasted drinking and not living.

But I am grateful that I stopped when I did and that my life now stretches out before me full of hope and promise and I am glad that I can compare the two.

I wish I could delete every single drunken mistake or bad judgement I have ever made.

But I am grateful I have learnt by my mistakes and know in my head they will not ever be repeated again.

I wish I could erase the feeling of shame when I think of drunken incidences of the past.

But I am grateful that I am not longer that person but I have the compassion and experience to identify it in other people and understand insted of judging.

I wish I had had never had a drink problem.

But I am grateful that because I did, I came here and found some of the best friends I will ever know.

I wish I could sometimes bury the dependant, sad, loathsome, depressed mess that I was.

But I am grateful for the happy, confident, worthwhile woman that emerged from the mess....she may have been buried forever, I am so glad I found her again.

I regret the amount of money, time and effort I wasted on alcohol.

But I am grateful now for the quality of my life, the time I now spend with my family and the fact I am building good memories instead of not remembering at all.




At times I wish I could change the past...but sometimes the past changes you...

There comes a point when you're more important than your past.

Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present.

As we grow older, it's not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do. That's why God created tomorrows for us makes things up.

:l:l Bridge.

ditto to above I wont ever forget my past but i wont live in it,its gone & good riddence