I want to share something that happened to me!
I don't know how many of you guys are spiritually inclined but on the recommendation of a friend who has been sober for 8 years I have begun to view my struggle as being slightly out of my hands and in the hands of a 'higher power'. My view on spiritualism is what I would describe as progressive, I am a believer in the constance of energy through us, around us and beyond us and I am happy to surrender to the destiny which the universe will provide in sinc and accordance with that which I open myself up to. No disrespect to anyone else but the traditional notion of God and Heaven is not really for me and I say that as a confirmed but non-practising catholic. I think that Heaven and Hell define how we exist in the now.
I recently started saying to myself that 'my destiny will be provided at the behest of the universe and I will accept the outcomes of my own actions' and other phrases to that effect. I had only been doing this for a matter of 6 or 7 hours when I had the most profound experience!
One of the places I used to 'hide' from the reality of my feeling was in a couple of long-term, co-dependent relationships (this is still a compulsive fix that I need to be aware of). One of these relationships ended about three and half years ago rather painfully and as soon as it did I ended up getting involved with someone else which also ended but on a more amicable note. I never gave myself time to grieve for or heal properly from the first of these relationships and I never had the chance to apologize for some of the things I had done. We went our separate ways and the last I heard she was in Canada (I live in London, UK). The lack of reconciliation was something I was speaking to my therapist no less than three nights ago. Yesterday, I spent some time with a young person with learning difficulties whom I mentor, we were watching football/soccer. On my way home I reminded myself of the spiritual quote and perspective that I had started to practice earlier that day, and within minutes I glanced from my car to the side-walk..... and there she was, my ex! I couldn't believe it. In a city of the 13-14 million people she was standing right there. I can't begin to think of what the chances of that happening were, even the variables are too numerous to contemplate.
I stopped and we talked for a while and I told her that I would drop her an email, and when I drove off I felt so moved I began to weep and when I got home I wept even more. Not so much for the memory of our painful seperation, or the joy at being able to say hi again but more so for the sheer magnitude of the sensation of Grace which I had just experienced. It felt as though the Universe had said, you are finally making good choices, here is a sign that this is the right road to take. It was..... FAR..... FREAKIN'.... OUT MAN!!!!!!!
I'm off to Poland for a few days for my brothers wedding, I'll be in touch if I can get a Wifi connection otherwise I'll touch base early next week. This weekend will be a real test but I think there are a few of those on the way so it's just a case of stepping up to the mark, and asking that higher power for some help!
Peace out my friends!
Johnny.
I don't know how many of you guys are spiritually inclined but on the recommendation of a friend who has been sober for 8 years I have begun to view my struggle as being slightly out of my hands and in the hands of a 'higher power'. My view on spiritualism is what I would describe as progressive, I am a believer in the constance of energy through us, around us and beyond us and I am happy to surrender to the destiny which the universe will provide in sinc and accordance with that which I open myself up to. No disrespect to anyone else but the traditional notion of God and Heaven is not really for me and I say that as a confirmed but non-practising catholic. I think that Heaven and Hell define how we exist in the now.
I recently started saying to myself that 'my destiny will be provided at the behest of the universe and I will accept the outcomes of my own actions' and other phrases to that effect. I had only been doing this for a matter of 6 or 7 hours when I had the most profound experience!
One of the places I used to 'hide' from the reality of my feeling was in a couple of long-term, co-dependent relationships (this is still a compulsive fix that I need to be aware of). One of these relationships ended about three and half years ago rather painfully and as soon as it did I ended up getting involved with someone else which also ended but on a more amicable note. I never gave myself time to grieve for or heal properly from the first of these relationships and I never had the chance to apologize for some of the things I had done. We went our separate ways and the last I heard she was in Canada (I live in London, UK). The lack of reconciliation was something I was speaking to my therapist no less than three nights ago. Yesterday, I spent some time with a young person with learning difficulties whom I mentor, we were watching football/soccer. On my way home I reminded myself of the spiritual quote and perspective that I had started to practice earlier that day, and within minutes I glanced from my car to the side-walk..... and there she was, my ex! I couldn't believe it. In a city of the 13-14 million people she was standing right there. I can't begin to think of what the chances of that happening were, even the variables are too numerous to contemplate.
I stopped and we talked for a while and I told her that I would drop her an email, and when I drove off I felt so moved I began to weep and when I got home I wept even more. Not so much for the memory of our painful seperation, or the joy at being able to say hi again but more so for the sheer magnitude of the sensation of Grace which I had just experienced. It felt as though the Universe had said, you are finally making good choices, here is a sign that this is the right road to take. It was..... FAR..... FREAKIN'.... OUT MAN!!!!!!!
I'm off to Poland for a few days for my brothers wedding, I'll be in touch if I can get a Wifi connection otherwise I'll touch base early next week. This weekend will be a real test but I think there are a few of those on the way so it's just a case of stepping up to the mark, and asking that higher power for some help!
Peace out my friends!
Johnny.
LOVE that stuff!!!
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