just not strong enough yet

[Nobody]

Thanks for the advice guys, but after meddling around with it in my mind, I just cannot go and see my sister. Even though I am the only drinker in my family, (three sisters, one brother, Mom and Dad ) I never am the instigator, it is always my oldest sister. (the one from connecticut) And I still haven't gotten over our last confrontation. I want to but I can't. I know it is probably what I should do but in my current, very turbulent frame of mine, I think I should wait until I stabalize and be sober for awhile longer. Is that wrong?

[papmom3]

just not strong enough yet

Hey Nobody,
I missed your post about this decision so I'm not really sure what the issue is. However, it sounds like whatever it is it may impact your attempts to be AF. If that's the case, you have to take care of YOU first, no matter what. If going into a situation, even if it's with family, could jepardize what you are trying to accomplish, then don't do it. If there was no doubt in your mind either way, you wouldn't have posted so I hope we can help you. There is no right or wrong, except when it comes to what is right for you. Hang in there!!

[rubywillow]

just not strong enough yet

Noby, you are right. Your decision is right . Only you know your own situation, and obviously it is harder than the average family differences. One thing my Daddy told me, long befor it became hip to say, 'Just do the right thing'. For you, it's staying away now. Spend time with the others alone when you can, and don't put yourself in the line of fire yet. It's the right thing.

[greeneyes]

just not strong enough yet

"Do only what your heart tells you" ~ Princess Diana

[tlrgs]

just not strong enough yet

hey nothing wrong with that .. this is your time for you to work on you .. so keep going and everything in time but one day at a time and you will know as time unfolds in front of you ...

[stirly-girly]

just not strong enough yet

Hey No..
Just wanted to say :welcome: and add my two bits here. I did read your other thread and have to say that I disagreed with what Chill and Ruby wrote. I was going to post a reply there when I saw this thread.
I think you are 100% right in your decision not to go. One of the first things we must learn in trying to stay sober is to avoid the "triggers". If a conversation with your sister would be a trigger to you feeling that you need a drink, then avoid it by all means. The forgiving and mending relationships part can come later, after you've racked up a lot of AF days and feel strong enough to face something like that. Good job on your decision. If you want to see your brother, I would suggest that you get together for a coffee somewhere and if you want to see your parents, wait til after sis is gone.
Good luck in your journey.
Stirly..
P.S. I really wish you had chosen another user name. No one is a nobody. Everyone is somebody, no matter how down we feel about ourselves. Since you've only just recently joined, you could rejoin under another, more positive-sounding name. Just a friendly suggestion....

[dancelot]

just not strong enough yet

Your sobriety must come first. You know what it takes, you know what it probably can't take. As others have said, listen to your heart and your own inner wisdom. It says stay home, listen to it.

[rubywillow]

just not strong enough yet

SG is right about my other reply. I was basing things on MY experiences again, forgetting your particular needs. I'm sorry for that. You hang in with what your doing, and don't worry about what they say. Maybe your absence will serve as a wake-up call to them about yur need for change, and support.
:hug:

[Ringing Cedars]

just not strong enough yet

Hi again Nobody,
Just read this. I definitely agree with not going if you feel that is the best thing for you. My immediate family consists of my sister and mother and for years the dynamics have consisted of triangulations and projections. I started pulling away years ago.
Funny thing is that we learned this from example as my mom's family engaged in this type of behaviour since I can remember. My mom's mom facilitated it either unknowingly or otherwise I'm sure at times. It's quite saddening, but I refused years ago to perpetuate it. I only really keep in touch with my one cuz and uncle. They refused to play this game too. Uncle used to say Eaton's never tells Simpson's what they are doing. I sure get it more now.
I guess I was rambling there. Was kinda therapeutic though. Hope I helped you as I think I just helped myself.

[spuddleduck]

just not strong enough yet

nobody... id also like to call you 'somebody'

[Guest]

just not strong enough yet

Nobody Is Perfect

I'd just like to let everyone know that the most successful Australian Rugby Union captain ever was nicknamed 'Nobody'...why? Because: 'Nobody's Perfect.'