Found out my daughter has had sex!

[brittzak]

I just cried. I mean what am I to do? Lock her in a room til she is 18. She is 16 and a half. What did you all do when you found out your child had started having sex? She is already on birth control and says he wears a condom each time too.

[mama bear]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

you calmly talk to her about all the bad things that can happen...I have an 18 year old that I talk to constantly...I have even bought him condoms becuase I KNOW this is going to happen and I think as moms we have to reach them about respecting themselves, their partners, and prvention of pregnancy.
That's just my opinion.....

[Rusty-576]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

When My children started being sexually active I talked about protection of course....but also are you ready for the emoptional part of this relationship....Britt I know you and you will be fine...remember your daughter is a extension of what you have taught..and she has to make her own way. It is hard to let our children grow up..but we give them roots and they have wings.....just be there for her with the open relationship that you have achieved already....Rusty xoxoxox

[OverIt2007]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

Kids grow up so fast these days it seems. I hate to say this, but I think kids have sex even younger than 16, she probably felt alot of peer pressure perhaps.

Like Rusty said, just be there for her and try to keep your relationship close. Controlling her definately wont work. Its good she is using protection! Hey it could have been alot worse! She was honest with you and did not come home pregnant. Maybe this is a good thing in the long run because now you can really have some open lines of communication?

[brittzak]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

I think I am pretty open about sex. It would be nice to say they wait til they are married, but come on...I don't know anyone that waited that long. She is on birth control and she said they always use a condom too. She has NO desire to have kids. It was his first time too. This year she has made the most changes. I am so glad to be able to say I was sober through them all.

[rubywillow]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

I can never compete with my sister here in advice, but my daughter was in college when she told me. She had 2 real boyfriends in her youth. Married the second. I'm afraid I reacted badly, because I despised the boy. That was a mistake. It could have been a bonding, but I was SO upset, because of the history in my family of sexual abuse. Thank GOD, she moved on to my SIL, and now she has a daughter who luuuuurrrrrvvvves boys, at 10! :H So, you talk, you keep the lines open. You express your REAL feelings though. You don't have to condone it. You can make your opinion known, but provide what she needs to be protected.
She's a good girl. I don't know about him. Stay both her mother, and confidante. You WILL get past this time.

[more2life]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

Lisa,
I can completely sympathize with you. I remember when I found ou my son was having sex with his girlfriend. He was 18, but I just wanted to die. Like you, I cried and cried. Big hugs!!

[betty boop]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

Luv, you are a great mum, I cant offer advice as Kerrie is only 13, but big hugs to you and I will be back in a few years for advice from you ......

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[Cinders]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

I can't offer succor but I can offer understanding.

My son was a father at 18. He and she are still together with two children.

It isn't easy. I married at 18 and was not pregnant. I was stupid. He was not.

He loves his wife.

Life unfolds the way life unfolds.

I sit back and watch

Love,
Cindi

[Sunnyvalenting]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

I think your 16 year old daughter has been raised by a responsible mother because she did use contraception and condoms. The average age of sexual intercourse is about 15 1/2 in USA. This age is not dropping. Girls used to sometimes be married younger than that and if you think about it are physically if not emotionally, educationally, or financially ready for motherhood a few years after they reach sexual maturty as evidenced by their regular periods. To expect abstinence in the face of all the evolutionary pressure to the contrary is often unrealistic.
That being said I know we hope our children are making the best possible choices and we long for them to remain children longer than they do. Keep the lines of communication open. Ask her if she has any questions and try to answer them honestly and without hysteria or negative judgment which might push her further away at this tender age. If you don't have the answers or can't talk to her about it get her to a doctor or nurse who can. I know they have resources at family planning clinics which can help her or maybe a trusted school nurse.
As Mae West said "I think sex is here to stay".
Good luck, I feel for you
Sunny

[Doggygirl]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

When I read about these difficult issues between mothers and their children, I so admire all of you who have the strength it takes to get through it! I don't have kids and I'm just in awe sometimes thinking I could never do what you all do!

Congrats to all Mom's.. And may your daughter be healthy and happy.

DG

[greeneyes]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

:yeahthat:

[mario]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

From a males point of view
I have 2 daughters aged 26 & 21,The oldest is living with her boyfriend and have a lovely baby and seem (to me) very happy and contented,The 21 year old has up to recently been living with a bloke,they have broke up now, its hard to kind of take in that they are getting older and starting to live there lives,As has been said times are a changing and the dating game has way new rules now,maybe its hard for us to understand,For me the best thing we can do is educate them as much as we can,even though they think they know it all, remind you of anybody.jsut thought i would share this.:-)

[Popeye]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

On my daughter's 16th birthday, (legal age of consent in the UK) she went out with a friend and had sex with the first guy she met...a stranger.
I know this because she made a point of telling her mum and then me the next day. She was going through a very rebellious phase (which I'm not sure has yet ended) and wanted to shock us. I asked her if she enjoyed it. She said yes.
I wasn't shocked, just disappointed, but I've learned during my 48 years that people will usually try and do what they want.
Watching children grow and make mistakes is painful sometimes and wonderful at others.
My son came in with his girlfriend after a night out and calmly announced that it was bedtime and off they went. His mum was livid....but quiet about it. We guessed that they may be having sex..it's what happens..but the Catholic mother in her couldn't justify it happening 'under our roof'. The next time they both came in and went to bed it was run-of-the-mill. This was maybe 4 years ago and they are still an item.
Is there a right way to start having sex?
How you take the fact that your child is their own person and will make lots of mistakes, despite our best efforts, depends I think upon how much you want to effect who they are. I don't think we can. All I can do is advise my kids; the rest is up to them....and what kid wants any advice from their parents?

[brittzak]

Found out my daughter has had sex!

I can't duct tape her in the closet until she is 21...or can I? LOL She had done little things recently that kinda let me know. I can't really say what those things were, but I just had that feeling. Of course, we all wish they would never grow-up. I didn't flip out. I was rather proud of my response. I teased and told her I was calling her Daddy...LOL (which I'd never do) She is a very good girl. She can be sassy, but all in all....I can't complain.