I read an article yesterday about a woman who was married to a very abusive spouse. Even though he almost killed her, she continued to stay with him. I wondered how someone could allow herself and her children to stay in that situation. Upon reflection I realized that my relationship with alcohol is very much the same. Why do I continue to stay with it even though it is destroying me and my children?
A few reasons why people stay with abusive spouses:
[B]I love him.....[B]I love alcohol (at least I romanticize in my mind that a life with alcohol is such a fun life, a relaxing life, a full life).
[B]He promises to change, that it will never happen again.....[B]Alcohol, my abuser, lies to me and says it will never happen again; I tell myself that I can control this, that it will be different next time
[B]I deserved it.....[B]My self worth has been so diminished by the abuse of alcohol that I end up staying with it to numb the pain; I have convinced myself that things will never change, that I am not capable or deserving of a happier life.
Abused men and women die at the hands of the spouse they will not leave.....and it is a very slow death; a death of self-esteem, a death of zest for life, a death of relationships and in the end, a physical death. Alcohol does the same.
A few reasons why people stay with abusive spouses:
[B]I love him.....[B]I love alcohol (at least I romanticize in my mind that a life with alcohol is such a fun life, a relaxing life, a full life).
[B]He promises to change, that it will never happen again.....[B]Alcohol, my abuser, lies to me and says it will never happen again; I tell myself that I can control this, that it will be different next time
[B]I deserved it.....[B]My self worth has been so diminished by the abuse of alcohol that I end up staying with it to numb the pain; I have convinced myself that things will never change, that I am not capable or deserving of a happier life.
Abused men and women die at the hands of the spouse they will not leave.....and it is a very slow death; a death of self-esteem, a death of zest for life, a death of relationships and in the end, a physical death. Alcohol does the same.
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