6 months sober, but getting harder now

[amashed]

Well I?ve got to 6 months, and that?s great, but I?m struggling a bit now. The memory of my detox and hospital visit is fading now and people who don?t know about my battle are all trying to get me to have a drink and although I haven?t agreed, it?s getting more difficult.

The thing is that I KNOW that I won?t be able to control it. I KNOW that I might manage one or 10 nights out with a couple of drinks but sooner or later I will be back to out of control drinking. How do you keep on the right track?

I can just see myself back to the terrible addiction very quickly.

[IanRankin]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Hi amashed,
A very positive thing here is that you have recognised your vulnerability right now. Therefore you have an opportunity to take evasive action.
Talk to a counsellor/AA/avoid situations where people may offer you drink/keep posting on MWO for support.

Be your own best friend and do yourself the biggest favour ever - do not take that first drink.
Remind yourself repeatedly that you do not drink.

Best of luck
TT

[MF]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Hi Amashed, well done on 6 months sober! :goodjob:

I remember that I found it tricky when I was 6 months sober, the memories of the bad times began to fade and I needed to constantly remind myself how important my sobriety was to me (AA meetings and MWO really helped).

Be careful about situations where other people are drinking; it's still early days (believe it or not!). It's good to have your reply ready (e.g. no thanks, I don't drink now/I've given up) if you do have to be with people who will try to get you to drink.

It's also good to find a hobby/interest that keeps your mind off drinking, and, ideally, involves meeting with people who aren't drinking.

Take care and keep posting!

[techie]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Hi and congrats on your six months. I know too well the temptation out there. It's good to remember why you took on your path to sobriety to begin with. If you were like me, life was fairly miserable. You have learned much about control over the past six months. You need to tap into what made you so successful. Use that going forward. Thinking about facing those morning of horrendous hangovers, wondering what I did, said, and who I hurt keep me from picking up. I wish you well and hope you seriously consider the ramifications of relaspe.

[Doggygirl]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

**CHANGE YOUR PEOPLE, PLACES and THINGS!**

Well, maybe you won't have to, but I did. There is no way I would be sober today if I was still hanging out with people who drink a lot, still hanging out in bars / parties, and still doing things where a central focus is on drinking.

The only way I stay sober day to day is to engage in new hobbies and other activities with sober people in sober places. I occassionally socialize with "normal" drinkers, but NEVER where drinking is a central focus and I'm just sitting there with my thumb up my nose drinking club soda.

AA has been really helpful when it comes to affording me an opportunity to meet other non-drinkers, and engage in some new hobbies and interests. Not that AA is the only way to meet other non-drinkers - but it's one good way.

If you are hanging out regularly with people who are pressuring you to drink and telling you that "you're better now" and that you can control your drinking, then you might be headed for trouble. I would definitely be headed for trouble if I was doing that.

You can't change them. You can only change you. Find some non-drinking friends is my suggestion.

DG

[Cinders]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

amashed,

I recall vividly, and I mean vividly, your last binge, the one that took you down. The one where you went to get help and came back so glad to be out of that hamster wheel.

Unfortunately, the trouble with this addiction is that it does rear its ugly head at incredible moments in our lives.

We do not have an addiction that goes away. We have something we have to deal with the rest of our lives.

That sucks, doesn't it? People in my office were laughing at me for using those words about something I am working on where things are not right, not working and we just have to deal with it.

It sucks.

I wish I could make it so it doesn't.

But, I can't.

However, we can deal with "it sucks."

We die if we give up.

You know this.

I know this.

Let's choose life.

Love,
Cindi

[marriedgirl29]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

3 month itch

I always have had this exact same problem the few times I've made it to 3 months of sobriety. Why is it these milestones are such a hard time to stay sober thru? I hope you hang in there and I can to when I make it to my 3 months this time, which I am bound and determined to do.

[KateH1]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Amashed, I remember at about 6 months sober, I began to really struggle. I was not alone, others in the same sobriety thread that I participated in were going through the same sort of experiences. At times it felt like such a struggle again, much like the early days and weeks. What I realised for myself was that I was "Still Resisting Alcohol" rather than "Fully Embracing Sober Living". Resisting takes a lot of energy, and yes, as Cindy said It Sucks! But it does not have to be like this for life. I know this now. But it does take a shift in our thinking.It means dwelling on Gratitude and Truly Appreciating all that sobriety brings to our lives. Having a true quality and predictability in our lives. Sober Living Does Not Suck! Drunkeness and living life craving our next drink and many drinks and the aftermath of drinking Sucks! Who wants to live that way? That is NOT Living!

Best Wishes!
Kate

[amashed]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Thank you, all of you. I know that this is just the next hurdle but yes the memory of all the bad things is fading and I’m bumping into people I’ve not seen in a while and they all expect me to be the heavy drinking ‘lets get another one’ kind of bloke and there I am, being a bit quieter and on diet coke and its strange for them (and me). But they only did get to see the fun side and not the pain and suffering that came after those nights.

I think I am going to be OK and stick with this but its hard isn’t it? When I stopped drinking a few years ago for 4 months I thought I could beat it once and I could control it, at least I have the wisdom now to know that I will never beat it.

I’m also starting to realise reasons why I used alcohol and yes, looking back, it made things worse (always) but I miss the escape. This is where I have to ‘man up’ and deal with it. It’s a bugger isn’t it?

[girly wirly]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

amashed, what can i say that the others haven't? wise words here which i'm sure you will take on board.

stay strong, rooting for you!


gw xx

[chrisesboy]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

six months

Hi six months is cool. The problem I had in the past with staying sober was the fact that I based my desire to not drink on remorse. As you are finding out remorse fades with time and so did my reason and therefore my desire to not drink. I based it this time on the point of How good would my life be without drink, and it worked it doesn't wear off or fade with time. The other thing I kept up my sleeve was the maxim that there is nothing happening in my life today that a drink wouldn't make worse. That is a great help to me as I always wanted a drink to enhance good times or bad and of course it always makes things worse. The thing with these two touch stones is that they are true real and never change and of course support each other. I had been trying to get sober for 20 years these two simple things allowed me to rid myself of the curse of my life. Hope it helps.

[LibraryGirl]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Chrisesboy, wise words. Although this thread is 2 years old, almost, I am glad you replied. That's a brilliant way to look at it. I too have based my recovery on remorse. That is, the guilt, shame, and general physical bad feelings I was having due to AL. I have often thought since I quit, and even today in fact, why don't they make a non-addictive, harmless way of "escape"? So, it seems I have still not given up on escapism, and keeping that thought will only eventually worm it's way back to AL. And no, I wasn't thinking of exercise, reading, or anything else that's actually good for you, lol. I was thinking of a "new drug" like the Hughie Lewis song.

Like I said, I'm glad I read this. Something to ponder upon.

LG

[DriftyAlison0]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Every now and then I have a problem with someone. I just tell them no and move on. If I feel weak then I stay home which has rarely happened but its out there even after making it 1 year. Just remind yourself on why you quit and where you came from.

[cuckoosnest83]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Hi amashed, just one word, DON'T. Please do not jeopardize 6 months sobriety for a feeling that you could have one. It just isn't worth it and you deserve better than to throw half a year sobriety down the tubes.

[Supercrew]

6 months sober, but getting harder now

Sort of strange that that was amashed's last post in the forum.

Now did he take the advice and quit for good? Or did he give in?

I've heard some say that it gets harder at milestones like six months, but for me the farther I got away from drinking the easier it got. But I knew I was quitting for good. I have to ask myself why would I want to drink?

I know now that it will cause more stress than it will ever relieve....and if you can quit for 6 months after being a problem drinker you can quit forever. The only reason anyone would go back is because they still believe they want it and need it. Well it's a false belief. No one thought they needed alcohol more than me, and come to find out I never needed it, it was just a lie that I told myself over and over for 27 years.