for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

[girly wirly]

how confident of success were you in the very early days?

i'm only on day 2. whilst feeling very determined, i can't help wondering how soon i'll blow it. is this me KNOWING i'm going to fail or is this the norm in the beginning? does our confidence and determination get stronger the more al free days we have under our belt?

gw x

[one2many]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Hi Girly,

In my opinion this is you setting yourself up for a fall, almost giving yourself permission to drink.

"I have failed before so I will fail again" "I am not strong enough for this" " I am not on the Antabuse so nothing bad will happen to me if I do drink"

BE CONFIDENT....not for the long term, not for next month, next week, not even for tomorrow...that outlook can be too overwheming.

Be confident in your strength for today..just for today. I will not drink today...

Know this in your heart when you wake up, today I will be sober....take it hour by hour if you need to but know that you CAN do it.

As time goes on you will grow in your confidence and realise that altho difficult, you CAN do this, it IS achievable.

PLEASE log on here if you feel shaky...DO NOT just give in and have a drink before coming on here....this alone has saved my ass on many an occasion.

Just keep it in your head...TODAY I WILL NOT DRINK.........

Tomorrow is another day to be dealt with then but today is the only day that should be paramount in your mind.

Feel free to pm me if you are having a bad day, it is always good to talk and cravings do pass....a lot quicker than a binge does...

Oney x

[tiptronic_ct]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

I couldn't have said it better than Oney just did.

As bloody difficult as it is, you HAVE to take it one moment at a time... else it becomes overwhelming.

[Guest]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

I tried many, many times over many years to stop. Tending to be a bout drinker every bout was a finish although at the end I was pretty much drinking most of the time. When I stopped this time?I had a jolly good idea that was it, part of that was being very aware I was approaching life in a different way. By that I don't mean I was simply 'being positive' or that I 'wanted to be sober', what I do mean is that for the first time in nearly 4 years I truly understood what ODAT means and applied it. Ok each milestone such as 'Longest sober in 12 months/2years/4years' did reinforce this but remember I'd done 3 months twice 4 years ago - but that time I was really white knuckling.

I agree that you are setting yourself up for another drink, and that is exactly what I did everytime, funnily enough it's also how I planned my binges when bulimic too. Only way I beat both problems was not to think ahead.

My eureka moment was the ODAT thing and the whole idea of that does not allow you to assume THIS is THE time. All that is important is that you are sober right now, this minute, this hour, this day. At any time in the future you might drink again but all that matters is today.

I think it's a bit like being in love, you just know when it happens.

[johnnyh]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Hey Girly,

I've not felt confident in a way that I knew I was going to get to 30 days no prob, 60 days, 90 days. But however, I wouldn't allow myself to consider giving in either. And yes, the confidence has grown. I still take baby steps though. The end of the day keeps being my goal. I don't look forward too much. The thought about staying AF for longer periods in the first couple of days does seem overwhelming but your confidence grows with the number of AF days and the chance of slipping gets ever so slightly lower because you won't want to ruin the AF time you've allready built up.

Just stick your head down and get through it ODAT. Before you know it you'll have some time under belt and grow your confidence. Confidence can be dangerous as well though. Can make you get complacent.

Good luck Girly.

[mario]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

girly whirly;898622 wrote: how confident of success were you in the very early days?

i'm only on day 2. whilst feeling very determined, i can't help wondering how soon i'll blow it. is this me KNOWING i'm going to fail or is this the norm in the beginning? does our confidence and determination get stronger the more al free days we have under our belt?

gw x

Girly whirly you need to work on your negative thinking, start changing from negative to positive,There are lots of posts here by people who have stopped drinking alcohol completely,There some great posts in the long term abstainers thread,check them outalso by dealing with this and taking it one day at a time,you will soon see the days going bye,it does defnility get better but like everything else you have to keep working and chipping at it.You can do it. Don'T quit quitting :goodjob:

[girly wirly]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

thanks everyone,
thats what i feel like, that i'm just setting myself up for a fail. i was just thinking, if today i can manage today, then tomorrow i can manage tomorrow and so on and so forth then if i achieve a decent amount of sobriety time, my train of thought might change and i'd begin to believe in my ability to stay sober. thats my outlook on the ODAT thing. is this right?

[one2many]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Just go with today for the time being Girly..tomorrow does not come into it....Just today.
Try not to look ahead, foucus on the here and now.
Try not to anylise it too much aswell, make it simple on yourself....

I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY....and have your plan in place for staying sober today...

At this time thats all you really need to focus on.

[Guest]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Girly it's all about today, this moment now when you aren't taking a drink. That's ODAT. This afternoon, tomorrow and the next day to not enter into it.

[Guitarista]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Hi Girly,

Great job on your af time, and having a go. Why are you stopping?
Keep this, or these reason's at the forefront of your thinking. Never forget why you are stopping. You either want to stop drinking or you don't. We have to really want it, and we must decide.
We must be decided, pro-active, and positive in thought's and actions. Don't forget your 'Toolbox'.

Best wishes, and go for it!

[Guest]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

G'day Girly. I've just done 30 days. First three were awkward but after that it was a breeze. The reason was that I decided that 30 days wasn't much and I was going to do it come hell or high water. You can do it too, just dig your toes is and say 'I won't'
It gets easier once you know you can do it. One day? OK. Why not 30? What changes?

[betty boop]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

This is useful girly ...........

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I wiil take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests : hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

[one2many]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

FANTASTIC BB!! I am printing this out...

[Funny Girl]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Girly - if you can imagine Sheri's 'hall monitor from hell' image - it should be enough to crack you up long enough to get your desire for a drink to pass! :-) Sheri has all sorts of great tips as do others. BBs Just for Today post is great & I know that I'll be printing that out as a reminder for myself. You can do this - 2 days is a great start!! You're on your way.

[greeneyes]

for those of you with any amount of sobriety...

Girly, One more thing... make the affirmation verbal. Loud and with meaning. Write them down. There is an aspect of the physical and auditory involvement that strengthens them on a very deep level.