Life is an unasked for interruption in an otherwise peaceful non-existence.
Not sure where I first heard this or where the quote comes from but it has haunted my imagination since high school when I first experienced down times. Now, like then, this statement caused me to ponder life and its purpose. In the big life-cycle of the planet we are but a fleck, but it sure did not feel that way as I trudged through this week feeling each day would never end. When someone would notice my down spirit they would kindly offer, ?cheer up, things will get better?. And they are right. Things will get better. But I also know that things will get worse. Or stay the same for a while. And then cycle randomly through all of these patterns over and over again. Those t-shirts that tidily state ?Life is Good? forget to mention that sometimes life is bad and sometimes it is mediocre and a bunch of other stuff in between and beyond.
Looking back at my life I am having been wondering if the good has outweighed the bad. Has it been worth it? When I get to those pearly gates (bold assumption on my part there!), well I ask for another turn, or will I ask to go back to the peaceful non-existence? I have had some great times, no doubt. But this journey with AL has really taken a toll. I envy those who do not have to deal with this demon. I hear those that offer that we all have our demons. Some in this world have suffered more loss and some have struggled with disease or lack of resources to live life as fully as others. But this AL demon is different to me. Somehow a demon self-inflicted screams louder and differently. It screams with shame and guilt that other demons do not carry. And while I am AL free today, I have no idea how long I will be able to stay that way. As Bessie so wisely stated ODAT!!!
Not sure where I first heard this or where the quote comes from but it has haunted my imagination since high school when I first experienced down times. Now, like then, this statement caused me to ponder life and its purpose. In the big life-cycle of the planet we are but a fleck, but it sure did not feel that way as I trudged through this week feeling each day would never end. When someone would notice my down spirit they would kindly offer, ?cheer up, things will get better?. And they are right. Things will get better. But I also know that things will get worse. Or stay the same for a while. And then cycle randomly through all of these patterns over and over again. Those t-shirts that tidily state ?Life is Good? forget to mention that sometimes life is bad and sometimes it is mediocre and a bunch of other stuff in between and beyond.
Looking back at my life I am having been wondering if the good has outweighed the bad. Has it been worth it? When I get to those pearly gates (bold assumption on my part there!), well I ask for another turn, or will I ask to go back to the peaceful non-existence? I have had some great times, no doubt. But this journey with AL has really taken a toll. I envy those who do not have to deal with this demon. I hear those that offer that we all have our demons. Some in this world have suffered more loss and some have struggled with disease or lack of resources to live life as fully as others. But this AL demon is different to me. Somehow a demon self-inflicted screams louder and differently. It screams with shame and guilt that other demons do not carry. And while I am AL free today, I have no idea how long I will be able to stay that way. As Bessie so wisely stated ODAT!!!
ray:
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