the first week was torture the second got a bit easier as I was
coming home from work each day and having nothing to do at 2am
I kept thinking can I drink again should I drink again..
but not having any booze in the house helps!!!!!
The third week I still had huge peaks of anxiety all around
the same time of the day (around 10-2am where I am
used to usually start to have a few).
During this whole time I think it was on my 18 or 19 day I went
out with a girl I met online, then a week
later we went out again (no drinking) a day after I saw her
she texts me saying she doesn't think we're
right for each other blah blah blah... so instead of getting
mad over it like I usually would and give
myself an excuse to go back to drinking I didn't.. I just
stopped thinking about it let it go...
By this point I was already in the gym for a few days so
working out + vitamins + talking to people
here helped..
At day 25 I almost caved cause it was canada day,.. So I said
screw it I have to go to an AA meeting
I personally hate AA I feel like it's a cult trying to
suck you in lol their moto (keep coming back!)
after talking to more and more people at these meetings
some anxiety and guilt which I still hold
over my drinking kinda left me and I felt better around
these AA people (even tho I still think AA
is very hard to get used to).
So tonight after hitting 30 days at least I feel like
I acomplished something even tho it's not
that huge.... compared to people who have been sober
for 15 or 20 years... at least it's a start
Lastly if I CAN do it this long, so can you I am one
huge superdrunk with an insane tolerance
and physical dependance If I Was able to pull this
off with a little bit of hard willpower
and the help of withdrawel medications,
you can do it too believe me.
my head is still a mess but thoughts seem somewhat
clearer with each passing day.
:new: still...... lol :thanks::h
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