Army Thread 6th July

[startingover]

Army Thread 6th July

Listen to what Oney is saying about boundaries
Seems to make sense

[one2many]

Army Thread 6th July

ladyjan;904657 wrote: thats wot I was thinking today when it was at a limit..
I finally found something he didn't like and I had control of ..
I put his chair into the corner and made him sit there until he would sit and eat his dinner properly..

Time out works for one of mine but not for the other.
Grounding works for one and not te other
and taking toys away from the other works wonders.

Trial and error usually and then you find what they hate most and USE it.

[mario]

Army Thread 6th July

Jan this was to be expected, its all knew for both of you

[startingover]

Army Thread 6th July

I was talking to a girl today who was feeling the same as you
She said she had tried all the positve reinforcement, and was now going for the tough stuff

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 6th July

yep it does..
it did work when I did that..and he soon became calm and said "mummy I'll eat my dinner now"

you're right, and I know you all are..
it's just been so very hard getting him to bed and just give me some space as well..
I shouted at him today and knew I shouldn't have..
but I just had it with him taking no notice...

[one2many]

Army Thread 6th July

He really is testing the waters Jan, a very natural thing for a little boy to do....he needs to see how far he can push you to get what he wants....they are clever little feckers and they are all the same.

Time now for Mammy to put on her Mammy head and become the boss......don't worry about upsetting him.....if he needs to be chastised you are doing him a favour in the long run....

He will cry and scream and have a tantrum, even say he hates you...take it with a grain of salt.

He will soon learn that certain behaviours are just not allowed and there are consequences if he does not behave.

[Guitarista]

Army Thread 6th July

mario;904653 wrote: you dont need a fucking drink, you need to stay here and talk and get it out of you, this craving will pass jan

Having a drink is the easy, gutless way out Jan. And you are not gutless! You are strong and proud, and you have worked very hard to get your son back. You are absolutely amazing to me as a person, and a fine example and role model to your son.

As ex drinker's, there are other way's we relax, and chill out when times are challenging.
You know what these strategies are, so use them. This feeling will pass as you know, so be proud, and ride it through.

Freedom, Clarity, Pride.

[one2many]

Army Thread 6th July

ladyjan;904664 wrote: yep it does..
it did work when I did that..and he soon became calm and said "mummy I'll eat my dinner now"

you're right, and I know you all are..
it's just been so very hard getting him to bed and just give me some space as well..
I shouted at him today and knew I shouldn't have..
but I just had it with him taking no notice...

Jan, we ALL shout, us mothers ALL shout, I just posted on FB that I was hoarse today from shouting, my kids were nightmares today.

Nip the bedtime thing in the bud STRAIGHT away. Thats one thing I never stood for was not going to bed...

I spend a full 3 nights with one of them, in and out and in and out putting them back to bed...they lost their treats the next day and I gave the others thiers on front of her.

I did reward the good behaviour tho..that really is paramount.

God I sound like Supernanny..sorry...

[mario]

Army Thread 6th July

one2many;904668 wrote: Jan, we ALL shout, us mothers ALL shout, I just posted on FB that I was hoarse today from shouting, my kids were nightmares today.

Nip the bedtime thing in the bud STRAIGHT away. Thats one thing I never stood for was not going to bed...

I spend a full 3 nights with one of them, in and out and in and out putting them back to bed...they lost their treats the next day and I gave the others thiers on front of her.

I did reward the good behaviour tho..that really is paramont.

God I sound like Supernanny..sorry...

more like super mammy

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 6th July

one2many;904661 wrote: Trial and error usually and then you find what they hate most and USE it.

yep that's the right way...
see I've been seperated from being a mum..I was in a flow with Jamie & Bonnie..then Ollie..
but then all a sudden to be alone..
as much as I desperatly wanted him back with me, I got into a routine living alone
I just gotta adjust back to that..
I know thats sense and very obvious thats the prob..
but it had come to a head tonight.....
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[one2many]

Army Thread 6th July

I wish Mario but thanks xxxx

It really is the hardest job in the world...but the most rewarding (cept for today lol)

[startingover]

Army Thread 6th July

You are super mammy Oney

And Jan you are too !!

Amazing women, the pair of you xxx

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 6th July

I do feel better now tho..calmed down, thx to you guys..
it does help to talk..
I get worried to say sometimes how I feel..
I know I won't drink..it's just that horrid voice that pops in...
why can't it go to hell forever where it belongs..
it's the devils poisen....

[mario]

Army Thread 6th July

startingover;904674 wrote: You are super mammy Oney

And Jan you are too !!

Amazing women, the pair of you xxx

TO TRUE BUT DONT FORGET YOURSELF STARTS

[startingover]

Army Thread 6th July

ladyjan;904675 wrote: I do feel better now tho..calmed down, thx to you guys..
it does help to talk..
I get worried to say sometimes how I feel..
I know I won't drink..it's just that horrid voice that pops in...
why can't it go to hell forever where it belongs..
it's the devils poisen....

Jan, its there to remind us that we arent fallible
To remind us that given half a chance it can take us back to hell

I have been sober 2 years on Friday. I still get pangs sometimes
But they pass. Always :l:l:l