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I have done something bad guys....

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    #1

    I have done something bad guys....

    Hi Guys,

    I am just back from the shops and I have done something that i know I should'nt have.

    I was wandering around the store picking up goodies (crisps & biscuits etc). I passed by a man taking cheapo beer out of the fridge, he STUNK to high heaven, I mean really bad of booze and wee. I involuntarily shuddered as I passed ( I am am so fucking ashamed writing that). He smiled at the youngest minx in the buggy.

    Anyway...I was paying for my stuff and he was behind me in the queue...There was tuts and comments from those behind him. He was obviously in dire need for a drink, he was shaking and kinda dribbling, not pretty...I was packing my stuff into the buggy and he was paying for his cans...he had a handful of change and was counting out coppers...The girl behind the counter was declaring in a superior, condecensing voice.."I SAID...you have NOT got enough money, you will have to put them back " She was enjoying this feeling of power in front of the other shoppers.

    He just stood there seaching his pockets and APOLOGISING to this stupid cow....

    Something just snapped in me, I took 20 quid from my purse and squished it up real small, walked back to the counter and bent down as if I was picking something up and handed it to the man and said "I just saw this falling out of your pocket" He could barely grasp it, he had bad tremors.

    He looked and me and I knew and he knew and I just walked back to the buggy and left the shop. He just looked so grateful. The look on the shopgirls face was priceless.


    I know what I did was wrong and I am giving him money to spend on drink, I just got so angry at the attitudes of people who didn't understand, they just looked at him as something they stepped in and it bloody well broke my heart.

    He could have been a great man once, with a house and a family who cared for him.....there for the grace of God...

    Now I am feeling so guilty, buying an alcoholic drink..how fucking stupid is that.

    All I know is I did what I thought was right at the time and I thought with my heart instead of my head.

    Just had to get that off my chest.
    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

    AF 10th May 2010
    NF 12th May 2010
    Tags: None
    #2
    I have done something bad guys....

    You did the right thing in my opinion, for whats its worth. How dare the shop girl judge that man. When she has walked a mile in his shoes she can make a guess at why he is where he is.
    Yes you bought him AL but I imagine we all know what it is like to be that badly in need of a drink, I know I do. Your act of kindness and understanding may just give that man back an ounce of faith in human nature and a glimmer of self respect and hope. Who knows where that could lead?
    Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

    Comment

      #3
      I have done something bad guys....

      I don't know. Your story brought a tear to my eye. I think you did the right thing. You never know where this man will go in the future. Maybe your act of kindness and empathy pushed him in a direction that will lead to healing. Maybe not, you'll never know....but at that moment, he had a glimpse of something he probably hasn't seen in awhile....kindness from a stranger.

      Its something not often seen or felt by someone so far gone.

      Comment

        #4
        I have done something bad guys....

        I would have done the exact same thing sweetie, except I would have had to say something ugly to the bitch at the cash register......
        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
        Live in the Solution....not the problem

        Comment

          #5
          I have done something bad guys....

          I too would have done the same thing. I can't stand condemndation However the heck u spell it. The man was obviously bad off and how someone can look at a person in such a bad place and feel superior.......alcohol withdrawal can kill.

          As you said, we don't know his history, for all we know he lost his whole family in a horrible way.....he could have a mental illness. Don't feel ashamed of your action feel ashamed of the awful reactions of those in line and the cashier.

          Comment

            #6
            I have done something bad guys....

            Tough one. I would probably not have done the same thing. But however respect that, and why you did it. I think if I'm honest to myself I would have just walked away from the situation feeling angry and irritated.

            I don't think you can say you've done a bad thing or there would have been a right or wrong to have handled the situation as you were feeling compassionate. There might have been alternatives. But who can judge which would have been better?!
            AF since 15th March 2010

            The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

            Comment

              #7
              I have done something bad guys....

              Such an honest post though, thanks for that Oney my hOney.
              AF since 15th March 2010

              The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

              Comment

                #8
                I have done something bad guys....

                You are a very kind soul. Please don't beat yourself up! :goodjob:
                _______________
                NF since June 1, 2008
                AF since September 28, 2008
                DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                _____________
                :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                _______________
                The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                Comment

                  #9
                  I have done something bad guys....

                  Oney, I was holding my breath reading that. Just a couple weeks ago I got involved in trying to help one of the guys I know who is homeless and at this point anyway, helpless when it comes to alcohol. He is actually at a point where without a supervised medical detox, he HAS to drink or will go into seizures. So it's not always as clear cut as we would like to think in terms of providing an alcoholic with a drink.

                  You couldn't stop him from drinking by not giving him money, I suspect. But you stopped him from being further humilated and that is something.

                  I hope we all remember that on some level, very little separates us from the helpless and homeless, especially if we are drinking.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                  One day at a time.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I have done something bad guys....

                    i would have done that too don't be ashamed I know how it feels my God I do
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f8/my-story-some-40119.html My Story

                    AF - 08/06/2010

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I have done something bad guys....

                      I would have done the same thing and like Mama would have probably given her a dose of verbal diahorea!!! You have a wonderful kind heart Oney :l
                      Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        I have done something bad guys....

                        Don't worry Oner's. That gentleman has his own path to tread regardless, and he may well be a great man again. I am.....;-)

                        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                        Comment

                          #13
                          I have done something bad guys....

                          Doggygirl;905086 wrote: Oney, I was holding my breath reading that. Just a couple weeks ago I got involved in trying to help one of the guys I know who is homeless and at this point anyway, helpless when it comes to alcohol. He is actually at a point where without a supervised medical detox, he HAS to drink or will go into seizures. So it's not always as clear cut as we would like to think in terms of providing an alcoholic with a drink.

                          You couldn't stop him from drinking by not giving him money, I suspect. But you stopped him from being further humilated and that is something.
                          I hope we all remember that on some level, very little separates us from the helpless and homeless, especially if we are drinking.

                          DG
                          I agree
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f8/my-story-some-40119.html My Story

                          AF - 08/06/2010

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I have done something bad guys....

                            Great post Doggy girl.

                            I think I would have liked to give that woman a piece of my mind but probably wouldn't have of fear being exposed myself.
                            AF since 15th March 2010

                            The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              I have done something bad guys....

                              Well imo it was lovely what you did and i have done the same especially to old friends who i see quite regularly around where i live.If everyone did what you did--helping others even in small ways that you talked about, then we all would have all that we need! I think your help is never too small to count! Often, when it's done from the heart, that encourages the receiver just as much as the actual gift! Also I firmly believe that you reap what you sow and yes, when you are in need you will receive help somehow! so good for you one2many.


                              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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