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**rubywillow** · July 7, 2010, 10:12 AM

I have done something bad guys....

Oh, Little One, you followed your heart, saw someone suffering who may have suffered much more without a drink at that time. I carry cards with the AA numbers on them, and have offered them sometimes. The man KNEW he was at his lowest point, and the tart behind the counter just wanted to show her tiny bit of authority to someone who COULD have been her. You did something that may not change his life, but will be remembered in his heart.
By the way, a good line for nasty clerks I heard, and have used, is 'You need to remember the customer is the profit, and you're the overhead.'
Your heart is bigger than all the rest of you, honey.

**stirly-girly** · July 7, 2010, 10:14 AM

I have done something bad guys....

Oney. You did the right thing because that is what your heart told you to do. If you had not listened to your heart then you would have done the wrong thing because you wouldn't have been true to yourself.
This thought just occurred to me. A person who has gotten to that man's state, smelling highly from AL and urine, and searching for change to buy the cans probably has not one shred of self-esteem left. To be standing there counting his few coins and have that girl humiliate him in that way would have probably been like a knife in his stomach but then he couldn't just walk away because his body and mind were screaming for booze. He wasn't drunk enough to not understand because he had eye contact with you and you saw the understanding in his eyes. He knew. That man could be sitting somewhere right now drinking a beer, slightly drunk, enough to have the buzz he needs but not enough to have scrambled his brains. He could well be thinking over the kind act that you did and the look in your eyes and it could be just what was needed to get him thinking about his situation and want to do something about it. Get sober, get clean, get living again. He might just be thinking that there is at least one person out there who cares and that thought might be enough for him to turn his life around.
Kindness indeed has it's rewards. And you may get a reward that you will never know about from doing what you did today. That reward could be that in giving him money for AL today, you may have saved him from drinking tomorrow. You may have saved his life. You never know. In this world, anything is possible. So dear, sweet Oney, don't beat yourself up. You did the right thing. You listened and acted with your heart.:h:h
Sorry for the long-winded post but I just had to say what I believe.

**KateH1** · July 7, 2010, 10:21 AM

I have done something bad guys....

Oney, you did not do something bad at all. You did the right thing. No one knows more than we do what this man was going through and that withholding alcohol and making him feel worse than he already felt would do nothing but cause more misery, and perhaps a health crisis. You never know, perhaps you act of kindness will lead to this man finding his way out!

**Croft** · July 7, 2010, 10:24 AM

I have done something bad guys....

It sounds like you acted from you heart. How can that be wrong?

**rubywillow** · July 7, 2010, 10:25 AM

I have done something bad guys....

Also, another thing that's nice to say when you perform some small kindness (and people are SO delighted when we do!) is 'Pass it on'. People may be temporarily humiliated, troubled, by something, but a kindness lasts forever. They make the giver and the given feel better, noticed.

**papmom3** · July 7, 2010, 12:12 PM

I have done something bad guys....

Oney, I know you did the right thing for all the reasons everyone has posted previously. I'm sitting here at work reading this thread and trying not to cry. I have been guilty of looking down on those less fortunate than me and judging them silently. I hope this thread has shown me that I have no right to judge. I hope that at some point, I will be able to be as kind hearted as you and "pass it on". I think I need to start going to church again to regain some humility in my life.
Enjoy the rest of your day with a light heart.
:h

**one2many** · July 7, 2010, 01:18 PM

I have done something bad guys....

Thanks so much for all your kind comments guys, it has been on my mind all day.

I feel better now xx

**rubywillow** · July 7, 2010, 01:20 PM

I have done something bad guys....

Oney, my first tag quote says how I feel about ALL humanity. And you are a wonderful example of a caring, loving, understanding person.

**K9Lover** · July 7, 2010, 01:52 PM

I have done something bad guys....

You did nothing WRONG! What you felt for the man is called COMPASSION...regardless of the situation. You're an awesome person Oney!! :h

**girly wirly** · July 7, 2010, 02:13 PM

I have done something bad guys....

:l

mama bear;905068 wrote: I would have done the exact same thing sweetie, except I would have had to say something ugly to the bitch at the cash register......

ditto... don't feel bad oney. that man could be any one of us in the future. you never know what life will dish out. its those sneering that should be ashamed. i'm also ashamed that i might have probably gurned my face at the smell. it's not right... but it's instant reaction, that's what happens. it's not until we reflect that we realise we are wrong.

well done for such a selfless act of humanity. gives me restored faith that there are good folk in the world. ok, so we shouldn't give an alco money to drink, but, imagine if you hadn't done what you'd done. he could have became violent, got arrested, gone and self harmed... anything. he would have stolen the drink or found the money elsewhere by the sounds of it. at least you reached out with human kindness and gave him a little self respect.

don't beat yourself up. you probably lifted the mans heart at the act of kindness from a stranger.

**sk8punk** · July 7, 2010, 02:15 PM

I have done something bad guys....

I don't think what you did was wrong at all. In a sense only addicts know how addicts feel and their pain. That is why this place is so helpful. We all know what each of us are going through and we don't judge. You did the same only in the real world.

**Miss Behaving** · July 7, 2010, 02:32 PM

I have done something bad guys....

one2many;905452 wrote: Thanks so much for all your kind comments guys, it has been on my mind all day.

I feel better now xx

So you should! I agree with those who have said that you did a kind and compassionate thing. We all know how we can only beat this addiction when we are ready to do it for ourselves, and when we have confidence and hope in our ability to succeed. Punishing and humiliating people just pushes them further into feelings of hope-lessness.

**wannachange** · July 7, 2010, 04:40 PM

I have done something bad guys....

You did the right thing Oney darling, no doubt about it. Follow your heart, well done.

**Ringing Cedars** · July 7, 2010, 04:46 PM

I have done something bad guys....

Your post brought tears to my eyes as well Oney. For this fellows plight and your compassion! God Bless you both!

**Pie** · July 7, 2010, 05:03 PM

I have done something bad guys....

As others have pointed out, you stood up for the guy and saved him from further humiliation. Helping the helpless is a very good thing. Way to go!
Pie

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