Question of revealing oneself?

[Going Strong]

Just wanted some input regarding who you would share this site with.

My son has come back home...he is 34 ears old and was in a bad way when he came back.

He was taking drugs but not drinking now he is off the drugs and drinking.......alot.

This morning he shared that he really wants to stop but is lonely and lost. I so want to help him but he doesn't want to do AA.

Should I tell him about this site? It would mean I would need to delete some posts where I have vented about him.

He is such a lovely, gentle soul when not drinking or drugging.

I just want him to get his life back but am worried he would use this site against me should he go back to his old ways.

Would love some advise on this.

Take Care

Shas

[techie]

Question of revealing oneself?

That is an interesting question. Well you could. Yes you can delete specific posts. The only fly in the ointment is the fact that you are going to feel guarded posting. Is that inconvenience going to inhibit your ability to be open here. Is that going to limit you in your recovery? If the answer is no, then I say go for it.

[sunshinedaisies]

Question of revealing oneself?

Just a thought - but how would he know who you were on this site? Unless you tell him - or you could totally delete yourself and start over under a new name?

[Guest]

Question of revealing oneself?

Delete the posts and change your name. By the sound of things he needs us pretty badly. You know this, and you are his mother. Because of that you must get him on here as soon as you can
Be bold, there is room in this little world for all of us.

[Guest]

Question of revealing oneself?

The next and most important thing is this: ' How do you get him to come here?'
It must be carefully done, the tactic must be just right...it is the 'make or break' decision.
Any ideas? (I have some, of course, but don't know the people involved or how they might react.)

[daybyday]

Question of revealing oneself?

I think you have to be careful that nothing jeapordizes your own recovery first and foremost. If you have any doubts about him being on here then work them out first before doing anything. You can only be responsible for your recovery, if he is 34 he will have to be responsible for is. If this site works for both of you and doesn't make you uncomfortable in the least then go for it, otherwise you need to keep your special place yours. It's not being selfish, it's taking care of the most important person in your life, you.

[Theme2be]

Question of revealing oneself?

Your situation is so delicate~

Your question is about revealing yourself to him?
Reveal your love and support with inspiration. It is all around you.
Possibly weighing the pro's and con's to bringing your loved one into awarness about MWO can be handled with care. So understandable, as these dear ones have mentioned that a protection is needed for your own well being.


I feel thoughtful that your compassion for your loved one is quite a weight already.
The element of trust is a factor, that your son be able to explore and express with complete abandon. As well as you.


So hopefull for you and yours~

[startingover]

Question of revealing oneself?

I think that Daybyday is right, your own recovery is paramount.
And should be looked after first.
If you are struggling, then you are less likely to be able to help your boy.
There are many other support support sites around, maybe introduce him to one of those?
The beauty of this site is being able to be totally open I think
All the best Shas, its a huge dilemma I know....

[Marshy]

Question of revealing oneself?

How about suggesting a different forum?

I like the forum at Sober Recovery SoberRecovery: Drug Rehab | Drug Addiction Treatment Center | Alcoholism | Addiction Mental Health | Directory Substance Abuse Detox Programs which also has a drugs section and there are also more men there. There's also SMART recovery which I know some people here have had success with. There must be others too.

Then he could be open with people there without thinking his mum was looking over his shoulder, and you could stay here without thinking he was looking over yours.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Question of revealing oneself?

Some good advice there guys, I agree, look after your own sobriety first. Thus a different site may be helpful. Good on you for posting a link Marshy.

[tawnyfrog]

Question of revealing oneself?

Shas, this is your private place and has been for a long time. You found it on your own. Let's hope your boy finds his private place and if MWO is it, then so be it.

Take care, matey.

[spuddleduck]

Question of revealing oneself?

thats a difficult one. there is also the problem that if he knows you come on here he will also be guarded in what he posts. there really is no point if we cant be totally honest and open and i think that you both would not be able to talk as freely as you would like if you knew the other may be reading

[hippie37]

Question of revealing oneself?

Only you can decide where the boundaries are and how transparent you're willing to be with your son. If he's still drinking or using then a certain degree of detachment on your part has to be in place for not only his well being but your own. You'll probably already have the answer in you but the loud voices are drowning it out. I know in the past I've needed re-affirmation from others to allow that answer to surface above the louder voices.

Many Blessings
Phil