I let my Giant Beat me.

[dizilizid]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Wow. Thanks jan. One thing i can say is that i'm not hiding behind god, and it would do you good to remember that everyone is a sinner in God's eyes. That's the whole point of why he died on the cross for us. Please don't be a hypocrite. I told my story in honesty for the exact reason of not wantin to hide. If my story cuts too close to your heart for comfort, then in the future, rather don't add your comment. This site is for people like me to be honest and not be judged by the same kind of people as myself, with the same problem. Only god can judge me, so please do well to remember that. Thanks

[ladyjan]

I let my Giant Beat me.

dizilizid;908660 wrote: Wow. Thanks jan. One thing i can say is that i'm not hiding behind god, and it would do you good to remember that everyone is a sinner in God's eyes. That's the whole point of why he died on the cross for us. Please don't be a hypocrite. I told my story in honesty for the exact reason of not wantin to hide. If my story cuts too close to your heart for comfort, then in the future, rather don't add your comment. This site is for people like me to be honest and not be judged by the same kind of people as myself, with the same problem. Only god can judge me, so please do well to remember that. Thanks

Dizi,
I could go into a lengthy reply in defense of your personal comments against me,

but I feel you are obviously still feeling remorse for your actions by putting your childs life in danger, also for having a "slip".....
to intentionally get a 5 litre wine box and drink 4 litres of it, plus beer is not a "slip"..

I do not profess to be cleaner than the driven snow....I am not......

I fucked up as well on my journey to sobriety, but I listened when others with more experience would kick my butt...
as it was deserved....!!

a point of interest..in which point am I a hypocrite.....???????

I did not jeodardize my childs life....

I truly do hope you can beat the demon ..
it is a hard fight to fight..
but fighting against those that wish to help,
is no help to your fight at all....

I wish you well and strength....you can beat it, just focus on that...

[dizilizid]

I let my Giant Beat me.

God is jesus. Anyway, thanks. I will not be comin back onto this site again. I wish you all luck. Cheers. I hope God blesses you all. I don't need this fake world anyway, i hav God who is teachin me and each day i'm gettin stronger. I know that i'll never let myself fail God or my family again. I don't need other addicts puttin me down. That's where you are a hypocrite. God will work wonders in my life. Thanks again.

[ladyjan]

I let my Giant Beat me.

dizilizid;908765 wrote: God is jesus. Anyway, thanks. I will not be comin back onto this site again. I wish you all luck. Cheers. I hope God blesses you all. I don't need this fake world anyway, i hav God who is teachin me and each day i'm gettin stronger. I know that i'll never let myself fail God or my family again. I don't need other addicts puttin me down. That's where you are a hypocrite. God will work wonders in my life. Thanks again.

goodness me diz...
I post to help not to hurt....!!

[mario]

I let my Giant Beat me.

dizilizid;908765 wrote: God is jesus. Anyway, thanks. I will not be coming back onto this site again. I wish you all luck. Cheers. I hope God blesses you all. I don't need this fake world anyway, i have God who is teaching me and each day i'm getting stronger. I know that i'll never let myself fail God or my family again. I don't need other addicts puttin me down. That's where you are a hypocrite. God will work wonders in my life. Thanks again.

Dizilizid just because you didn't like what ladyjan said means that you have to leave this community, we all have our own opinions and we are entitled to say them,That was jan's opinion as she seen it, thats it,nothing more. I hope you don't leave as i do believe that the support & advice we all get here is invaluable, But that choice is solely yours, I do hope to see you soon.

[techie]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Oh come on Diz. I thought we're here to learn and grow? We need to take the some negative feedback along with the positive, You've had a tremendous amount of positive support here. You did however put your child in danger Diz. You seem to want to dismiss that fact. Read your posts. I think that's the rub here. This is the real world Diz. This is the real world that is made up of folks that screwed up their lives with alcohol. Nobody put you down. You're putting yourself down if you walk away like this. Now man up and get your fanny back here!

[one2many]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Wow Dizz,

I honestly thought that you were made of sterner stuff that this..Someone voices their opinions and you run for the hills away from this "fake world"

Face up to life Dizz...you put yourself and your little one in danger PLUS you put every other car and family on the road in danger too....

Yes we may be addicts and have drink problems, so instead of judging you, we understand you and give our opinions.....particularly relevant, I would have thought seeing as we know what it is like when the booze calls our name. None of us are perfect here...

You say you have a God teaching you every day.....ask him to teach you the simple rules of the road....Don't drink and drive...That will be a true wonder in itself.

Grow a pair and cop on.

[ladyjan]

I let my Giant Beat me.

one2many;908806 wrote: Wow Dizz,

I honestly thought that you were made of sterner stuff that this..Someone voices their opinions and you run for the hills away from this "fake world"

Face up to life Dizz...you put yourself and your little one in danger PLUS you put every other car and family on the road in danger too....

Yes we may be addicts and have drink problems, so instead of judging you, we understand you and give our opinions.....particularly relevant, I would have thought seeing as we know what it is like when the booze calls our name. None of us are perfect here...

You say you have a God teaching you every day.....ask him to teach you the simple rules of the road....Don't drink and drive...That will be a true wonder in itself.

Grow a pair and cop on.

way to go hOney..you tell it like it is as well...
too many are afraid to..
all our posts are to help, not hurt as I said before...

[KatieB]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Great post sheri,
Diz - it wasn't long ago I felt I had some "harsh" comments directed at me, and my "slip".. but the people here are truly just trying to help.. and I can see that now - especially where children are involved (I have a son..) - I guess people do feel that they have a responsiblity primarily to help each other, but secondly to help us so we can be well for our children, who depend on us to do the right thing.. I really hope you come back and don't disappear.. there is nothing "fake" about this place.. we are all real people, with real thoughts, feelings and experiences.. and we all care about each other,
take care,
Katie xxx

[Guest]

I let my Giant Beat me.

God Is With US - All of US

Brother Diz. I say this unto you: 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.'

While you are there, remember the admonition in Matthew 5:39:

To turn the other cheek is neither humiliating nor retaliation. It is rather a response of strength that says, ?I will not seek revenge because I am stronger than that?. It also says, I will not respond in shame because I have dignity in Christ. My dignity is not found in if I can hit you back and hurt you. My dignity is found in Christ and I will respond in just the way He would respond.

Consider this Brother, and tread in the path of the Lord.

[stirly-girly]

I let my Giant Beat me.

techie;908791 wrote: Oh come on Diz. I thought we're here to learn and grow? We need to take the some negative feedback along with the positive, You've had a tremendous amount of positive support here. You did however put your child in danger Diz. You seem to want to dismiss that fact. Read your posts. I think that's the rub here. This is the real world Diz. This is the real world that is made up of folks that screwed up their lives with alcohol. Nobody put you down. You're putting yourself down if you walk away like this. Now man up and get your fanny back here!
Hey Diz.
Just want to add my two cents here.
This battle against alcohol is a very tough one. There when we think we've got it figured out, the cravings come back, sometimes strong, sometimes stronger, sometimes overwhelming. When this happens, there are two choices we can make. One is to give in to the cravings and drink. The other is to fight with whatever tools we have at hand. I have to agree with the others 100% on this. And I will quote something that someone else posted some time ago to show why I agree with them..... a "slip" is not an accident, it is a decision. And I will add this from your first post on this thread to back up what I am saying.... your own words....
dizilizid;907647 wrote: I went and dropped my wife off at work in the morning and went straight to the bottle store on my way home. Knowing that she was working a double shift, i knew i had all day to drink. I feel like i had planned this on Wednesday already, just knowing that i was going to be off. I drank 4 liters of box wine and then went out to get a beer and another bottle. I ended up throwing the beer down the drain and i gave three quarters of the bottle of wine away to the Pan-Handlers on the street corner. I know that doesn't change the fact that I drank 4 litres of wine and then passed out on the bed only to wake up 10 mins before my baby's school closes. So i jumped into the car and rushed off, pissed out of my mind to fetch my baby, in the hopes that i wouldn't get caught out by my wife, or the police.
I never got caught by police, but my wife had been trying to get hold of me all day a as i pulled away from the school with my son, she called to say she just saw me leave and that i must fetch her. I was so angry cause i had been busted and i drove off and left her there and tried to get into the house in time to hide all the boxes and bottles etc, but she had somehow managed to get the house keys and i couldn't get in, so i left and tried running away. .
God has taught me my lessons, and this is another lesson. After this all happened, i picked up this book i'm busy reading and it was all about David and Goliath, and how we all have Giant's we need to face in our lives. I also read a story about how God doesn't choose things to happen to us, He gives us the choice and we make the decisions.

From what you've written, you had a plan to drink from the day before and you carried it out. You purposefully drove to pick up your child, knowing that you were driving under the influence and that you would be driving home with your child in the car. You were hoping not to get caught by either the police or your wife. From what you've written, I agree with Sheri - that seemed more important to you at the time than getting your child home safely. And you admit you were angry because you got caught. No where do you mention that you were relieved that you got your child home safely.
Everyone here has done stupid things and put themselves and sometimes others in danger when drinking. You knew from the day before you would have to drive home and still you made the decision to buy the wine and drink it. It wasn't a slip in my opinion. It was a decision, a planned one. Sorry for sounding tough but that's the way I see it.
Then you wrote that you believe that God doesn't decide what happens to us...he gives us the choice and we make the decisions. You made a very bad decision in my opinion. Not because you drank to get drunk but because you drank knowing that you would be still under the influence while driving your child home. I can't stress this enough. You are lucky nothing happened to your child or someone else. I am not criticizing you ? I am simply repeating your own words and saying how I see things.
This forum is about beating our addiction to alcohol whether it be through abstinence or moderation. We come here for support. Part of the support that we will receive will be others reading our posts about what we have done and stating their own opinion, to which they are entitled, as each of us is entitled to our own beliefs. We might not always like what others say but in all fairness, we have to respect it.
I think it is wrong for someone to leave this site because they don?t like what someone posted in response to their own post. In my opinion, you would gain more by reading what has been written by the others and by honestly facing up to what your decision to drink could have led to.

[stirly-girly]

I let my Giant Beat me.

dizilizid;908660 wrote: Wow. Thanks jan. One thing i can say is that i'm not hiding behind god, and it would do you good to remember that everyone is a sinner in God's eyes. That's the whole point of why he died on the cross for us. Please don't be a hypocrite. I told my story in honesty for the exact reason of not wantin to hide. If my story cuts too close to your heart for comfort, then in the future, rather don't add your comment. This site is for people like me to be honest and not be judged by the same kind of people as myself, with the same problem. Only god can judge me, so please do well to remember that. Thanks

Have been thinking this over this and just have to add a few thoughts and questions.
Why is it that when people point out something that we have done wrong, when someone says - hey, you messed up - that we take that as being judged and don't take it simply as someone pointing out to us that we've messed up and stating their opinion about it? Why do we go on the defensive? Because we know we've really made a bad decision, acted on it and that we could have caused irreparable damage to ourselves or someone else but we really don't like to admit our downfall.

And another thing. Again, I am not criticizing or judging but I am stating my own personal opinion. You wrote this...."I feel shit, but i have already been forgiven by my wife and my family and i know that God has forgiven me. I have to say in all honesty that if my husband knowingly drove while drunk and had our child in the car with him that I would not be so quick to forgive. I am not judging your wife, I am stating how I would have reacted to the situation. And I am also questioning whether or not you really know how your wife feels. Perhaps you are hoping to get off lightly after having messed up. I can't really say but I do hope that the next time you decide to drink that your car keys are no where to be found and that your kids are safe under someone else's care.

And I must make one last comment in reference to another post on this thread. A comment made about turning the other cheek. No one slapped you Dizi. Jan and I and others simply, honestly and strongly, pointed out the wrong decision you had made. If you think that's being a hypocrite, well maybe you should think again. If you think that you're being judged, well maybe you should look back over the other posts to see how many people agree that you were really wrong and luckily, not dead wrong, in the decision you made to get drunk knowing that you had to drive at some point. As for your belief that, and I quote... "God will work wonders in my life."I really hope that the "wonders" you are hoping for is not that you can have your child in your car or in your care while you are drunk and nothing bad will happen to either of you.
Now, if you feel that you need to distance yourself from MWO because you can't face the fact that others here are simply being honest with you about your actions a few days ago, then so be it.
I sincerely wish you success on your path towards sobriety.
Stirly.

[Guest]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Stirly, you are a lovely girl, and some of what you say is true, but the ship is sinking. Now is time for the lifeboat, not for a dissection of the causes.

[stirly-girly]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Blue Heeler;909220 wrote: Stirly, you are a lovely girl, and some of what you say is true, but the ship is sinking. Now is time for the lifeboat, not for a dissection of the causes.

Dissection of the causes. Please explain because I really don't understand what you mean by the "ship is sinking" reference either, to be honest..

Most of us joined MWO because we know that we have a problem with alcohol and want to face that problem and hopefully win our "battles" in the "war" against alcohol and in the pursuit of a sober life.

[JackieClaire]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Blue Heeler;909220 wrote: Stirly, you are a lovely girl, and some of what you say is true, but the ship is sinking. Now is time for the lifeboat, not for a dissection of the causes.

I'm struggling to understand you too here, Blue.
Yep I've had to search inside myself for triggers/excuses/reasons to drink. And yes I have planned my relapses with military precision. Down to where,when and how.
I suppose the point I'm trying to make that I never,ever put my children in any danger. We are talking about a childs life here. He was just damned lucky......this time.