I let my Giant Beat me.

[JackieClaire]

I let my Giant Beat me.

With reference to all the God stuff, there is a forum here called 'What We Believe'. We all have differing views so it really so IMHO it really should be kept in that section

[tawnyfrog]

I let my Giant Beat me.

JackieClaire;909248 wrote: With reference to all the God stuff, there is a forum here called 'What We Believe'. We all have differing views so it really so IMHO it really should be kept in that section

I totally agree, JC.

[tiptronic_ct]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Me too.

[mollyka]

I let my Giant Beat me.

I agree very strongly with JC and others since, I find the constant references to 'God' extremely uncomfortable - there is a place as she says for religion and on the general threads it feels inappropriate to me.
In relation to driving a child with 4 litres of wine in you I cannot even find a comment that would not be offensive. Like others have said, we are all troubled by alcohol to some extent, but............ I haven't got the words.
I too wonder what you mean BH?
Molly

[YellowShine]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Don.t let these people bring you down diz. You people are all disgusting. The only one i have respect for is mario. He's the only one who gave support and never made things worse. You should all feel ashamed. Dizi needed your peoples help and you all ganged up on him and what help is that. Now you've probably lost him for good. When katieB ended up in hospital did you all treat her like this? Anyway. I hope you come back diz. And may God bless all these people here. They really need to be blessed.

[YellowShine]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Blue healer you were also a true friend to diz. God bless you.

[not tonight]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Yellowshine,
no one has ganged up on Diz. To over look the fact that he drove his child after drinking 4 liters of wine plus beer and a quarter bottle of wine would be irresponsible. Giving support to an alcoholic sometimes means calling them out on behaviours or actions that are dangerous to themselves and others. Anything less would be whitewashing the problem. I only hope that if I ever have a relapse and end up driving my children under the influence that people on this forum will have the courage to call me on it. Facing up to such actions is not easy, no one wants to look themselves in the mirror knowing that their drinking endangered the life of their child and others on the road. But until one faces up to those actions, well there can not be true recovery. Everyone here cares deeply for Diz, and only wants the best for him.

[Guest]

I let my Giant Beat me.

This forum is about stopping drinking. We are not here to 'stroke' each other softly - which unfortunately sometimes happens or seems to be expected.

This is serious stuff here and it is about saving lives. I remember being told things like this when I was relapsing and thinking they were being harsh, uncaring etc.I can now look back and see what they were saying was right, absolutely correct and if I'd been able to see through that alcoholic way of thinking I would have avoided all the sh1t I had to go through.

I don't post on a lot of threads because I know what I've got to say would be taken the wrong way - and it's also why I haven't contributed on here until now.

All I can see is that the OP is justifying his drinking and using God to do so. I'm not a christian however I do believe there is something out there looking after me. I don't however believe if I were to drink again that I would be looked after - simply because the world doesn't work like that. Heck right now I could have good or bad luck walking across the road, sober or not - but if I were to drink I'm stacking the odds for potential harm to me an others in the wrong directions.

We are masters of our own destiny here. Everyone wants to help but if we see someone doing something harmful we are going to say things out of concern - not out of nastiness. To give a person who has just risked the lives of not only himself but those of others, and thinks it's ok because God must be looking out for him a pat on the back would not be ethical or sit well with most of the posters on here. In fact we'd then be guilty of not caring what you do.

[one2many]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Wind yer neck in Yellowshine...what do you want us to do??

"Oh it's ok Dizz, you soberly PLANNED to go get drunk, while KNOWING you had to go get your son...thats no prob, dust yerself off, get back on the wagon, you had a slip!"

ASK MY ARSE!!!

Dizz didn't even drunkenly make the decision to go get his child, he planned it SOBER????

And as for us not calling Katie B out on when she was in hospital...the only person Katie harmed was herself...she did NOT drive drunk with her child in the back putting everyone INCLUDING innocent people on the road in danger.

We already lost a very dear member here who was killed by a drunk driver and NO, there are NO excuses ..


There is no place for the softly softly approach here...

Dizz needs to face up to what he did and stop hiding behind a God that he claims is going to work wonders in his life??


If he wants to meet God face to face, he is going the right way about it.

[dancelot]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Being truly, 100% honest with ourselves. Facing up to our actions and taking full responsibility for them. Looking even the most ugly, horrible hideous parts right in the face. Facing the fact that even if the consequences weren't "as bad" this time, seeing and believing what they could have been. Sounds to me like a wake up call (maybe from God - God forgives, but maybe he'd like you to appreciate that he bailed your ass this time, and see it as a sign....).

I'm guessing your defensiveness is because you know what LJ, Sheri, and Stirly say is true, and it cuts deep. Sometimes the truth hurts (I know this well, as does everyone here). I will have a year sober in less than a month, and I credit it to MWO, but especially the people who were straight up honest with me about what it would take. Yes, I was grateful that everyone understood, forgave, etc, and took comfort from that. But I am sober because of the hard liners. They had done it and I knew if I wanted it that was the way to go.

Take credit for the time you had AF, but be honest, start over at day 1, or you're setting yourself up for the "oh, that's OK, it's no big deal" BS talk. There is a difference between not beating yourself up and being a whiny ass. We are all adults, right? Take responsibility for it, then proceed from there. Without doing this, we have little chance of ever being truly sober.

I do wish you the best, and I'm betting you know inside how serious this is. I also know you can take this unfortunate experience and use it as a catalyst for positive change, if you choose too. Please take care.

[tiptronic_ct]

I let my Giant Beat me.

I used to drive drunk with my kids.

It ended immediately when I found MWO (more than a month before I joined up and started posting) and the harsh reality hit home. It was one thing for me to self-harm. Quite another to put others in harm's way. WTF was I thinking??? I still ask myself that question and its the one thing I haven't forgiven myself for.

I never got into a vehicle whilst under the influence again, despite the fact that it took me another 4 months to finally get sober and stay sober (it will be a year in August).

There are no excuses. Period.

[stirly-girly]

I let my Giant Beat me.

YellowShine;909380 wrote: Don.t let these people bring you down diz. You people are all disgusting. The only one i have respect for is mario. He's the only one who gave support and never made things worse. You should all feel ashamed. Dizi needed your peoples help and you all ganged up on him and what help is that. Now you've probably lost him for good. When katieB ended up in hospital did you all treat her like this? Anyway. I hope you come back diz. And may God bless all these people here. They really need to be blessed.

YellowShine, everyone is entitled to their opinion. That is a basic right of every constitution of every democratic country in the world as is the right of everyone in those countries to practice or believe in whatever religion or non-religious practice they want to.
In saying that I am trying to emphasize that this is an open forum and each of us is entitled to state their opinion. For the most part we joined MWO to help ourselves fight the battle with alcohol and when you join an open forum you are bound to hear all kinds of opinions. And all kinds of advice. Some people here give a little pat on the head and "that's okay, you can do better" type of advice and some people state their opinion and advice in a stronger fashion. But be sure of one thing. If you want to get rid of the AL beast in your life, there is no room for a pity party. It does no good. What does good is a pat on the back when you need it and a kick in the butt when you need it.
In Dizi's case, and in this particular incident we are talking about a man who, in his own words, deliberately bought and drank 4 LITRES of wine knowing that he had to go and get his child. He then proceeded to go out and buy yet more wine and beer. Came home. Slept for a while and then went to pick up his child, in his own words, "pissed out of his mind". If you read his first post on this thread really well, you will sense that he was more afraid of getting caught by the police and angry at getting caught by his wife than he was remorseful for the fact that he drove drunk with his child in the car.
I go back over posts and check what people have posted in the past. This is what I found and it shows that Dizi's "slip" the other night was a repeated performance of just a few days ago. The only difference is that the last time he was alone in the car. That certainly didn't make him any less dangerous for other drivers or pedestrians on the road at the time.
Am I judging him? Am I criticizing him? Yes perhaps I am. I have gotten pissed blind drunk but I have never put another person other than myself in danger and certainly not my kids. And I never, ever planned on getting drunk knowing I had to care for a small child while I was drinking and then drunk. This is what I found and it reinforces what I have written so far...

4th May, 2010dizilizid;848099 wrote: Hi. I'm feeling totally lost and down. I drank a lot last night. I spent an awesome day with my wife, and we were having such a wonderful day, and when i left home to go back to my moms place, i somehow decided to stop for a beer, which turned into 6 or seven and i was so drunk i was hardly able to drive. I was throwing up and felt like i was gonna die. When my wife called me, i tried hiding it, but i couldn't even talk properly. Now she's told me i've let her down for the last time, and she never wants to see me again. And she's taking my 1year old son. This has scared me into submission. I need to stop this. I need that mind set change to happen right now. I'm feeling really low, and i'm in tears. I can't stop myself from drinking. I need an Aha moment. Someone Plz try make the penny drop for me. Bombard me with advice please. I really need it now. I want to win, and be AF.e>
Then we have a post from you on the same day. What I'm seeing here are two men who have wives and families and have a problem with drinking but don't want to face up to their responsibilities. I'm sorry, but that's what it looks like to me. Again, my own opinion. Others here may disagree with me. That's their right.

May 4th 2010

YellowShine;848257 wrote: I'm goin through the same thing. No one understands. They all just blame me for being irresponsible. My folks, my wife, everyone that i thought would stand by me. They all think i'm doin this on purpose. But they don't understand hey Dizi. They can't. We can help each other, and these people on this site know what it's really like to be like us. To new beginnings to both of us. AF LIVING FROM NOW ON. Ciao
Then again you post...

May 4th 2010

YellowShine;848245 wrote: Hello. I have a lot of pains inside my body. I slipped up last night, but really went over the top. Now my entire body is aching and my kidneys feel like they're burning. My insides are very tender. Today is day one for me. And i've had somethin click in my head. I don't want to drink anymore. I spit on alcohol. SPIT SPIT! I can and i will make my life better through AF Living. From today i turn over a new leaf. I'm gettin off my ass, i'm gonna stop feeling sorry for myself, and i'm gonna kick AL in it's ass. I must stay positive and believe in myself. I must love myself more. I must learn everything i can and live what i learn bIg Up to all you sober people out there keep it up.

You are in your own words, harming your body to a dangerous extent. I have done the same thing. That is your right. But to put other people at harm is not. And to knowingly put your own child at harm is beyond my comprehension.
Am I coming down hard on Dizi? Yes I am. Because he's done it before and my bet is he'll do it again if he doesn't face up to his responsibilities as far as his drinking.
I have just seen Tips post that he can never forgive himself for drinking and driving with his kids in the car. At least he is being 100% honest about it. Very few people who have done so have actually owned up to it and said how much they regret it.

And as for your post to which I am now replying, you say that we need to be blessed. Maybe we do. But what about you? In all the posts in response to this thread started by Dizi.... the only insulting words were written by you and I quote....

YellowShine;909380 wrote: Don.t let these people bring you down diz. You people are all disgusting. The only one i have respect for is mario. He's the only one who gave support and never made things worse. You should all feel ashamed. Dizi needed your peoples help and you all ganged up on him and what help is that. Now you've probably lost him for good. When katieB ended up in hospital did you all treat her like this? Anyway. I hope you come back diz. And may God bless all these people here. They really need to be blessed.

Then you say that Dizi needed our help. He needs help from a lot of people. Problem is he only wants the kind of help that gives a pat on the head, not a kick in the butt. Tough Love is not the kind of love that our Dizi seems to understand. Nor do you, for that matter.

I apologize to the other members of MWO for my wordy posts today but it seems we have to point things out word by word sometimes to get our point across.
I would like to say that I won't reply again to a similar post that YellowShine has made but I probably will. I'll keep pounding on about it til the people who need to listen, do so.

[dizilizid]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Ok everyone. I just want you all to know that i was never dismissin the fact that drivin with my child was a very stupid thing to do. I do feel really shit about it and i know it was very bad and wrong. But my post was honest and i just didn't need to hear it all right then. I was already feelin shit enough thanks. You guys all talk about freedom of speech and freedom of religion but then tell me to stop talkin about GOD on this thread. I don't care what you all think or believe. I believe in Jesus and i know more about the truth than you all do and i know there's no point in arguing with non believers. Just don't tell me not to talk about my God. Just cause you don't believe doesn't make my belief somethin for you all to throw back in my face. I agree, i fucked up and i do feel regret and remorse and shame and every other feelin in the book. I feel crap for what i did. I'm just pissed off cause you hav put down my God and made fun of my religion. I am very used to tough love, but you all act like you've never done somethin this bad. Anyway, i don't want to fight and i actually don't want to come back on this site. This site was meant for us to air our thoughts and our guilt and our struggles and fuck ups without feelin like we'd be judged. Yet you all hav. I also realised that the two boxes of wine were only each a liter not two, so i had two liters of wine and i never drank the beer and i never ended up drinkin the other quarter of wine cause i fell asleep before i could. Anyway, i'm not tryin to justify what i did. I drove drunk with my kid and that was very wrong. I hope you all keep well and good luck. I'll be prayin to God that he stirs in your heart somehow. Cause without him, life and all of this is meaningless anyway.

[Ringing Cedars]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Diz....I believe you know what you did was completely wrong with all your heart and have no intentions of doing it again. But for the grace of GOD, there go I! I will not cast any stones!!!

My total respect to you Mr. Blue as always......

[not tonight]

I let my Giant Beat me.

Dizi,

I am sorry that you have decided to leave the forum. However the views expressed on this thread were in no way an attack on your religion. They were out of concern for you, your child and the safety of others. Driving drunk is not only stupid, it is criminal.

A friend that only provides words of comfort, rather than challenging destructive behaviour is not a supporter, but an enabler.

I would encourage you to print off your posts from today, and from the 4th of May and keep them on your person or in your car, so that the next time you have a "slip" you may think before you get behind of the wheel of a car.

Wishing you all the best in the future.