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    You just didn't get the message....

    This is a true story about alcohol and driving. For those of you who agree that it?s okay to drink and drive, don?t bother to read on. For those of you who disagree with some of my recent posts on a thread which involved driving under the influence, don?t waste your time reading this either. Because none of you got, or will get, the message.

    In July 2004 a young man 28 years old was at a party at his fiancee?s home which is located outside of Athens. From what we learned later, there were about 25 people present, all adults. By adults I mean the young man, his girlfriend and their friends, plus older people - the girl?s parents and some of their friends. They were all drinking, some more, some less. The young man didn?t drink often but when he did, he drank to excess. He was drunk. Not fall-down drunk, but drunk. it was about 3:30 am, and he decided to drive back to his apartment in the centre of the city ? a distance of about 20 miles. His fianc?e and friends and family tried to convince him to stay the night and sleep it off but he was adamant and insisted on going. He had to get up early in the morning to go to work and wanted to wake up in his own place to avoid the drive to the city in the morning. So he got in his car and left. Shortly afterwards, four friends got in another car and went to follow him to try and convince him to let one of them drive him home. They caught up with him about 10 miles down the road and tried to get beside him in order to signal him to pull over. They couldn?t because he was driving so fast and swerving on the road and they were afraid to pull up beside him in case his car hit theirs. At some point he lost control, the car hit the protective bars in the middle of the road, spun around three times and crashed into the back end of a tractor-trailer that was parked on the side of the highway. The back corner of the tractor-trailer smashed through the driver?s window and hit him on the temple. The crash was so hard that his watch and shoes flew off and the seat belt ripped. Death was instantaneous.
    I have never and will never understand why there wasn?t just one adult present who had the guts to stand up to him and take away his keys. Punch him in the mouth if that?s what he had to do to, to get the keys from him. But no one took the responsibility because everyone just assumes that it?s okay to drink and then drive. They always think that everything will be all right and the person will get home okay. Worst that could happen would be that the cops would stop him and he?d get a fine or spend the night in jail. This young man didn?t. He spent what was left of the night in the morgue.
    That?s where we went the next morning to claim his body. His mother is my husband?s sister. The young man was our nephew and was their only child.
    I went into the morgue to identify him and I will never forget that day. We arranged for the funeral parlor to come and pick up his body and drive the casket to his parents? home where it would rest for family and friends to visit until the funeral in the late afternoon. I will never, ever forget the scene of him lying in the casket in his parents? living room and the low wailing sound his mother made from time to time as she stroked his face and cried. Nor the look and sound of his father crying out ?Why?, why our son?? over and over in his disbelief that their only child had been taken from them.
    At the time his father was battling lung cancer. He had done several rounds of chemo and had just had a new set of x-rays and blood test done that showed that the cancer was in remission. He called his son that night to tell him the good news but couldn?t get him as his son had left his cell phone in the car. After our nephew?s death, his father gave up hope and the will to live. He went back to smoking and hanging out late with his buddies and drinking. Anything to not be home and see the many pictures of his son that were in all the rooms of their home. The cancer spread to his brain and 15 months after his son died, he died also, leaving my sister-in-law alone in a city far from here, to grieve the loss of her son and husband.

    As most of you know, there was a thread the last couple of days that involved someone drinking and driving. Many of you were outraged by some of the posts made by myself and other members here at MWO about the fact that the driver was drunk and put his child in danger and that it was a very dangerous thing that he did. You just didn?t get the message. Your reactions to our posts were that we ?ganged up on? him and ?crucified? him and slapped his face and so on and so on. You just didn?t get it. The message from all of us, whether it was stated as politely as you would have liked or not, was this?.DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS. PERIOD.
    For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
    AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

    #2
    You just didn't get the message....

    THERE IS NOT ONE PERSON WHO DID NOT GET THE MESSAGE OF THE DANGERS AND FATALITIES OF DRINKING AND DRIVING.

    WHAT WE DID NOT GET NOR ACCEPT WAS THE SANCTIMONIOUS WALLOPING MESSAGE DELIVERED.

    I WISH YOU PEACE AND MERCY

    Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


    St. Francis of Assisi

    Comment


      #3
      You just didn't get the message....

      Hi Stirly,
      Thank you for posting this. I personally agreed with you and others on the other thread. It was not an attack or a "crucification" as some claimed it to be. Nobody was attacking anyone. It's time to quit coddling people that voluntarily put other people's lives in danger. It's NOT ok, period. While we appreciate people's candor and honesty on these threads, they should also be prepared for the reprocussions. The truth is often difficult to face. I believe the comments made were truly in the best interest of the person that originally posted, unfortunately, the truth really hurts sometimes, and some people just can't handle it.
      K9

      p.s. Seems the people that got most offended or felt an attack was taking place are the people that have yet to make a firm commitment to being AF themselves.
      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

      Comment


        #4
        You just didn't get the message....

        Thanks for posting this, Stirls,
        A powerful message for all of us young and old. I can hear his mother crying in my mind.
        J x
        :l
        It could be worse, I could be filing.
        AF since 7/7/2009

        Comment


          #5
          You just didn't get the message....

          It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

          ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker



          Fair play to you for posting that Stirly.

          I think there are people who do not get the message...even still.....sad but true. I just hope that they never lose anyone close to them in a drink driving accident....thankfully they are few and the majority of people on the site "Get it".

          I also want to point out that it was also the flippant attitude of the poster involved that warrented the replies that he got....that and the God issue...

          Thank you for your powerful and important message.....we should never ever stop drumming it into peoples heads...




          p.s. Seems the people that got most offended or felt an attack was taking place are the people that have yet to make a firm commitment to being AF themselves


          EXCELLENT point K9!
          "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

          AF 10th May 2010
          NF 12th May 2010

          Comment


            #6
            You just didn't get the message....

            Stirly,

            Thank you for posting this. I lost a childhood friend to a drunk driver. He was 27 years old, and at the time his wife was 3 months pregnant with his daughter. It is the most preventable death! My father will still get behind the wheel of the car after drinking, and we have had several rows about it. This is not because I was sanctimonious about anything, drunk driving kills, period!
            While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.
            Benjamin Franklin

            Comment


              #7
              You just didn't get the message....

              I think you hit it on the head more than anything Oney.....the God reference seemed to strike the crowd mentality here.

              AGAIN--THE POINT THOSE TRY TO MAKE IN CALLING THIS A LYNCHING WAS MERCY.

              DON'T EXPECT HONESTY FROM ANYONE FOR FEAR OF BEING CRUCIFIED.

              And K9 please do get your facts straight. I am the one who has not committed to complete sobriety. So please edit your statement to say "person" or delete the whole thing because I was not the only one and the others are committed to complete sobriety. And for the 5th(I don't mind standing corrected)time WE GET IT AND DON'T CONDONE DRINKING AND DRIVING.

              May you all learn MERCY

              Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


              St. Francis of Assisi

              Comment


                #8
                You just didn't get the message....

                Stirly
                Thank you for posting this
                My dad used to drive drunk with me, it was one of the most terrifying experiences I have had.
                Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                Comment


                  #9
                  You just didn't get the message....

                  I really don't wish to be in a pissing contest with any of you. Peace, safety and mercy of all things to you all.

                  Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                  St. Francis of Assisi

                  Comment


                    #10
                    You just didn't get the message....

                    startingover;910100 wrote: Stirly
                    Thank you for posting this
                    My dad used to drive drunk with me, it was one of the most terrifying experiences I have had.
                    So did mine Starty, and it one of the things that sticks in my memory the most....My Dad coming top speed into the driveway, pulling the brakes and passing out at the wheel with us kids in the back.

                    Fucking Horrible.
                    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                    AF 10th May 2010
                    NF 12th May 2010

                    Comment


                      #11
                      You just didn't get the message....

                      one2many;910111 wrote: So did mine Starty, and it one of the things that sticks in my memory the most....My Dad coming top speed into the driveway, pulling the brakes and passing out at the wheel with us kids in the back.

                      Fucking Horrible.
                      Makes me shake just thinking about it.....
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment


                        #12
                        You just didn't get the message....

                        Firsty well done Stirly on starting this thread because I think the subjet warrents to be discussed openly,
                        not only just about the danger of drink driving
                        But also to the pure & caring meaning behind the reponse given to a member new or old that posts in MWO,

                        even more so starting a thread, it's noticed immediatly telling openly of their actions.....

                        Why should the response just be a pat on the back, pick yourself up and just put it behind you.....bullshit.......

                        The depth of the action also should be brought into acount, not just the fact alcohol was drunk....

                        If the replies were to be correctly read, it is clear to understand that, it was NOT the fact of a "slip"

                        it was the intentional act of puting an innocent baby child in danger, and others on the road...
                        and worse more his own child, that was the matter that was replied to....!!

                        NOT to alcohol consumption.......

                        coz 99% of us are recovered,recovering, fighting or just starting to fight it alcoholics...
                        I live in a glass house as far as alcohol is concerned so I am the last to thow stones at another alcoholic..............

                        My replies are meant with pure heart and no ill intent......

                        why should I waste my time to be insulting or critising someone....

                        that is not my reason to continue my attachment to this site....
                        old saying.."Truth hurts"...

                        Ringing Cedars;910079 wrote: THERE IS NOT ONE PERSON WHO DID NOT GET THE MESSAGE OF THE DANGERS AND FATALITIES OF DRINKING AND DRIVING.

                        WHAT WE DID NOT GET NOR ACCEPT WAS THE SANCTIMONIOUS WALLOPING MESSAGE DELIVERED.

                        I WISH YOU PEACE AND MERCY
                        In my honest opinion Diz didn't get the message we all tried to send him....he was in personal defense and attacking those that told him like it is...
                        there was nothing sanctimonious about the deserved remarks....
                        not at any one time, until the end did he say anything of recognition or remorse, for his intent to drive drunk with his baby child..
                        I think you would be wise to read K9's wise words..........

                        K9Lover;910084 wrote:
                        Seems the people that got most offended or felt an attack was taking place are the people that have yet to make a firm commitment to being AF themselves.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          You just didn't get the message....

                          Great post Sheri....Thank you
                          "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                          AF 10th May 2010
                          NF 12th May 2010

                          Comment


                            #14
                            You just didn't get the message....

                            Sheri, thank you so much for your post. You just stated again what I have been trying to get home to people for the past two days in my admittedly very long-winded posts.
                            It is simply unacceptable to drink and drive and put other people's lives in danger.
                            For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                            AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              You just didn't get the message....

                              I removed my post as I foolishly replied,
                              sorry guys to have bitten.....Grrrrr
                              I should've learnt from the past....
                              keep the thread on track, it has an extreemly valid point....
                              and should be discussed..

                              Comment

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