The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

[KatieB]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Well put, Techie,
I think it's easy to be misunderstood.. as we can only type how we are feeling, and cannot visibly see each other.. plus we all come from different backgrounds and cultures..
but well said for putting this point across.. conflicts over controversial subjects are going to happen, but we still all need to treat each other with respect and remember the reason why we are here..

[ladyjan]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

techie;910123 wrote: If you disagree with me please reply using comic sans MS in bold red!

This was obviously for my attentiom....
My posts have only ever been written with good heart and not to attack or judge,
I'm sorry if my use of the red comic sans offended..
I only used it as fun at first and then it was just my way to write in the forum, sorry it upset people or some have mistaken my intent by using the colour and script type as to be aggresive..
I won't be using it or posting again......

[techie]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

ladyjan;910479 wrote: This was obviously for my attentiom....
My posts have only ever been written with good heart and not to attack or judge,
I'm sorry if my use of the red comic sans offended..
I only used it as fun at first and then it was just my way to write in the forum, sorry it upset people or some have mistaken my intent by using the colour and script type as to be aggresive..
I won't be using it again......

OMG NO it wasn't Jan I"M SO SORRY...I used the comic sans comment to lighten the tone after my message. Oh Jeez, I did not even think about your post. PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY. My god we are tearing ourselves apart. I could have said purple. I think we are on the same side of the issue here!? John

[sunshine_gg]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Well said, techie - thank you.

Aside from the obvious potential for misunderstandings when we only read 'cold text' I would like to point out that, as you said

It begs the question, why are we here? To get support and feedback, and share our experiences?

- when one asks for feedback, sometimes that feedback may not be what one expected or wanted to hear/read.

And, that part is no different in the 'real world' - on the phone or standing toe to toe. People WILL have different opinions, views, and different ways of articulating such. And, that should be Ok and ENCOURAGED. This community would be not only boring, but hardly very helpful, if everyone tried to please everyone else and agree with every post or group opinion.

As long as we all can agree to disagree at times, but do so in a polite and respectful manner we will continue to help each other along. 'Nuff said.

Lady Jan, please don't change your font size/color/face! Just wouldn't be you!

Now... among ALL other things, BB is proving to be collapsible, too? :H

[Ringing Cedars]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Your are so cool Sunshine,. That's why I stayed in the first place!!

[Ringing Cedars]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Techie...good try...I hope you are happy with your new found placement.

[Guest]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Au Revoir

Here's my two cents worth Techie.
Firstly, congratulations on your mastery of the Blackberry. I do consider these things to be a tool of the Devil (hold on, more to say about this later) and a cruel and unusual affliction for those of us who have normal sized fingers. Mind you. There may be some light in the darkness here. I was contemplating a new forum rule."Anyone convicted of posting more than one novella a month shall be sentenced to six months posting via unenhanced Blackberry." There might also be some lesser penalties for those who construct their posts in 'Word' and enclose too many extracts and quotes for comfortable reading.
And, while I am here, and thinking of comfortable reading, I would like to observe that a glaring and lurid font does nothing for me. At best I move on to the next post, at worst, I observe the highlighted and frequent misspelling. Not a very charitable thing to do I know, but when it's in your face, quite hard to miss.

Secondly, the disgraceful behaviour over the past few days has disappointed me. I had hoped for better. I had hoped for a little more charity. I had hoped that one critical post might be all there was before the kindness returned. Alas, not so, instead 27 daggers were drawn. This was entirely unnecessary. We all know what is right, and in my case anyhow, I have seen enough road carnage to drive the message home. The carping grated with me.
Here is a little story from Japan.
The Great Master, Bankei, was teaching a hundred pupils the Way of Zen. One pupil was caught stealing and the others were so offended that they petitioned for his dismissal from the school.
Bankei called everyone together and addressed them as follows: " You (petitioners) are very wise. You know what is right and what is not right. You may now all leave but the one wrongdoer must stay.
He does not know this truth and if I do not teach him, who will?"

Thirdly, God, The Devil, Saints and the whole panoply of Christianity. This is part of the Euorpean Cultural Heritage. It is very hard to escape and deeply woven into our history and particularly language.
On my desk I have a dictionary, a thesaurus and a bible (quite a lot of other reference books as well.)
I have no hesitation in using any of them if I am seeking to clarify a meaning or to understand an obscure text. Yes, I can quote scripture...this means very little as most will know. I also have no hesitation in speaking to people in their own terms. That is simple politeness. If anyone wants to be offended by religion I would suggest they take a broader view and a deep breath. Simply nod and smile and let the offence pass.

Fourthly, the reason for leaving. This is not a spur of the moment thing. I have thought about it for a while and even posted about it. Luckily I am one of those that is cured. The cure has been complete and total, though only 44 days so far. I have seen the light (notice how easily that slips in) and will no longer be a piss-artist.
I believe in a peaceful life, I mean no harm to anyone. This site has been very helpful to me and I don't want to carry any bad memories away from it. The recent episode just confirmed my decision.

I have grasped the pebble and it is time to go.

[Guest]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

BH

Please be very careful as thinking you are 'cured' can be a big con. I don't consider myself cured as although I no longer have the urge to drink I know if I do take a drink I would more than likely end up as bad, if not worse than I was before - and those urges can creep up at any time.

Regards this topic.

This forum is here to help people get sober. This is a VERY serious business and is life or death in many different ways. It isn't a place for softly, softly stroking each other as we are going through serious issues and that often needs serious, straight to the point words.

For years I hated those that told me some of the things I now find myself saying to others. I thought they were hard, mean, nasty when they wouldn't molly coddle me. Couldn't they see how difficult life was for me?how unfair it all was?how many problems I had?

As someone who has turned their AL corner to sobriety I now realise everything they told me was absolutely true. I fell really stupid I couldn't understand and wasn't prepared to listen. Sometimes I thought I was listening, but I wasn't. Think of all the time I might not had wasted, all the troubles I could have avoided if I had really been prepared to listen.

Here's the other thing. When actively drinking our minds are really affected, we are paranoid, insecure, frightened(although often we think we are not those things) and I certainly was very twisted thinking the world was against me. I would misread things into everything - and I still do as I still have to work on changing how I think and it doesn't change overnight.

Two things. Remember we are all here to help and re read posts at least 3 times, perhaps leaving a gap of several hours before jumping to conclusions or taking offence. This is something I'm guilty of myself but I know more experienced posters re read stuff a lot. One thing that's become obvious and I've noticed it in myself is that some times I'm actually too scared to post, usually when someone has been drinking or appears to be heading down a dangerou path. Why am I scared?because I know what I have to say would probably come across wrong and be seen as a personal attack. That's really sad actually especially when I can see that person possibly getting into trouble. But this is the forum I'd rather not post than be accused of being hurtful, ganging up or attacking someone. It's a great pity as despite what has once been posted I do have a lot of experience via my struggles to share.

[Guest]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

UKB. I have known from my very first days here that you are a star to every lonely wandering barque. I told you so early in the piece. I still believe it.
Whatever you have to say, I will listen to. Your words are not wasted on me.

[JackieClaire]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

UK,
Like you I read a posts several times. I also stand back and may take several hours to reply unless it's ASAP. I will research through peoples previous threads and posts to get a 'feel' for that person.
From your posts,UK, I can also see a lot of thinking, soul searching and gathering of information to help the person you're replying to which I applaud.
At the end of the day I am here to help my sobriety and if some body,any body gains a tiny bit of knowledge then that's a bonus.
J x
:l

[Guest]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Thanks like you JC I come here to help myself. I was always no good at taking my own advice and find typing, reading what I've said to others is really helping me in the same situations.

I think I'm also passionate about sobriety now too. Yes I'm one of those bright sunny types even if I did have a mega gloom last week where I lost the plot for 3 days!

I just hope everyone keeps on posting and letting me post.

[JackieClaire]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Do you know,Uk, a couple of days after I celebrated my one year AF anniversary I went into a real dip. I didn't want to drink but it's hard to explain. It was a kind of 'what now' feeling. It's happened a few times when I've been on a natural high. I'm going to have to keep yet another diary.
J x
:l

[Guest]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

UKB. There is very little fault I can find with you. But I would love to see less Pachelbel (think Canon) and more Vivaldi in your posts.

[hippie37]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

JackieClaire;910677 wrote: Do you know,Uk, a couple of days after I celebrated my one year AF anniversary I went into a real dip. I didn't want to drink but it's hard to explain. It was a kind of 'what now' feeling. It's happened a few times when I've been on a natural high. I'm going to have to keep yet another diary.
J x
:l

Jackie, I totally identify with that feeling of the 'dip'. I'd placed a lot of importance on the 12 months (1 year) milestone. Problem was I couldn't help but see it as a destination, the closer I got, rather than a milestone. It was kind of like "I've got here now, what do I do next?"

It's time to get off the cloud and get back in the car and continue the journey with all it's ups and downs.

Many Blessings
Phil

[JackieClaire]

The Past Two Days PLEASE READ!

Thanks Phil,
I was also overwhelmed by the memories of the hell I'd been going through and also what I was putting my family through in the last few weeks before I finally accepted that the madness had to stop.
So the next phase is now upon me. I start my child mentoring next week. I'm getting a little boy aged 8 and I'm so nervous and excited all at the same time.
Moving forward.
J x
:l