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What the HELL is happening here ???

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    #1

    What the HELL is happening here ???

    I am really worried about a couple of alarming trends here !

    1. It seems that a lot of good and strong people seem to be having a hard time keeping with their plan all of a sudden. This REALLY scares me !! Is it the fecking stars? the tides? WHAT??

    2. It also seems that there is a major shift in the focus here. It has been brought up to me by people here within the site and also outside the site the focus on a total AF life. And the ones that have brought it up have felt a certain amount of judgement.
    Both of which flies in the face of the founding principals of the site !!!
    RJ created this on the idea of Moderation and the use of Meds to achieve that goal.
    And Judgement was never a issue before.
    We all just supported each other on their path of getting control of their problem how ever they saw fit. ( MY WAY OUT !!!! )
    I have chose to try and live a totally sober life but some choose to attempt to Mod are successful to their liking.

    I think we all should re-access as a very loving and caring group what is happening.

    I'm sure this will piss off some here. But those that know me understand there is not a muffler between my brain and mouth.
    OK said it done thanks for reading this far.

    MUCH LOVE & PEACE

    Bob
    Tags: None
    #2
    What the HELL is happening here ???

    Pro, we each have our opinions. Some are MUCH more strident in expressing theirs. But each of us has to find our own, one path. For a few, it CAN be moderation. They're the lucky ones, but they are here too, and this place is for all of us.
    For many, there is no modding. It ALWAYS leads to trouble, loss of control. We each have to work our own plan, experiment, sometimes suffer, to find what really works for us.
    I hope everyone practices tolerance, understanding, and patience with those trying to figure out where they fit in their life. It's hard for me to put aside my personal feelings/experience sometimes, but we have to, because it's not about us, but helping someone else find their way.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #3
      What the HELL is happening here ???

      Bob,

      I think you are right on - with a site that is [supposed to be] so open in terms of achieving ones own defined set of goals, there has been a inordinate amount of judgement. The tone has changed from understanding to a harsh dogma. And it is concerning. This is not AA.

      Dan

      Comment

        #4
        What the HELL is happening here ???

        I am not going to get into battle of words here. I am in my own fragile place and fighting my own battle. But, I am going to make a post.
        I do know that I have read some posts lately that have seemed to be very judgmental that if you have been here for a period of time and are still having problems you are a failure. That you didn't do everything you could to fight this & get better. Some of the posts really hurt me because I have been struggling. A dear friend stopped posting.
        I hope that we all can support each other. I hope that this thread doesn't turn into a battle of the words. I do hope that it turns into a supportive thread. People are still struggling and they need support. I am included in that.
        Thank you for listening.
        "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
        ..........
        AF - 7-27-15

        Comment

          #5
          What the HELL is happening here ???

          Brief two cents here. Even when drinking people can come here and talk cuz that helps on many levels. It's company! It keeps most of us from drinking (drowning) our sorrows away.(more than we may have) May not always be someone to jump in, but in my experience there is always someone who understands. So to you who are struggling, don't let the bs going on stop you from being honest and posting. We are all here for a reason. Peace and out!

          Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


          St. Francis of Assisi

          Comment

            #6
            What the HELL is happening here ???

            Much love to you that have posted with passion and love!

            Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


            St. Francis of Assisi

            Comment

              #7
              What the HELL is happening here ???

              Chief.....We need to make this place a haven for all those that want to quit drinking or to moderate. i think that comarodery is very important. They have found that at work when employees get together and socialize.....production increaces ! So let's bring this idea to the Social world......Togetherness.....causes cohesion ......it can work, let's give it a try ! IAD
              ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
              those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
              Dr. Seuss

              Comment

                #8
                What the HELL is happening here ???

                I haven't been visiting much lately as I have chosen to mod and do feel a bit of a failure that I haven't managed to give up totally, I don't want to, and modding seem's to be working for me at the moment, that may change and I still feel I need the support and friendship of everyone here, thank's to this place I am drinking so much less than I have for 10 year's, I am also aware that I do have a problem and I have made some good friend's here,so I will be visiting more often and will try to ignore any judgemental comment's and enjoy the friendship and support that I have been missing for the past few week's. Thank you Pro for opening this discussion, love and hug's Twitch xxx

                Comment

                  #9
                  What the HELL is happening here ???

                  interesting

                  propartychief;917147 wrote: I am really worried about a couple of alarming trends here !

                  1. It seems that a lot of good and strong people seem to be having a hard time keeping with their plan all of a sudden. This REALLY scares me !! Is it the fecking stars? the tides? WHAT??

                  2. It also seems that there is a major shift in the focus here. It has been brought up to me by people here within the site and also outside the site the focus on a total AF life. And the ones that have brought it up have felt a certain amount of judgement.
                  Both of which flies in the face of the founding principals of the site !!!
                  RJ created this on the idea of Moderation and the use of Meds to achieve that goal.
                  And Judgement was never a issue before.
                  We all just supported each other on their path of getting control of their problem how ever they saw fit. ( MY WAY OUT !!!! )
                  I have chose to try and live a totally sober life but some choose to attempt to Mod are successful to their liking.

                  I think we all should re-access as a very loving and caring group what is happening.

                  I'm sure this will piss off some here. But those that know me understand there is not a muffler between my brain and mouth.
                  OK said it done thanks for reading this far.

                  MUCH LOVE & PEACE

                  Bob
                  good thread,ive been here for little better then 2 years,but like many resources b4 this one,i beleive they call it change,ive seen many come,and go,and come back,AA is the same,theres the old saying,take what is good,leave the rest,my sponsor has told me that for 11 years,isnt it the :goodjob::thanks: unhappy things that set us off in are lives,we should no better,but we are human,have a good day,gyco

                  Comment

                    #10
                    What the HELL is happening here ???

                    I am here to keep myself on the path in my journey to stay alcohol free,while i have been here i have made good friends which for me is a great bonus, so i would give a hand where i can, be it moderation, starting out, meds,etc ,We all have major battles here and passing judgement on other people doesn't help, one for all and all for one.:-)

                    PS, One should not confuse one owns personal opinions with being judgmental, we all have our own opinions.


                    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      What the HELL is happening here ???

                      Hi Bob, I am glad that you have made this post. It is always healthy for any organization, or group, to once in a while remind itself of its "mission statement" etc. Another trend that I have noticed is that of postings that are honest, and open, and motivated with a selfless desire to help others and to share.
                      Hill
                      Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        What the HELL is happening here ???

                        Wow!!! Thank you all so much!!!
                        I was really scared to post this.
                        I was sure I would get "slammed" for it.
                        But I had to get this off my chest. And was willing to "take the heat" for it.
                        To have respected members understand me means a lot!!!

                        I just hope any "Newbies" or "Oldies" having a hard time will read and KNOW we are about Love, Hope and Understanding!!!

                        To ALL my "Family" here: Work hard, and Stay strong !!! If my dumb country ass could do it you can to!!!!!!

                        MUCH LOVE & PEACE !!!!!

                        Bob

                        Comment

                          #13
                          What the HELL is happening here ???

                          propartychief;917315 wrote: Wow!!! Thank you all so much!!!
                          I was really scared to post this.
                          I was sure I would get "slammed" for it.
                          But I had to get this off my chest. And was willing to "take the heat" for it.
                          To have respected members understand me means a lot!!!

                          I just hope any "Newbies" or "Oldies" having a hard time will read and KNOW we are about Love, Hope and Understanding!!!

                          To ALL my "Family" here: Work hard, and Stay strong !!! If my dumb country ass could do it you can to!!!!!!

                          MUCH LOVE & PEACE !!!!!

                          Bob

                          Bob, no one should be scared to post anything here. This is an open forum and everyone has the right to state their opinion about something, share an experience or ask for, or offer advice. In the majority of cases, people are not judged nor are they criticized for what they post. With the odd exception of members upset by another's action. And the right to be angry and say so is a right as well. I have said before and will say it again, in an open forum with people from all walks of life and beliefs, I personally don't think it is reasonable for us to expect unconditional support for our actions all the time. If, at some point, we mess up badly, then I think the right thing is for other members to remind us of the consequences our actions could have had. Call it whatever you want - tough love if you will. Sometimes we need a boot in the rear rather than a pat on the head. And I think most members recognize that fact and are okay with it.
                          And if someone is having a tough time, as you said, everyone here knows that there are people on this forum constantly, day or night who are willing to step up and help if needed in whatever way we can. There have been times when members have been in chat for hours talking to a person who is feeling suicidal, or posting messages trying to find out if anyone has information on a member who has posted the possibility of suicide. Time and time again, people have come here having a difficult day and members have been here posting, again for hours, helping that person get through a difficult time. There have been members that have come here and posted while drinking and have said nasty, insulting things. But they have been welcomed back the next day with no judgment given. It's all part of the whole picture, part of the continuing struggles.
                          We are all in this together and at times, there will be conflict. It's like a family with a lot of kids, not everyone gets along with everyone all the time. There will be squabbles and spats. They will blow over and the family will all sit down for a peaceful evening together. We have to not pay attention to things that won't help us in our journey and focus on the things that will, the positive parts, and hold on tight to those.
                          Some of us are AF, some of us are moderating, some are still struggling to find their own personal motivation to kick the AL beast. And those who are moderating should definitely not be made to feel like a failure, neither should those who are still struggling. Failure is when you give up. That you keep on trying                           is the important part.
                          For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                          AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            What the HELL is happening here ???

                            Bob,

                            I don't know about those who are struggling right now that have been on a strong path prior. I haven't been on that much lately. However, that is a part of our lives. We will have easy times and difficult times with dealing with our paths.

                            Those who are struggling, know you are NOT alone and there is no shame in getting into that place. It is to be expected. Keep choosing the next right thing and you will come out the other end. :l

                            As far as judgemental posts. They happen, just as the drunken posts happen, just as the drama posts happen. One would think this is a community of drunks.

                            I try to be here to support, get support and care. I think even those who others feel are judgemental are here for the same thing. It is good to see this struggle from so many sides and so many different opinions. I appreciate all the members here.

                            Thank you for caring so much, Bob, and for posting a very important point. This website is not for a singular path. That is what makes MWO so precious to me. There is room for so many different ways to deal with our problem, alcoholism/abuse of alcohol, and we are here to support each other.

                            Love,
                            Cindi
                            AF April 9, 2016

                            Comment

                              #15
                              What the HELL is happening here ???

                              As far as judgemental posts. They happen, just as the drunken posts happen, just as the drama posts happen. One would think this is a community of drunks. >>>


                              hahaha Cinders; you made my morning!:l
                              AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
                              "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

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