A strange thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I have been visiting the MWO website for almost a year from home and from work. I bought the book about a year ago, the CD's in the spring, started some of the supplements in April and then finally went to the doctor for the first time in 10 years and asked for Topamax last month and started the medication, along with the whole program. Shortly after that I made a commitment to go a week alcohol free and make my first post on the web site to enjoy the benefits of the online support of this great community. On day 2 AF I made my quick little post from work at the end of the day. I referenced my type of work, I run a surgery practice and of course the physician who prescribed the Topamax knows all of the doctors. The next day I try all day off and on to get on the website from work and I can't until magically after 5 pm. This continues for the next 2 days. There is no mention that the website has been down, in fact I can see that the boards have been quite busy with posts during the periods that I was trying to get on. This of course sets off all kinds of paranoia. I no longer try to access the MWO website from work during working hours. I work very long hours and I found it very helpful to check in at mid day and again before setting off for my 1 hour commute to home (especially avoiding the stop for the bottle of wine). It really took the wind out of my sails to feel that someone may be watching. They may not either. It is hard for me to imagine that they have the time or inclination to monitor internet usage by the staff. We do have some software that does track internet usage that may have some automatic exclusion settings. I am too uncomfortable to even ask the IT guy about it right now.
I think it is worth a reminder that our employers do have the ability to track our internet access.
On a more positive note, I have definitely cut back on alcohol. I am drinking about a third of what I was drinking, but still more than my goal. I am at 150 mgs. of Topamax and have had no problems with side effects. Mild tingling (that I actually find comforting "ahh, the medicine is working") and perhaps some hair loss but I always have more hair loss this time of year. I still find my greatest challenge is working the hypno CD's into my schedule. I was not able to get the hypno in since last Sunday. This past week was a huge work week with my annual board of directors meeting on Wednesday. Unfortunately, I drank too much at the dinner following the meeting. Not dance on the tables too much, but one glass of wine more than I should have, mixing words too much. I don't think that 6 weeks will be long enough for me to work on the behaviour changes. This week will be a quiet week and I can really focus on me. Excercise, hypno, eat healthy. Start another week AF. Try to be a positive support to others here on the boards.
By the way, the reason I have been signing Lucky Lynn is because I not only got the Topamax after reading the horrror stories from some of the members, but also after 10 years of refusing to go to the doctor, all of my tests have come back fine.
Thanks for letting me make this long post.
I think it is worth a reminder that our employers do have the ability to track our internet access.
On a more positive note, I have definitely cut back on alcohol. I am drinking about a third of what I was drinking, but still more than my goal. I am at 150 mgs. of Topamax and have had no problems with side effects. Mild tingling (that I actually find comforting "ahh, the medicine is working") and perhaps some hair loss but I always have more hair loss this time of year. I still find my greatest challenge is working the hypno CD's into my schedule. I was not able to get the hypno in since last Sunday. This past week was a huge work week with my annual board of directors meeting on Wednesday. Unfortunately, I drank too much at the dinner following the meeting. Not dance on the tables too much, but one glass of wine more than I should have, mixing words too much. I don't think that 6 weeks will be long enough for me to work on the behaviour changes. This week will be a quiet week and I can really focus on me. Excercise, hypno, eat healthy. Start another week AF. Try to be a positive support to others here on the boards.
By the way, the reason I have been signing Lucky Lynn is because I not only got the Topamax after reading the horrror stories from some of the members, but also after 10 years of refusing to go to the doctor, all of my tests have come back fine.
Thanks for letting me make this long post.
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