There is something that's been on my mind, and I'd like some opinions from this wonderful think-tank. If your opinion and posts differs from mine, no harm. Just wanted to hear others.
When I first began my journey, I had been to a 28 day rehab. Much of what I learned there has played out in my life, and the lives of those who were my family in that time. Because I had a DUI, I also attended driving school, and then I found this place, and I continued to experience some of what I'd learned, and saw it, in my opinon.
One thing was that when we begin 'using', whether it's AL or drugs', our emotional development stalls. If we are in our teens, when keep that level of emotions until we get clean. The same with the other periods in our lives. Also, if we are hard workers, or slackers, it remains the same; if we are dedicated to certain people, it continues. We don't 'learn', or 'grow up', during our abuse.
Maybe the easiest way to explain this view is an experience I had in rehab. Some have heard this story, so my apologies to those for repeating. I was late to the game of being a daily drunk. My children were grown, my husband working all the time, and I was a caretaker by nature. This continued in rehab. My first roomate was a young woman named Barbie. She'd been molested from 11 to 15, and started drinking but preferred drugs, moving up to crystal meth. Within days, I was moved. (I also snore!)
After that, another young woman, with a similar background to Barbie, arrived, and they became fast friends. I was older, always trying to help others as usual, whether they wanted it or not. Reminded me of the old joke about the boy scout who arrived at his meeting, sweating and disheveled. When his Scout Master asked why, the boy said he was helping an old lady across the street. "But why are you sweaty?" asked the leader, to which the boy replied, "Because she REALLY didn't want to go!"
Soon after, things got weird, fast. I'd been assigned another young pregant roommate, and we were fine. I helped her, loaned her things, gave her a baby shower. But Barbie had started an all out campaign against me. She aligned everyone possible against me, telling them things I'd 'said' about them. I was cold shouldered everywhere. The last straw came when she and a group confronted me on the commons and said I was interferring with her learning because I was writing a letter to Hubs in a class. By then, Hubs and my sister had been for a visit, and she walked past us as much as possible, very dressed up, very flirty. I won't tell you what Hubs and sister said about her! She said in the confrontation Hubs and sister were proabably sleeping together while I was away.
Last straw, I thought. I had my card out and was heading to call Hubs to pick me up (he'd already called the director and complained I found out) when the counselors intecepted me and called an intervention. They asked me to be silent for 24 hours, as a test. Then I could leave if I wanted. I was still mad, but did it, and it was an epiphany.
Anyway, I'm here today. Last word I heard, Barbie is on the streets, banned from her husband and children, selling herself for drugs. She was around 15 when she started.
Her actions were definitely juvenile. When I see people here who have been addicted since their youth, many still have those same, juvenile, defiance. And it changes with each story.
Sorry to take up so much space. I just wonder what you think. Of course we change in many ways during this time. We go on, our bodies age, we have relationships, we have children. But how much is based on that theory? How much of the way we think is because of that age-gap in our brain and body.
Again, this is one idea. Please think before you respond, about this. I truly feel if we can figure out some of the aspects, effects addiction has had on us, we can become better, truer to ourselves.
Ruby
When I first began my journey, I had been to a 28 day rehab. Much of what I learned there has played out in my life, and the lives of those who were my family in that time. Because I had a DUI, I also attended driving school, and then I found this place, and I continued to experience some of what I'd learned, and saw it, in my opinon.
One thing was that when we begin 'using', whether it's AL or drugs', our emotional development stalls. If we are in our teens, when keep that level of emotions until we get clean. The same with the other periods in our lives. Also, if we are hard workers, or slackers, it remains the same; if we are dedicated to certain people, it continues. We don't 'learn', or 'grow up', during our abuse.
Maybe the easiest way to explain this view is an experience I had in rehab. Some have heard this story, so my apologies to those for repeating. I was late to the game of being a daily drunk. My children were grown, my husband working all the time, and I was a caretaker by nature. This continued in rehab. My first roomate was a young woman named Barbie. She'd been molested from 11 to 15, and started drinking but preferred drugs, moving up to crystal meth. Within days, I was moved. (I also snore!)
After that, another young woman, with a similar background to Barbie, arrived, and they became fast friends. I was older, always trying to help others as usual, whether they wanted it or not. Reminded me of the old joke about the boy scout who arrived at his meeting, sweating and disheveled. When his Scout Master asked why, the boy said he was helping an old lady across the street. "But why are you sweaty?" asked the leader, to which the boy replied, "Because she REALLY didn't want to go!"
Soon after, things got weird, fast. I'd been assigned another young pregant roommate, and we were fine. I helped her, loaned her things, gave her a baby shower. But Barbie had started an all out campaign against me. She aligned everyone possible against me, telling them things I'd 'said' about them. I was cold shouldered everywhere. The last straw came when she and a group confronted me on the commons and said I was interferring with her learning because I was writing a letter to Hubs in a class. By then, Hubs and my sister had been for a visit, and she walked past us as much as possible, very dressed up, very flirty. I won't tell you what Hubs and sister said about her! She said in the confrontation Hubs and sister were proabably sleeping together while I was away.
Last straw, I thought. I had my card out and was heading to call Hubs to pick me up (he'd already called the director and complained I found out) when the counselors intecepted me and called an intervention. They asked me to be silent for 24 hours, as a test. Then I could leave if I wanted. I was still mad, but did it, and it was an epiphany.
Anyway, I'm here today. Last word I heard, Barbie is on the streets, banned from her husband and children, selling herself for drugs. She was around 15 when she started.
Her actions were definitely juvenile. When I see people here who have been addicted since their youth, many still have those same, juvenile, defiance. And it changes with each story.
Sorry to take up so much space. I just wonder what you think. Of course we change in many ways during this time. We go on, our bodies age, we have relationships, we have children. But how much is based on that theory? How much of the way we think is because of that age-gap in our brain and body.
Again, this is one idea. Please think before you respond, about this. I truly feel if we can figure out some of the aspects, effects addiction has had on us, we can become better, truer to ourselves.
Ruby
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
Comment