Not Feeling Strong

[sunshinedaisies]

Not Feeling Strong

K9Lover;925618 wrote: Just to clarify - I did NOT cave in...just felt like it. Maybe the way I told my story seems like I gave in....

Sorry - I thought you did!! I still haven't but am so close!! reading all these posts is giving me food for thought though. Sorry again for the misunderstanding......

sushinedaisies

[neart]

Not Feeling Strong

I thought you did too! Fair play for holding strong

[Mrs Donovan]

Not Feeling Strong

Well done for not caving K9 - it was a very easy opportunity that presented itself to you and you stayed strong - you should feel really proud of yourself :l

[techie]

Not Feeling Strong

I'm so happy for you niner. Having the courage to reach out in a weakened state. I only hope I will do the same. I do hear the shine wears off a bit. At 81 days I starting to experience a level of complacency myself. I'm just going to try and up my healthy activity level. If that fails, look for me on chat...I'VE MISSED YOU!!!

[K9Lover]

Not Feeling Strong

Thank you all for your kind responses. I also realized that I have not been on MWO as much as I used to be...so I'm going to change that! Once I start straying the cravings seem to hit harder. So I guess you all are stuck with me! LOL

[Chillgirl]

Not Feeling Strong

Great to have you here K9 - there is always wisdom here on a daily basis to help us get through the wobbly bits

[papmom3]

Not Feeling Strong

Hey K9er,
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm coming up on my 90 days totally AF (5 months since journey started) and this week has been the worst in terms of almost caving. This past weekend I went into Chat (I've only been there twice before in the very beginning) because the craving was so great that even tho I had made it home without stopping, I was seriously considering going out again just to get a bottle. The people in chat that nite were so great and so supportive and gave me just what I needed: encouragement and laughs and a diversion.
Hang in there-I know the shine wears off but the shine wears off on a lot of things in life. It is worth it to experience life AF. The Beast tries to tell me that isn't true but we all know he is a big fat liar.
:l

[paguy]

Not Feeling Strong

Hi K9 - glad you were able to defend yourself from the BEAST. This thread was very helpful and timely for me as I have been thinking about what happens when I reach that point of complacency and start asking myself 'is this all there is?' All of the advice and reminders that have been posted pretty much tell the story of the magnitude of how rich an AF life can be. I am a relatively new kid on the block (21 days) and I am already reaping the benefits of having my blood pressure under control and I am enjoying a full nights sleep. (Not to mention the $75 a week that I am saving by not buying a fifth of vodka every other day and my increased productivity at work).

Stay strong and be fearless!

[spuddleduck]

Not Feeling Strong

k9, well done for not caving. i did at 3 months and regret it so much. i suggest reading back on your own posts about how crap it was when you drank and how much better sober is. also now you are not drinking you can get a thrill about doing new things. i would never start anything cos i knew i wouldnt finish them as i would be pissed. i bought a little battery operated sewing machine at the weekend, dirt cheap and ive been having fun making little bits and bobs. felt stars and stuff with nice smells on them to hang around the house. such a little thing but i wouldnt have done it in the bad old days. it does seem to be a common theme that the sober buzz goes and we forget how fantastic it actually is. being sober gives us the time and space to get a thrill about other things in life instead of just trying to get through the day.

[Guest]

Not Feeling Strong

Sobriety doesn't mean you will suddenly win the lottery, or that things will always go your way. It does give the ability to deal with life and grow. I think we need to remind ourselves every day and showing gratitude is a useful thing.

For instance remember when you were still drinking?you thought you would never stop?you were completely addicted?your addiction was going to kill you(it was me!!)?

BUT YOU STOPPED AND GOT AF.

A miracle?

When I look back at how hopeless I was with alcohol, then look at all those other alcoholics who still drink year in, year out(yes they are out there). Only a small proportion of alcoholics do get AF. Now isn't that just wonderful it happens to be you?

I am learning patience. Previously attempts at sobriety I wanted everything now, I would do everything at once because I wanted what I 'deserved'. Nowadays I keep myself in check as we have years to live and plan for.

[Guest]

Not Feeling Strong

Spuds

How do you put smells on stars?

[Johnny]

Not Feeling Strong

I find it really hard to maintain the initial positive buzz that I got from not drinking and it hasn't even been two months for me. AA meetings help me a lot, I feel very included there and despite the different journeys people have taken to get there; there is a common and unifying understanding which seems to tie every one together spiritually (wow there were a lot of there's there). I have been forgetting to say my prayers lately too. As I've said before, I don't subscribe to the traditional western concept's of what God is but over the last few weeks I've found it helpful to say a prayer each morning, it helps me to stay grateful for the fact that I am giving myself a REAL shot at the life that I hope to live. I am glad you have had the strength to stay strong K9. Like you I have not been posting as much lately, it's good to know there are people out there who have a shared goal, that really helps.

[PhoenixRising]

Not Feeling Strong

Good on you K9 for not caving. You're a strong lady. Are you feeling better about it today?

[momof3]

Not Feeling Strong

K9

What you are feeling is perfectly normal in the course of one's sobriety. AA calls it "the pink cloud", i.e., that almost elated feeling one has when they initially stop drinking and are thrilled with the novelty of their sobriety. How long one feels this way varies from one individual to another. For me, I was at about the 4 month mark when the pink cloud lifted. I found myself struggling and didn't feel that being AF was worth it anymore. I felt "deprived" and was white knuckling it from one day to the next. It was a sign that something was just not working with my approach to being AF.

I came to these threads like you did and got lots of great support and advice. I learned that it's not just about putting the AF time in, it's about looking at the quality of your life, rediscovering yourself, and finding those things that bring you happiness, contentment, and excitement. For me, my first step was getting back into exercise and running (something I let fall by the wayside). Then, other things just started falling into place. I started eating more healthily, I lost weight, I joined a church community, started doing volunteer work, and went the next level with my business. I also became more present with my friends and my family. I did all of those things that I kept myself from doing because my life revolved around 2 bottles of wine per day. I have more energy now then I could have ever possibly have imagined.

For me, it's been all about creating a life where there is no room for alcohol. I have fleeting temptations from time to time when I get the romantic notion in my head that it would be nice to have "one drink" (as if there is such a thing). But, there is no way that I am going to take a chance on giving up all that I have for that fleeting temptation.

M3