It's just over a year since I found MyWayOut and signed up, and almost eight months since I fully and finally made a different choice.
I honestly cannot say what happened exactly just that I really could not see any point in continuuing to drink, so I chose sobriety over not sobriety. It sounds so simple and in a way it is, choosing sobriety, or anything else for that matter, in the moment. For me it was guilt, fear, shame, and other old patterns and memories that were the struggle.
We make choices in the moment, often without thinking, for example to breathe, we don't need permission to breathe, feel guilty about it or listen to anyone elses thoughts on how or whether to breathe we just do. We are our own counsel, so much more than the name we carry.
Each of us has our own perceptions but we are shepherded to believe that certain matters are immutable, that we are victims, we have no power, but that isn't so, all of the power we will ever need is within us. My personal perception is that drinking and so many other activities are a means of escaping from what seems to be a cruel and cold world, often the outer personal circumstances seem ideal, lovely children, home, satisfying work and so on and that makes the destructive patterns so much more inexplicable.
Deep down in all of us there is a knowing that the world and the life we are told to believe in is flawed, so what we feel is at odds with what we see and hear. The journey to freedom, for that is what this is, begins with seeking answers within yourself, trusting your perceptions, being your own guide and restoring yourself to power and wholeness. What I am attempting to say is that none of us are the drinking, the drinking is a call to change and being guided here is a means to making that change.
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